Hilary's Thoughts

I do exist.

2010-10-15T20:52:00.003-04:00

There's some Descartes for you. Do I exist because I'm blogging? Nope...I exist otherwise, but some of you might not know it as I haven't updated this thing in a while. Why, you might ask?

Because I'm a busy-ass woman. Crazy busy. PhDing, teaching, churching...these things take up most of my time, and the few moments I have to spare are spent hanging out with my husband or sleeping. *Le sigh* If only I had more time to blog! I have thought of many things I want to blog about, and would love to devote whole posts to, but due to lack of time at the moment, I'll just post them as brief points.

The alternate title for this is "random things I've been doing lately that by no means are representative of what I've been doing lately."

1. Running "barefoot." I use quotation marks because I bought some Vibram Fivefingers (KSO Treks, for those interested in the model) and have been running in them. They're those crazy tow/foot shoes you may have seen around. It's been so much fun! I already had a short running stride, so I haven't had to do quite as much of the form work many folks have to do when they start running in these things, but there's still been some adjusting. But it's actually fun. I was running through the wildlife sanctuary by the house the other day, in golden woods (gorgeous doesn't even begin to capture it), listening to some U2, and it hit me. This is fun. Really fun. I don't think I ever would have said that about running before, but there you go. Something about running in quasi-bare feet, in gorgeous woods, in 50 degree weather, with awesome music was sublime. I think I've found my favorite running weather (although admittedly the leaves on the ground make it hard to see the acorns I'm trying not to step on). I am especially looking forward to hiking in my Fivefingers, as they give me so much more control in my movements. I can feel where my foot is being placed and how good of a grip I've got. They rock my world.

2. Librivox.org. Best. Thing. Ever. As I've written about before, I drive. Alot. And I'd been getting bored with my music (even my new music) so I decided to try these audio books. Now, I didn't think I would like audiobooks, as I was afraid I would start thinking as I tend to do when driving and lose track. That hasn't happened at all, and my drives feel so much shorter! Librivox has podcasts that are free, and there's a ton of free public domain books. Right now I'm working through various Jane Austen works (I'm a sucker for parlour intrigue!). Check out the site if you get a chance. I'd love to volunteer for them, but don't have time at the moment.

3. Ummm what else? Reading. Writing. Reading. Reading. Driving. Reading.

4. Oh I've kept up my "don't take the interstate" as much as possible. There's a 20 mile stretch I have to take on the way to school, but it's not a toll road. Mileage is better. My stress level while driving is better. Aside from about 15 extra minutes in driving time, it's win-win!

So there you go. That's all I can think of at the moment. The Hubs and I are about to watch a movie, and then I have to get back to reading this ridiculously boring book for class. I'll be glad when this particular class is over...

Weeks 2,3, and Random Update

2010-08-25T20:39:00.003-04:00

Well weeks 2 and 3 flew by without an update from me. So far I'm up to -7.5 lbs officially (although when I cheated and checked yesterday I was more at 12 lbs-hooray!). They went pretty well, actually, and I feel like I've been staying "on plan." The real challenge will be once school starts and things get more stressful and hectic, although on the plus side my life will be more structured, which personally makes eating right sometimes an easier task. R has been going right along with me (although he's not officially doing Weight Watchers). We've been eating well-but I've noticed it's not much different from what we would eat before. It's less potatoes and more attention to portion sizes. But for the most part it's the same foods as before, with the exception of my oatmeal addition. I discovered Trader Joe's has a quick cooking steel cut oatmeal and it's fantastic! I was finally able to get my hands on some good peaches, and have been having those in my oatmeal this week. So good.

In random news, things are about the get started-as in TOMORROW! I have orientation all day tomorrow and most of the day on Friday. I'm excited about meeting the other members of my "cohort" (as they for whatever reason call an incoming class of PhD students). Ours is apparently pretty small-only eight, I think, and I'm the only early modern Britain person among the group. I don't know if there's anyone doing renaissance on the Continent, though. It would be cool if there were, but since UConn is such a powerhouse for American history, they may be all from that side of things! But there may be a medievalist in there as well, which would be cool. I'm going to bust out with my brand new Nutcase helmet (it's so much fun!) and folding bike (a Dahon) tomorrow, as I'm sure I'll have to park a million miles away. And why wait for the shuttle when I can ride my bike over to the building?

It's been cold and rainy for the past few days. We need the rain badly, but I could live without the temps in the low 60s. Luckily tomorrow it's supposed to be 81, and then up in the upper 80s over the weekend, so that will be great. We're hoping to make another trip to Six Flags for the water park before it closes for the season. The downside of the warm weather is that I will get sweaty biking to class, but whatever. I'd be sweaty walking too, so what are you going to do? Nothing I guess.

Other than that...I bought new glasses today. I bought a $99 pair from Sears last year and after about a month came to hate them. I mean, I loathe these glasses. It's not that they look bad (because they don't), there's just something about them...so anyway, this time I decided that I was going to spend money on my glasses, as they'll probably be getting more use than usual (I want to be really conscientious about taking them out when I get home at night before I study). I remember the last pair of glasses I spent more money on, and I loved them. I like these ones too...they're Ray-Bans (only got that brand because at LensCrafters there's some sort of thin laser lens you can get if you've got stupid bad vision like myself that only costs 10 bucks more than a regular lens but you have to buy Ray-ban frames). I like the look, and I can't wait until they come in! Maybe I'll post a picture then. It was admittedly weird going to the eye doctor today, as I've gone to the same guy since I was in 3rd grade, and needless to say he's out of my insurance network now. So I had to find a new optometrist : ( But she was nice, so it's all good. The big surprise was she said I didn't need the astigmatism correction in my contacts-that it wasn't severe enough to warrant it. I was a bit taken aback by this because I've had at least one toric lens since I started wearing contacts...so she gave me a pair without them and told me to try them out for a week or two and see how I liked them. So far so good...I hope they work, because they're much cheaper!

And my garden is still going strong. The tomato crop has been fantastic this year. I think next year I'm only going to plant tomatoes-big ones in one bed, cherries in another. Then we can make sauces and salsas with our maters! This year we've been able to have BLTs and caprese salad, which has been awesome. I love me some home grown maters. Now if I could only find some fried green tomatoes up here, I'd be all set. I've been craving them for some reason.

Oh well. Anyway here's to the beginning of exciting things!!!

Fab Five Friday

2010-08-12T20:51:00.006-04:00

So I've seen on a few blogs people doing these things called "fab five Fridays" or whatever cutesy name you'd like to insert. Technically it's Thursday, but I will just wait to post this until tomorrow. Tricksy, eh? Yes... But R is still sick and Futurama isn't on until 10 and I have nothing else I feel like doing, so here are my five fabulous things for this Friday, not because I'm doing them but because I felt like writing about them.

1. My garden. Except for the squash.

(The above are obviously not squash, but rather tomatoes). I love my garden-this year we did raised beds, and they've done pretty well! I have 5 cobs of corn coming along (the most exciting part, in my opinion...unfortunately I'm not exactly sure when to pick them so that could raise problems), tons of maters-both small and large, cucumbers, strawberries, and watermelon (I have 3 baby melons!). So far the tomatoes have gotten the most use-the cukes have been smaller than usual, and the corn's not ready yet. Nor are the baby melons. I planted some bell peppers later in the summer and they just now seem to be blossoming, so we'll see what happens there. But the tomatoes-oh man. That's the main reason to have a summer garden in the first place! We've had caprese salad twice, blt's once, stuffed peppers (using homegrown tomato puree) once, and tonight we had a tomato on our burgers. So. Friggin. Good.

Except for the squash. For whatever reason squash hates growing for me. I can't grow it in Massachusetts. I couldn't grow it in Kentucky. I don't know why.

2. Vermont. This is a picture taken near Smuggler's Notch State Park in Vermont.

R and I went here on our staycation/New England sampler vacation. Let me say, it was awesome! The park itself was really small-only 20 campsites I think, and hiking and camping is all that particular park has. BUT...they were really low key, had firewood for 4 bucks and a fire starter (which meant we didn't have to dig around for kindling), and we had a nice site near the bathroom, which kept me from having to sneak a pee behind a tree in the middle of the night when I don't want to walk to the bathroom by myself because it's cold and I don't feel like being attacked by bears thank you very much.

Anyway the park was awesome. Ben and Jerry's was cool. Stowe was cute, though I would never ever want to go near there in the winter. I imagine it's a mad house. Smuggler's Notch itself was awesome. We hiked up a mountain to a mountain top lake, looked at said lake, and then hiked down. On the way down a group wouldn't move and I proceeded to fall and scrape the crap out of my knee, but that was the worst of it. Got some good pictures of the lake, though.

Oh and they let you have beer in Vermont State Parks. I just have to remind myself of what that place must be like in the winter to keep me from wanting to move there. I don't mind winter, when it's 2.5 months like it is in Kentucky. When it's November-Aprilish like it is in New England I tend to be a little...disenchanted. So I just kept imagining that I was hiking up that mountain in 3 feet of snow a la Lord of the Rings. That helped temper my Vermont enthusiasm a bit.

3. Beer. This will be a constant. I just thought it was a convenient time to update you all on a few things of note in my beer world:

-The Hefeweizen should be ready to drink early next week, though it will improve in taste even more in a few more weeks.

-There's a Pale Ale in the carboy just waiting to be bottled next week. That means we'll have about 100 bottles of homebrew at once. Woohoo!

-R saw a post on Facebook that I was craving a hoppy Pale Ale, and stopped to get me some despite his growing illness. I love him.

-Summer ales are disappearing for the year. WTF? It's AUGUST folks, and the middle of August at that. I realize Oktoberfest is technically in September, but do we really have to pull out the Oktoberfest beers in the middle of August? I'm still in summer mode. I only gripe about this because my local brewery is done with growler fills of their summer for this year, and has Oktoberfest. I like Oktoberfest as much as the next person, and I LOVE fall beers (Shipyard's Pumkinhead being my absolute favorite of the fall selection), but I'm not ready for that. I'm still in my cloudy-wheat-ale phase of summer. Why do I have to settle for bottles for the next month? Sigh.

4. This blog: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com You need to read it. Now.

5. Jesus. I guess he should be number one, really, seeing as he's Jesus and all. We're buds, as you can tell from this picture. Anyway, Jesus really is awesome. Not joking about that one. Seriously.

So there you have it. What's not awesome? One of my best friends is moving away to Chicago. And R is sick. Boo.

But dogs are cute, right? So we'll end on a happy note. The dog on the left is Poppie, my mom's (she's...5 now?) and the dog on the left is my nephew's, SkippyJon (named after the oh so awesome SkippyJon Jones books). My mom took this the other morning and sent it to me with the caption: BFF.

There. Don't say I never gave you anything.

In Which R is Sick...Or How I Learned My Cats Aren't Cuddly

2010-08-12T18:25:00.006-04:00

I don't have too much of a history with cats. We had one when I was a kid. I remember my brother, sister, and I finding a stray as it wandered into our backyard. We wanted to keep it badly, so we wrote some ridiculous song and sang it to my parents, convincing them about how much fun having a cat would be! what we could name it! how creative we were to boot! I don't know how Mom and Dad sat there and listened without falling onto the floor and rolling about in cramp-inducing laughter. I think that's what parenting must be about, really-not laughing at your kids for being ridiculous. Needless to say, they took pity on our attempts at melodic greatness, and let us keep the cat. We named it Doodles. Doodles...well, I don't remember much about her. She eventually lived in the basement (which was part of the house and didn't have to be entered from the outside, lest someone think us cruel), until she decided to pee on everything in sight. So she "Went to a farm," which I found out only 2 years ago meant she had to be put down. Why my parents felt they had to resort to a "code" about this I have no idea. They evade the question when I ask it.

Then we got dogs. Or rather, my brother and sister got a dog (and eventually my mom, and my nephew). I, unfortunately, never got a dog, though I hold out hopes of one day fulfilling this dream. Our oldest dog was Peachie (rest her soul, she had to be put down last September). She was a canine trash compacter-her favorite food was turnip peels, and she also ate chocolate chip cookies and a whole tube of neosporin. The only thing that almost killed her-as a puppy, no less-was some sample dog food. Go figure.

Peachie had an amazing knack for taking up room on the bed. When my brother, N, would have to be out of town or at a friend's house or whatever, she'd sleep with me because my room was right next to his and her whining kept me up all night. She'd proceed to get in my bed, position herself between my body and the wall, and stick her legs straight out, thereby reducing the space on my twin bed for me to about 6 inches. And she smelled. But she was a nice dog.

What I'm trying to get at is that Peachie was cuddly, as much as a beagle-mutt who smells bad and eventually had bad joints could be. Doodles I never got the chance to find out. And our other dogs (until the recent SkippyJon addition-a chihuahua who I'm convinced is secretly a parrot who sits on our shoulders because we're all pirates though we don't know it yet) are too big to snuggle. Lesson-dogs kind of cuddly. Cats, until this point, I had no clue, though I did house-sit one summer and that cat spent every night attacking my feet, until I figured out a way to fling the sheets and send said cat flying. It was pretty righteous.

Which brings me to Gizmo and Leela. Giz used to be incredibly cuddly, but he's not so much anymore. He does enjoy being picked up and held on his back, getting his belly rubbed, but he's not the biggest fan of sitting in my lap (though R is his BFF so he'll sit there every now and then). Leela, on the other hand, is a maniac for sitting on my lap or laying on my stomach and kneading my chest and generally getting in the way of whatever it is I'm trying to do, which is usually read a book for school. I'd call her decently cuddly, on her own terms.

Which brings me, in a rather round about way, to last night. R is sick with who knows what (fever and aching and fatigue). He was going to sleep in our spare room, but I was gallant and told him the sick person should get to sleep in our own bed. I actually do believe this, and when I'm sick he can sleep in the other room, although this is the first time in our life we've had to do this. Anyway I'm sleeping in the spare room and I think, "Hey, the cats aren't allowed in our room, but why not let them sleep in the spare room with me? the sheets will get washed, so no cat hair issues!" I thought "this will be fun! awesome! adorable!" not to mention they would provide some heat as well as white noise with their oh so peaceful purring. This is what I had in mind, or some variation on this (and I'm too lazy to rotate the pic, so deal):

These are my actual kittens on the day we brought them home. Gizmo takes up that entire bed now, by the way, when he chooses to sleep in it. Which is never. He prefers the weight bench.

The night started OK. The cats were intrigued by these things called "sheets" and "blankets." Luckily they didn't give a damn about the pillow, lest I have to go spritzing them. I read for a while, and turned off the light. They walked around a bit but then left the room and generally ignored me. Gizmo came in a few hours later and laid down on part of the bed, but there was no cute cuddling action going on. There was nothing going on, really.

Until 4:30 AM.

I should say that I have no idea where my cats sleep at night. Whenever I get up for my inevitable middle of the night pee, Gizmo might be sleeping on the bathroom floor, but usually neither cat is anywhere to be found. But it's always quiet. We get up on weekdays around 6:30ish, so that's when they eat. And they sometimes stir before that, but we've never been woken up by the cats before 5 something, I'd say.

Until this morning. At 4:30 AM.

My cats became this:

Only with the curtains. And really only Leela (who's a black cat). But I thought this picture captured the mood (the picture itself, if you click on it, will take you to the site where I got it. See? Not plagiarizing is awesome!)

Leela thought this would be the most awesomest time to attack the curtain above my head. Not the other curtains in the house. That particular one. And did she ever show that curtain who was boss (imagine said gun pointed at a curtain).

So then I had to show her who was boss, and I kicked them both out of my guest room (figuratively) and went back to sleep.

Lesson: Hilary's cats do not equal cuddly sleeping at night cats, but are rather curtain attack cats after 4 AM. Especially Leela. Gizmo just orders the hit.

Week 1

2010-08-09T11:01:00.002-04:00

I realize this isn't a weightloss blog...I don't know what kind of blog this is, to be honest. However, I figure I would at least update my admiring public once a week on how things are going on each weigh-in day, which for me is a Monday (by the way, I've noticed lately that several people are showing up on this blog who I don't know. Welcome! ).

So. Week 1: 1.5 lbs. Not too bad really. I should feel more excited about it than I actually do. I cheated and got on the scale yesterday, and was down 2 lbs from last Monday, but I guess dinner last night had an effect. It wasn't a bad dinner either-I just probably ate a little more than I should have. The week got thrown off by a KISS concert on Saturday night. I have to be better about not letting those things get in my way. I also had a cookie at coffee hour yesterday, which isn't usual for me. For the most part I never have anything at coffee hour because there's nothing left by the time I'm free! Probably a good thing, I think.

For the most part, the week went well. I mentioned to R that I noticed we really didn't have to change our menu all that much-just portions. We have removed potatoes-not that potatoes are bad for us, they're actually low in points, but we've been filling out meals with 0-point veggies. For example, we're having stuffed peppers tonight and I'm making squash as a side to fill things out a bit. It's made a big difference-if you eat lots and lots of 0-point veggies, having 3-6 oz. of chicken doesn't seem so small. So much of this is psychology, but there you go.

As I wrote last week, having the fresh cut veggies on hand has also been a huge help. And the oatmeal. I think I tripped up last night because I went on a 45 minute run and then we didn't have dinner for almost 3 hours. Raw veggies don't help when you've bonked after a run. Oh well. I ate a little more than I should have but no biggie.

So 1.5 lbs. Not bad. My goal weight for the short-term (as in, the next few months) is 21 lbs from where I am now-definitely do-able as long as I stay on track! I have noticed a big difference though, even with these few lbs. I'm closer to where I was at the beginning of the summer. It just goes to show how much of a difference a few lbs of weight-loss can make in the way you feel!

Here We Go Again

2010-08-05T11:42:00.002-04:00

Well, I jumped back on Weight Watchers. Not that I every really dropped out because I wanted to-it was really a financial thing more than anything else (when you only have a part time job, 18.00 a month can be a mega hit). I did OK-my running speed has definitely improved and for the most part I've maintained my weight. Until vacation, when I started to gain a little back. I think I've gained about 10-15 from my low point that I was in last fall, and I could feel it. I was feeling bad about it too-I'd worked really hard to lose the 36-37 lbs that I had lost between February and October 2009, and I didn't want all of that to fall by the wayside. So, I joined back up. Luckily the mechanics of it are already familiar to me, so I don't have to go through all of that. Now is just the 1-2 week "detox" period, where my body's metabolism gets back on track and I'm hungry all of the time. I have done a few things differently this time, though, and they're working (so far). I thought I'd share, for those who are interested:

1. Have a huge supply of pre-cut raw vegetables for snacking. We've got carrots, peppers, and cucumbers in the fridge and I've noticed that it's made a big difference. I can pack a bag for lunch, and when I get home I can munch on some if I feel the need. R has taken to having a pre-dinner veggie snack, which is good for him because it keeps him from eating more at dinner (he's not officially doing WW, but since I am, he's going along in a way). It's so much easier for me to make good decisions when they're ready and sitting in the fridge, staring me in the face. There's no excuse, basically, for me to have something else when there are fresh-cut vegetables available...

2. ...unless I'm really hungry. I love veggies, but raw vegetables don't always do the trick for me in terms of hunger. They might, but if I'm getting ready for a run they don't do much. Then I have to turn to a snack that actually has a points value (for those who don't know, in WW you track points-derived from a combo of calories, fat, and fiber). This could be a sandwich thin with some peanut butter, or some cottage cheese, or just something with a little protein. Or grapes, which I've found so really well for me before a workout, for whatever reason.

3. Oatmeal is my friend. This is HUGE for me. If there is one healthy food I have never been able to eat in the past, it's cooked oatmeal. Don't get me wrong-I love oatmeal cookies, granola, and things with oatmeal in it. But cooked breakfast oatmeal? Gag me with a spoon. I've tried to like it, I really have, but to no avail. Until I discovered steel cut oats. These have made all the difference in the world-I think I'm addicted to the stuff! And it fills me up better than my usual cheerios (which I love), so I'm not hungry at 10 am. It's also worked as an afternoon snack for a pre-workout, although then I make it with water instead of milk. I have a couple of ways I make it, and I love both. So tasty.

4. Smaller cutlery makes a difference. In the morning, I don't use the giant spoons we have (I would like to point out that R already had these when we got married, so I played no role in the purchasing of our cutlery :) ), but smaller spoons. It makes me eat slower, and it feels like I'm eating more as I'm taking more bites. I know that sounds weird, but I'll take whatever psychological edge I can get. At dinner, I use a small fork for the same reason. When cooking oven fries, I use the smaller pizza pan as it makes one serving look like more than when it's dwarfed on a huge pan. For folks who don't have weight issues, this may sound ridiculous. But I promise, it makes a huge difference when regulating portion size!

5. Black coffee tastes good. Enough said, really, although I do like a little half and half in the morning, but as I lose weight and my daily points allotment drops, that may have to go. We'll see.

So there you go. Just a few things that have worked for me. I recently discovered a couple of cool blogs as well that provide some interesting views on weight loss.
All the Weigh (a young woman in NYC chronicles her weight loss-which is over 100 lbs!)
Man Meets Scale (the CEO of WW, who is also a member, has a really down to earth and personable blog)

Hope you're having a good summer. The south is baking. It's humid up here. We went on a staycation, but more on that later. For now, I've got to get back to reading about medieval women brewers.

Awesome (albeit potentially dangerous) Find

2010-07-17T17:34:00.002-04:00

Today I found something awesome. I tried to find a similar one yesterday, and followed my Google maps directions to get there. During rush hour. In 93 degree heat. In a car with no AC. The directions took me to a gravel road in the middle of Worcester (which actually isn't as rare as one might think it would be) that turned out to be an alley behind some people's houses. Not what I was looking for. Frustration reigned, so I got some water at a Shaw's and drove home.

But today I found it. What might it be? A used book store. Not a "rare-and-out-of-print-collect-books-here store, but an honest to goodness used fun-books-to-read bookstore.

I haven't been to a real used bookstore in a long time. I remember in 4th grade having to do a project where we opened and ran an imaginary business. I based mine on a used book store near my parents' house, I think it was called "Twice Read Consignment" or something of that sort. I don't remember learning much from that project, save how to spell "business." I do remember that bookstore though-it was near the big park. I didn't have any sense of book prices, however, as I was 9 and didn't pay attention to such things. My mom would buy me a book if I asked her to (she still will, as a matter of fact!), as we're a reading family and it's always encouraged. I'm guessing a good deal of my Babysitter's Club books were found there.

I've been really good about not buying books this year, only because I couldn't afford to do so. I joined the local library and have gone there when I was looking for a new read (as opposed to a reread). However, I stopped in Barnes and Noble yesterday to check out their clearance sale and was reminded of what I love in a book store. Looking around, reading covers, wondering what the insides hold...I usually just have to pick up a book, walk around with it for a while, and then I can put it back and walk out of the store. I didn't really have time for that yesterday, so I left feeling dissatisfied. I didn't want to spend a good deal of money on a book, as I just ordered most of my books for the fall semester, and spending another 20 bucks wasn't exactly something I should do.

But. I'm going on vacation this week. I don't want to take a library book because I'm going to the beach, and I'd rather not water damage public property. A cheap paperback would be perfect for this week, so that's what I looked for. Wal-Mart didn't really have anything good (lots of romance serials and Nicholas Sparks books *puke-o-rama*. Although I was pleased to see a smattering of more classical fare-The Lord of the Flies, Catcher in the Rye, Animal Farm, 1984, Of Mice and Men). I was going to have to search elsewhere.

Looking online, I found this "chain" of used bookstores in the region. They're not a chain, or even a franchise really. I think it's an association-locally owned used bookstores that join this group and can use the name.

Annie's Book Stop.

I went to the one in Grafton after my unsuccessful hunt yesterday and let me say-this place is great! It's small, but there was a large sign on the side of the road saying the book store was open (hooray!). It's a no-frills place-clean, bright, cheery, and shelves stuffed with books. About the size of my living room, or maybe a bit bigger. I walked in and the woman behind the counter greeted me. I started looking around and a fellow reading the paper int he back asked me if I'd ever been there before. I said no, he got up and gave me a personal tour of the store. That was definitely a nice touch.

I roamed about and finally selected 3 books-two John Irving novels (The Cider House Rules, which I've wanted to read for years, and A Prayer for Owen Meany, which I've read before but wanted to own and reread) and Bleak House by Dickens, who I happen to love. This store is 50% the publisher's price on used books. So an already under $10 paperback can be quite cheap! My books totaled $9.51. Three books for less than 3.25 a piece. AMAZING.

And quite possibly dangerous. I don't have space for more books, and school starts soon. However, I am a firm believer in night time reading-it allows me to decompress before going to sleep and think about fictional characters and things, instead of theological controversies concerning the nature of the Eucharist in the 1640s. While interesting, it's not the type of thing that helps me sleep well. Go figure.

So yeah. AND it's a locally owned place. I don't have any sort of moral or philosophical hang ups about chain stores, but it's nice to support local businesses when I can. And this is one I can definitely get behind.

Right. Well, I'm off to start reading one of my new books in the backyard. The only question is which one...

Scripture and Sermon

2010-07-14T21:30:00.002-04:00

At church this summer, we're doing a series of "instructed Eucharists" to explain why we do what we do in an Episcopal liturgy. Normally an instructed Eucharist happens all in one service (we did these when I was a kid...seemed to go on forever), but we've decided this summer to use each Sunday's homily to reflect on how the Gospel is preached in our liturgy. And, just so we don't overlook the Gospel lesson, we're including reflections in the bulletin for folks to read on the scripture readings for that particular Sunday.

Anyway, this past Sunday was the second in our series, and I was up to preach. The official topic was The Liturgy of the Word, but I point out that the entire liturgy could be considered as such, since Jesus is the Word. So, this sermon is specifically about the portion of our service when we hear lessons from the Bible and then on the sermon itself.

“Blessed Lord, who caused all holy Scriptures to be written for our learning: Grant us so to hear them, read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest them, that we may embrace and ever hold fast the blessed hope of everlasting life, which you have given us in our Savior Jesus Christ; who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
(Collect for Proper 28, BCP 236)

This week we embark upon the second in our series of sermons about different parts of the Eucharist. I think the official title of today is “Liturgy of the Word,” but to be more specific we’ll be looking at the scripture readings and the sermon—the wordiest part of the service, so to speak. I’ve been wondering for a while how to start this reflection, and then it occurred to me that there may be some questions about the basics-why do we have this number of readings? Who picks them out? So I thought we’d start with these to get a grasp of what we’re working with, and then move on to some reflections.

The Episcopal Church uses what is called a lectionary, or a set plan of readings. If you were to look in the back of the Book of Common Prayer (around page 888) you’d find “The Lectionary.” We actually don’t use this one anymore, but I’ll get to that in a moment. For now the one in the Prayer Book will work as an example as it functions in a similar way to the lectionary we use now. If you flip to page 889 you’ll see the heading “Year A.” Keep thumbing through and you’ll eventually encounter “Year B” and “Year C.” Our lectionary is on a 3-year cycle, so that every 3 years we’ve gone through basically the entire Bible. In 2006 the General Convention of the Episcopal Church required that all churches switch to the Revised Common Lectionary—one that is used by many Protestant denominations. This lectionary incorporates a greater diversity of readings from the Old Testament, as well as more material dealing with the witness of women in the Bible. During the season after Pentecost, commonly known as “Ordinary Time,” we actually have the option of 2 Old Testament readings—one “track” is thematically linked with the Gospel, while the other provides semi-continuous lessons from the Old Testament. The reflection printed in your bulletin is from the “continuous lesson” track.

So that’s how we pick our lessons—in other words, we don’t really. They’re already chosen for us, and we could look at the correct chart and see what lesson we’ll have on the first Sunday in Advent in, say, 2012. It’s all laid out for us. This has its merits—the lessons we hear on Sunday aren’t subject to the whims of the preacher—but it can also be hard. Sometimes the lectionary gives us a set of lessons that may not at first speak to where we are on that Sunday as a faith community. That challenges us to open our hearts to the Spirit a little more than we might usually do.

Another basic feature of this portion of our liturgy is that it involves a lot of Scripture. Episcopalians sometimes have a funny relationship with the Bible. For example, if I asked an Episcopalian to quote for me 1 Corinthians 11:23-26, chances are this person would look at me as if I had lost my mind. If, however, I asked said person to quote for me what we call the words of institution from our Prayer Book, chances are this person could easily do so. I’ll quote for you the Corinthians passage right now, just to drive this point home: “For I received from the Lord what I also handed on to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took a loaf of bread, 24and when he had given thanks, he broke it and said, ‘This is my body that is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.’ 25In the same way he took the cup also, after supper, saying, ‘This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.’ 26For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.” Sound familiar? There’s an old joke that says an Episcopalian heard someone reading the Bible, and wondered what that thing quoting the Book of Common Prayer was.

The point I’m trying to make is that even if we don’t know it, our worship is full of scripture. In fact, I’d venture to guess it’s mostly scripture. Not only are the words of the Prayer Book largely derived from the Bible, but we hear no less than 4 passages from the Bible every Sunday: a reading from the Old Testament, a Psalm or Canticle, a reading from the New Testament epistles (or Acts or Revelation), and finally a reading from the Gospels. That’s a lot of scripture! Probably more than most people hear at church on a Sunday. But what are we to do with all of these Words? They can be overwhelming at times—trying to sink our teeth into one reading can be difficult enough, much less into four. So why do we hear so much of the Bible every Sunday?

The answer is historical, as the practice of hearing this much scripture actually dates back to the fourth century. It was lost by the time of the Reformation, and it wasn’t until the liturgical renewal of the 20th century that the Episcopal Church regained this tradition. It used to be that there would be a reading from an epistle and a Gospel—the Old Testament was rather left out. But now it’s back, and we once more hear the Old Testament witness.

I’ve been thinking about this issue for a while—why do we hear so much Scripture, and what are we to do with it? It’s even a challenge for preachers to work with one text, much less four. I did some reading to try and help me with this question, and time and again came upon the same thing. We read the Bible because it is our story. As one of my favorite writers, Frederich Buechner puts it, “just because the Bible is a book about both the sublime and the unspeakable, it is a book also about life the way it really is. It is a book about people who at one and the same time can be both believing and unbelieving, innocent and guilty, crusaders and crooks, full of hope and full of despair. In other words, it is a book about us…One way or another, the story we find in the Bible is our own story” (Wishful Thinking, 9). Or, as George Herbert puts it when speaking of the Bible, “Such are thy secrets, which my life makes good,/ And comments on thee: for in ev’rything/Thy words do find me out, and parallels bring,/ And in another make me understood” (“The Holy Scriptures 2”).

The Bible has all things in it: it’s a story about people. Us. Think of the psalms: they go from joy at God’s creation, to hatred of our enemies, to feelings of abandonment and salvation. They’re all over the place. Or think of the characters in there: Moses, who stuttered and had to have his brother speak for him. Joseph’s betrayal and eventual reunion with his family. Job’s heartache and faith. Jonah’s indignation at God’s mercy, even after being in the belly of a whale. The youthful David turned old, followed by his sins. A teenage girl finding out she was pregnant before marrying her husband, and it wasn’t Joseph’s child, but the Lord. A poor fisherman named Peter who never seems to understand fully what he hears, but follows Christ to his own cross. The flip flop of Paul—from persecutor to proclaimer of the Good News. And Jesus—our salvation.

What’s more, the Bible isn’t just the story of us, it’s the story of how our story has everything to do with God. It’s a holy story—a story about God’s actions in the lives of so many. We say the Collect for Purity before we hear the scripture readings, asking God to “cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit”—we ask, in other words, to be opened to the Spirit before we hear these readings. And, as liturgical scholars Louis Weil and Charles Price note, because the Bible “is one of the means that God uses to give Godself to us continually…[i]n reading or hearing it, one may always expect an encounter with the ultimate. This experience of transcendence, of height, is an incomparable aspect of hearing and reading the Word of God in the Scripture” (Liturgy for Living 100). On Sunday mornings, we get the chance to hear these holy stories among holy people in this holy place.

After hearing all of those words, we then listen to more words in the sermon. In their book Liturgy for Living, Weil and Price point out that there are three forms of God’s Word encountered in the liturgy. There’s Jesus as the Word—the ultimate Word by which all other words are judged (this is why we could, to a certain extent, call our entire liturgy a Liturgy of the Word). There’s God’s Word in scripture. And then there’s the word of the preacher. Price and Weil write, “God continues to be shown forth in the words as well as in the deeds of human beings whom God commissions to act and speak” (94). In other words, the job of the preacher is to try and help us reflect on how God’s Word—both the Word of Jesus and the words of the Bible—function in our own lives. Very often, at least in my experience, the sermon is given as much to the preacher him/herself as it is to the congregation. This isn’t to say that every sermon is going to impact every single person every single week. If only. Rob recently likened sermons to getting a letter in the mail—it’s not a bill, it’s not a credit card application, it’s not the weekly coupon mailing—but a letter that is hand-addressed to you. I personally might be suspicious of such a letter, as no one but my grandfather and occasionally my mom actually writes those things, so I like to think of it as an email that’s not spam, or business, or a one-line communication about what time to meet a friend at the coffee shop tomorrow—but a long email written just for me from a friend with whom I haven’t spoken in a while. Or, to use another metaphor, the sermon is like someone trying to interpret a map we’ve been given. The symbols may be slightly out of date, but with some training and inspiration from the Holy Spirit, we can see how this map will guide us today in our lives as Christians.

One of the most interesting things I’ve read lately about scripture comes from Old Testament scholar Ellen Davis. In an essay about teaching the Bible in church, Davis—an Episcopalian who teaches at Duke Divinity School—notes that “teaching the Bible confessionally is not primarily a matter of conveying historical information…[but] means enabling people to wonder wisely and deeply. Wondering is the business of scholars and preachers, just as it is of Sunday School children” (“Teaching the Bible Confessionally in the Church,” The Art of Reading Scripture, 11). I would add, just as it is of every single person in the church. She then goes on to quote Garrett Green, another Old Testament scholar who has argued that “in many instances the biblical term ‘heart’ refers to what we call imagination” (11). I find that to be amazing—If we go back to the Collect for Purity, we ask the Holy Spirit to “Cleanse the thoughts of our hearts”—or our imaginations. And in the Eucharist we “lift up our hearts,” think about lifting up your imagination (both example taken from Davis’s essay). In the baptism service we pray that the person being baptized may be given an inquiring and discerning heart—what if that also means an inquiring and discerning imagination?

Preaching allows us to engage our imagining hearts in the work of the Spirit as we hear it in Scripture, and how that work is carried into our own lives. The Godly Play Sunday School curriculum uses the phrase “I wonder” as part of every class session. The teacher and children sit and literally wonder about the Bible story they’re hearing. I wonder how it felt to walk on water as Peter did? I wonder what it felt like to walk across the bottom of the Red Sea, with towering walls of water at your side? I wonder what Abraham thought when Sarah laughed at the news that she would bear a child? I wonder what Mary felt like when Jesus asked who his mother was? I wonder… This wondering opens up new doors into scripture.

The Word of God, in Jesus, in the scripture, in the sermon—is an essential part of our liturgy. It forms the core of all of the words we say when we come together and worship. It provides food for our imagining hearts. It tells our story, and reminds us that we always have been and always will be about God. Grant us, gracious Lord, to hear your Words, read, mark, learn, and inwardly digest them, and proclaim their Good News in all that we do. Amen."

Side note: The opening collect, from the Book of Common Prayer, is one I like. I can't help but think of the following passage from Revelation (there's a similar passage in Ezekiel 3:3, but the scroll tastes only of honey and doesn't turn sour):

"Then the voice that I had heard from heaven spoke to me again, saying, ‘Go, take the scroll that is open in the hand of the angel who is standing on the sea and on the land.’ So I went to the angel and told him to give me the little scroll; and he said to me, ‘Take it, and eat; it will be bitter to your stomach, but sweet as honey in your mouth.’ So I took the little scroll from the hand of the angel and ate it; it was sweet as honey in my mouth, but when I had eaten it, my stomach was made bitter. " Revelation 10:8-10

My boss called this "scriptural indigestion."

No Poo Deux

2010-07-09T15:23:00.002-04:00

I thought that I should update you all on my no poo experiment, as it's been about three weeks since I started. I'm not posting pictures, though, as I personally don't see much of a difference and the lighting's not good in here anyway. So, without further delays on my part, my thoughts thus far:

I haven't really noticed much of a change. I know that's slightly underwhelming for most of my adoring public, but there you have it. To be honest, I had to check the date of my previous blog post on this matter to remember when I'd even started this experiment-it's been that normal to me.

The good:
-I haven't had to buy hair products at all in the past few weeks. This makes my wallet (or R's wallet) happy. And my corner of the shower, as it's less crowded.
-My showers are uber short, which is not only great for time but also for water conservation (which is important at the moment as we haven't had rain in weeks-although we're not under a water restriction it still seems like a good thing to do). I only have to do the baking soda-vinegar wash a couple of times a week, so the lack of hair washing means shorter showers.
-I don't feel like I'm constantly washing my hair. If I take a shower in the morning and then work out in the evening and shower again afterward, I don't feel like I'm over shampooing or conditioning, because I'm just rinsing.
-My hair is less tangled. This was a huge surprise to me-for whatever reason I thought that by not conditioning my hair every day it would be a huge tangled mess. This however is not the case. In fact-it's the opposite! I have so few tangles. It's great!

The bad:
-I miss the good smells of my shampoo. I don't mind the smell of vinegar, but mint is nicer.
-When I get to the wash day, it's pretty obvious my hair needs to be washed (at least to me), but not in a horrific way, just a kind of "she should wash her hair" way. But it's not too bad.
-My wet hair doesn't feel as soft as it did when I was conditioning, but there you go.
-I can't figure out the washcloth thing. Am I supposed to do this when my hair is dry or wet? The tip was to "brush" your hair with a damp washcloth 100 times, but I don't know if that's wet or dry hair. I don't know if it even makes a different. So I haven't been doing it.

All in all it's not been too bad. Every now and then when I'm running I get a whiff of vinegar, but it's not very strong or anything. The baking soda/vinegar rinse has worked surprisingly well and I definitely notice a difference after I wash my hair with this stuff. I'll probably keep this up for now. The real test will be if I get my hair cut short in late August before school (I usually get my hair cut chin-length once a year before school starts--then it's long enough to pull back by the spring but is down in the winter to keep me warm). I don't know how the frizz has really compared because I don't wear my hair down in the summer. I guess I'll have to figure that out...

In the meantime, the garden continues to grow (we have several cucumbers and strawberries and tomatoes in the works!), the cats just turned one, and I'm getting more and more excited about school. I found the backpack I want (finally-after thinking of several I found an Osprey that looks like it will be perfect) and yeah. That's about it. It's summer. And we have beer to bottle soon. And the World Cup final is Sunday. Woohoo!

From the Interstates to the Highways

2010-06-29T22:33:00.002-04:00

I'm a big consumer of the country's interstate system...I think it's officially the Dwight D. Eisenhower Interstate System, recognizing that president's role in its creation. Regardless of its name, I've tended to use the interstate. Alot. Not only is it the most reasonable way to drive 1000 miles to Kentucky when visiting family, it's also one of the fastest ways for both R and I to get to work, albeit it in opposite directions. The tough part is that here in Massachusetts, the interstate we need to use has a toll on it in both directions. Incidentally, R and I both pay the same toll rate at different exits in different directions. But whatever.

The other day I was looking up some information on the automated toll system you can use (instead of paying cash you have a transponder and it automatically deducts from your account...and then deducts from your bank account when the balance gets low). Neither R nor I use this system, partially because we've never gotten around to getting the transponder, but I don't really like the idea of the state of Massachusetts taking money out of my bank account when the balance gets low...given my current financial situation (which plays into this post alot), that could have some overdraft consequences that I don't really want to think about.

What I found most interesting is that there is a state commuter tax deduction for those who use this transponder and commute to work, which both R and I do. As I was reading through the information on the deduction, I stopped and asked R how much he spends on tolls per year. He said about 550. Not five dollars and fifty cents, mind you, but five hundred and fifty dollars. I realized that by the end of this year I would have spent roughly the same. Whoa.

Let's do the math. My toll, if I take the interstate (which actually only takes me halfway to work, as the other half is on state highways), I pay 1.10 each way. If I'm going to UConn, it's .65 each way. Let's say I go to UConn 4 days a week, and Amherst 2...that comes to 9.60/week in tolls. Let's assume, for the sake of argument, that I make this drive 52 weeks a year (which takes into account the fact that during school vacation I'll probably head into Amherst more often, where the toll is higher), I'd be paying 499.20 in tolls. Per year. Or to put it in a monthly perspective, that's 38.40/month. I don't know about you all, but for me that's a huge impact on my budget. I'm sure once school starts the impact would be less huge, but regardless of how much it hurts to pay that amount (or not, if you have a lot of money), 38.40/month, or 499.20 a year is a huge amount of money! That's part of a vacation right there! Or lots of good beer! Or many other things!

With that in mind, I've decided to stop taking the MassPike as much as possible. I don't want to spend that money on road improvements I never see (I will hand it to the state of New York, though, when I had to drive through the thruway crazy snow to my grandmother's funeral, those roads were incredibly clear and well-maintained. I didn't feel bad paying the money then).

But then I got to thinking of the other benefits to staying off the interstate. I don't have to deal with crazy numbers of semis-this is especially great considering the time I was run off the road by a semi into the emergency lane during the rain. This doesn't mean they're not on the state highways (they are), but chances that they'll be passing me and such are much more slim. Also, Massachusetts is a beautiful state. The state highways to work take me through really gorgeous scenery, and I can breathe in the summer air and just think. Not to mention that going slower is better on gas. I felt less harried when I get to work having taken a state highway route this morning, and it was nice. I hate trucks passing me mostly because I don't have AC so all four windows are rolled down and the trucks are so loud I have to cover that ear when they pass. This isn't really a problem on the state roads. I also get to experience seeing all sorts of random places along the road, such as new ice cream stands or farms or trails. I wouldn't see these things on the interstate. Oh and in the summer, traffic on Sundays heading home from work is pretty awful, usually slowing down to a standstill at points due to all of the folks coming back from their summer homes or whatever. The state highways tend to be less clogged.

The downsides are there, to be sure. It takes a bit longer-about 25 minutes more each way, which turns into 50 minutes total. That's a pretty decent chunk of time, but it's time I can spend in prayer, or just thinking, or singing along to the music, and enjoying God's creation. I'm less likely to do that when I'm dealing with interstate traffic.

So yeah. I'm sure there will be times when it's hard not to take the interstate, or times when I can't avoid it (I'll likely take the state highway halfway to UConn and then pickup the non-toll interstate when it begins), but for the most part I'm going to try to make a conscientious effort to stick to the highways, and bypass the interstate.

It's more interesting anyway.

Strangers

2010-06-24T12:55:00.003-04:00

I've been thinking about strangers lately, in large part due to two recent experiences. The first involved my nephew. My sister, brother and I had taken B to the doctor for his 4 year check up, which included his various vaccinations and such as he's starting preschool in the fall (!!!). I have to admit it was a pretty fun to watch B interact with someone who's not family. I don't get to see this very often, and aside from the part where the nurse and my sister (who also happens to be a nurse) were holding B down so he'd actually get his shots, it was nice just to watch what happened. The doctor came in and started asking him questions, one of which was a series of questions about colors (I'm guessing to see if he's color blind), and other just general things. Then came the following conversation:

Doctor: If a stranger came up to you and wanted you to go with him, would you go?
B: (shakes his head no)
Doc: What if that stranger said he had some puppies to show you?
B: (shakes his head yes)
Doc: (Goes on to explain why we don't go with strangers even if they have puppies). So, would you go with the stranger who had puppies?
B: (shakes head no)
Doc: Good!

Now, to be fair, B just got a puppy for his birthday and puppies are pretty enticing. So that afternoon, while walking to the barber shop for a hair cut (for B), my brother and I talked with him about strangers and posed different scenarios-candy, puppies, etc.-and this time B had gotten the gist and said no every time.

That was experience one.

The second was on my way to work. The town in which I work tends to attract all sorts of folks, and I've found a much larger number of hitch hikers there than I would ever have expected. On the interstate heading in, I passed two women who looked to be about my age and a massive dog, with backpacks on hitchhiking down the interstate. I didn't stop. This struck me, though, because while you might see these folks on state highways around the town where I work, rarely does one see a couple of folks like this on the interstate (rarely do I see women hitchhiking at all, for that matter).

And it got me to thinking-where do we draw the line about strangers? These women needed a ride, and while I couldn't have fit all of them and their giant dog into my car, if I could have, would I have stopped? No. I wouldn't have. There are too many red flags that go up when I see a hitchhiker, regardless of who they are, all of which surround my own personal safety.

This in turn got me to thinking about the role of hospitality in our society, and how it compares to the role in earlier societies. In Jesus's time, for example, it was an essential part of the way things were. Or you could look at medieval England. Or any earlier place that didn't have our "modern conveniences" or whatever. Welcoming the stranger was essential to how society worked, and breaches of that hospitality (either on the part of the guest or host) were a huge deal.

So what would happen, I wonder, if Jesus were walking down the highway today? Do angels still function in the roles of hospitality in earlier times, or would they function in the ways we're more used to? If you could afford to put a stranger up in a hotel, would you do that or welcome them into your home? My guess is go for the hotel option. I'm not saying that in a judging way-I'd probably do the same thing-but there you go.

Sorry this post seems rather scattered. I haven't fully developed my thoughts on the matter, but I wanted to go ahead and write before I let them go away. And I have an allergy headache. And I need to do Welsh. And there's more World Cup football to watch.

So yeah. Hmm.

No Poo

2010-06-17T22:30:00.005-04:00

No poo. That's right. And I'm not talking about irregularities, as Maggie used to call that discussion at camp. I'm talking about redefining normal and getting rid of the shampoo. Here are my reasons:

1. Shampoo and conditioner are expensive, and it's money that's literally going down the drain.
2. These are full of chemicals that I would be putting on my skin. To find the stuff without chemicals you spend more money. Said money goes down the drain.
3. I try to work out every day, and usually do. However, I tend to sweat a lot when I work out and like to shower after said exercises. I felt like washing my hair twice a day was just too much-I didn't notice changes in my hair itself, but it just felt wrong.
4. In my reading up on this, I found out that shampoo wasn't really common until the early 20th century. That's right folks, it's only about 100 years old, and the shampoo most like what we use today didn't come around until 1930, meaning there are folks out there who predate shampoo.
5. Washing your hair strips it of natural oils. Then your body goes into overdrive to reproduce the oils that were taken out. So then your hair looks greasy and you wash it again.

This isn't some sort of crazy hippie routine (not that I have anything against crazy hippies). It's become more and more common from what I can tell. I tried making my own deodorant, but that didn't work out so well. I'm hoping to make my own laundry detergent once my current batch runs out. And I'm going to try the no poo routine now.

I've read what feels like a ton on this, and they pretty much seem to advocate similar methods, involving a baking soda wash for your scalp and an apple cider vinegar rinse for the rest of your hair (which you don't even have to do every day). Another method is to "comb" through your hair with a washcloth. I'm not sure how that works in a practical way, but it's supposed to spread the oils throughout your hair.

So I've started my experiment. I'll probably do the baking soda/vinegar thing tomorrow night, as I'm going to an ordination on Saturday and have church on Sunday (having a job that requires personal grooming skills and all), so we'll see how that turns out. I thought I'd include a few pictures in this post as well for your viewing pleasure.

Oh and apparently this is supposed to work even better on curly hair. I have curly hair that often turns frizzy, but this should get rid of the frizz (making me exponentially more likely to wear my hair down if it's less than 70 degrees outside) and maybe even make it curlier (a la what my hair looks like in the morning if I go to bed with it wet, i.e. fabulously curly until the frizz sets in). So here are the pics.

These are my materials. And no, I'm not washing my hair with ketchup (or catsup) and mustard, but I couldn't find clear bottles at the grocery store and forgot about the dollar store nearby until I'd already checked out. They were only 2.99 anyway. But I needed something to use for the baking soda wash and for the vinegar rinse. How much did this cost, you might ask? .99 for the baking soda (I splurged and got Arm & Hammer), 1.69 for the vinegar, and 2.99 for the bottles. That's it, folks. And this should last me for quite a while-longer than a .99 bottle of conditioner, that's for sure (considering that the ratio I've seen most often is only 1 tbsp of each to a cup of water). So this is what I have to start with.

Me in my glory. The shirt was tie dyed by R in college but he didn't like it. I think it's an amazing tie dye job and it's one of my favorite t shirts. It was in the Vanagon for a while as a spare until I came along and rescued it. But I digress...

This is me with my hair in it's usual longer state-up and in a pony tail because the frizziness makes me look like a triangle head and invites innumerable and infinite taunts from my brother and sister about it. So I throw it in a pony tail and get on with my day. I washed my hair yesterday morning, so I guess this is day 1 of no poo, with the hair up. I stuck my head in R's face and asked him to smell it. He said it smells like hair, so that's good. And I don't think it looks greasy, but I could be in denial. R had no comment on that one, so I'm suspicious...

And here's the hair down, having gone one day without shampoo. It's still a little damp from my shower earlier (I have really thick hair that some days never dries completely so this isn't a total surprise). Sorry the lighting's not better. I didn't even think to take these pics when it was still light outside, but I tried to get my desk lamp to shine on the hair so y'all could see it. It's definitely less frizzy and it feels a little dirty, but I think that's because I'm not used to not washing it. Anyway, here we go. This should be an adventure, but if it works (and I really hope it will) I imagine getting rid of shampoo will be so liberating!

These are a few of the many websites I looked at in this process, if you're interested:
One Green Generation (this is the website I found the homemade deodorant recipe on too)
This article in the Boston Phoenix
Naturally Curly (this one involves using conditioner and hair product, but I read it anyway)
Google (just search "no poo" and you're off!)

If any of you out there already do this and have tips, feel free to share! I'll keep y'all updated as this comes along.

I've been remiss...

2010-06-17T12:03:00.002-04:00

...about keeping this blog up to date. Sigh. One of these days I'll actually be good at this whole blogging thing, but in the mean time I thank you faithful readers who keep up with me anyway (namely, my Mom). I feel like I have lots to write about and nothing to write about at the same time...so we'll see how this goes. I'm going to save my garden for another post, hopefully one that I'll get up this afternoon (I want to take a few pictures of the garden today before I do that post though). So maybe we'll have 2 posts in one day!

Anyway here are a few random musings from my direction:

1. I realized that I never updated you all on the homemade deodorant campaign. It was a complete flop. The baking soda/cornstarch mix did keep the smell at bay, but it didn't last as long as my Tom's does and, to make matters worse, it dried out my underarms and made them irritated on top of the initial irritation. So I went back to my Tom's the minute I retrieved it from my office. I still haven't been able to find it in stores anymore (it seems to have been replaced by a roll on) but I'm going to Maine on Saturday for a friend's ordination and plan on stopping by the factory outlet store and stocking up on deodorant and toothpaste. Woot.

2. Medieval Welsh. I think I may have mentioned somewhere that I'm taking a medieval welsh reading course this summer. Well, it's not so much of a course as it is a bunch of people getting together to translate. It's going pretty well so far (I think). It involves lots of flipping through the vocabulary section, but such is life. It's also been a good way to get to know some people in the UConn community before school actually starts. I'm the only student in there who's straight up history (although my advisor is in the group as well), but still. Meeting people is good.

3. R and I got season passes to Six Flags. It's not too far from church and it's our entertainment budget for the summer. We've only been able to make it once so far, but we plan on going again this Sunday. It's not a huge theme park, but it's not bad. And for 50 bucks each we can go anytime we want through the end of October, so that's all good.

4. I'm currently starting some summer reading that's more school-oriented. There are a few books I'd like to get through before class starts, and on top of that I'm experimenting with a new way to read, so to speak. When I take generals in 2 years I don't want to have to reread everything, so I'm taking notes on each chapter as I read. It's more time consuming but I think it will pay off in the end when I'm researching for the orals and for the dissertation. This way I'll know where to flip when I need particular information. The only downside is that I have to have my computer with me when I'm reading (I can take the notes by hand but that's even more time consuming). This method is similar to what I did in the fall while I was applying to programs-I'd read books by the folks with whom I wanted to study and take notes along the way. So we'll see how this goes.

5. I'm seriously considering going "no poo," which is the short term for not using shampoo. The more I read about the chemicals in that stuff, the more ridiculous it seems to me that we put it on our scalp, mere inches away from our brains. Not to mention that cosmetics are expensive. The no poo method will take a little getting used to and experimentation (some folks use a baking soda wash and apple cider vinegar rinse, others use nothing), but I'll keep everyone updated. It seems that it works best for the folks with curly hair, so there's a win! I just hope it doesn't look overly greasy, particularly for church on Sunday. I have to look presentable and all that...but it would be great not to have the extra expense of shampoo. And apparently when you stop using it and your hair has started to reproduce the natural oils that protect it, you have softer hair that's less frizzy (oh I can't wait!). So woot. Not to mention that people didn't actually start shampooing their hair until the 20th century. Before that it was just rinsing.

It sounds weird, I realize, but I did find a phrase that captured this for me. It's called "redefining normal." Today, not using shampoo is not normal because that's what society tells us is not normal (even though it didn't become normal until the early 20th century). So I just have to redefine my own normal and off we go.

6. R and I went to a local farm last Saturday and picked some strawberries, as well as bought some veggies. I swear these are the best strawberries I've ever had-absolutely amazing! I hope the ones in our garden bear fruit, literally. I hope next summer we can do CSA at a local farm. I think the cost ends up being about the same in basic how much we spend terms, but the environmental cost is so much lower that if we can afford it, I hope we can do it. That will have to wait until next year though.

OK well, that's enough randomness for now. I'll get some pics of the garden and update you all on that later, especially as we've tried something new this year (well, a couple of new things).

The Grand Canyon and Other Things

2010-05-27T14:27:00.004-04:00

These are just a couple of pictures from my recent trip to the Grand Canyon with Team in Training. It was an amazing experience--one that I can't fully put in to words. The hike was awesome-having done it I can't imagine visiting the Grand Canyon and not going below the rim, but people do it. 99% of visitors do that, as a matter of fact. So there you go. Oh and there are no color filters on these pictures-I just snapped and went. So the blues really are that blue, etc.

In other news, I'm taking Middle Welsh this summer. It's a reading group of some students and professors at UConn, and my advisor emailed asking if I'd like to join in. So I figured, why not? It's a chance to meet some new people and get my head in the game for the fall. This last Monday was the first meeting, and it went pretty well on my end, I though. The main hang-up is that most everyone there, from what I can tell, has had some sort of Irish and they keep comparing the Welsh to that. This is all fine and dandy, but as I haven't had Irish I end up tuning out a bit on those points.

R and I worked on the garden last weekend. I'm hoping to upload some photos of that at a later date. We're doing raised bed gardening this year, and he and I built the beds together. It was a lot of fun. Unfortunately, I got poison ivy YET AGAIN. I don't know why they don't call it Satan's weed, as that's what it is. It's all over my arms and my face this time. Ugh. And I got some sort of crazy bug bite-infection thing that requires 10 days of antibiotics. Ugh again.

Oh well. Gizmo just fell on an old flourescent light in the office in a place he can get in but not out. He was freaking out, but luckily he's ok and I'm ok and everything's cleaned up. Woot.

That's all for now. I've got to preach Trinity Sunday, so I need to solidify my thoughts about this one. And do some Welsh. And try not to scratch.

Awesome. Awesome to the Max.

2010-05-08T10:31:00.001-04:00

I don't usually cry at news articles. I'll cry at movies no problem, and usually cry at books as well (I'm a huge cry-baby, it's just that most people don't know it). But this article had me all misty-eyed. People are amazing. Read it and weep. Literally.

Pardon the Smell...

2010-05-06T17:05:00.002-04:00

I'm a sweat-er. No, not a warm woolly jumper, but a person who sweats. Part of it may be that I grew up in a humid climate where the summer weather report is consistently "hazy, hot, and humid." Part of it is also that I'm just made that way. Sweaty Betty, as my brother likes to say. There was a time when this might have embarrassed me, and I'll admit that I avoid certain color long sleeve Oxford button downs because I know it will be apparent I'm sweating, but for the most part I'm over it. Whatever. It's how God made me, and that's that.

Anti-perspirant would seem to be the obvious answer to sweating, and from about ages 12-21 that's what I used. I found out later my brother and dad couldn't use it because they're allergic, but I never had a problem, until my senior year of college. I broke out under my arms and it suuuccckkked. It's bad enough having a rash anywhere, but under your arms is ridiculously painful and annoying. Knowing the men in my family were allergic to anti-perspirants, I figured the same was true for me. I looked for women's plain deodorant, and it was impossible to find! I'm not sure what companies even make it. I did wear men's deoderant for a while (Speed Stick, usually), but to be honest I don't like walking around smelling like a man. The first time I said this to R, his response was "What, you don't like smelling like sweat and engine oil?" Ha. No dear, I don't.

Anyway I switched to Tom's of Maine. Then Tom's changed their formula to this long lasting protection thing, so I switched to Arm and Hammer, which caused me to break out as well. Then I found Tom's sensitive skin deodorant, and that has been my solution thus far. However, I'm finding it increasingly hard to find (for example, the Tom's website says that my local Target carries it-which they usually have in the past-but when I stopped by today it's been replaced by the new Tom's roll-on deodorants). I hate that it's harder to find, because the stuff really works for me. I broke out last summer before the wedding (about a month before-luckily it was gone by wedding time!) because I couldn't find it. And like a doofus, I left my workout bag at work last night, in which I had put my brush and deodorant, not realizing until I got home that it was in my office (1.5 hours away) and not in my car, so I didn't have it at home. I had an old stick of Tom's I'd never used, but it was the long lasting stuff. I put it on, not wanting to be smelly, and within 10 minutes it was burning. LAME. As I won't be in the office again until Sunday, I went to Target to look for some more, and well, I just talked about that.

So. What to do? I could order it online, or make a trip 2 hours north to the outlet store in Maine. It may end up coming to that, but it's not cheap. Running around 4.50 a stick, buying in bulk isn't really an option. My solution? I'm going to enter the world of make your own deodorant. I've found one simple recipe that's 1 part baking soda to 6 parts corn starch, and I'm going to start with that. I've recently developed a sensitivity to some natural fragrances (like lavender, which is too bad because I love the smell of lavender! The Trader Joe's laundry detergent made my clothes smell sooooo good. Oh well), and have been using unscented Tom's for a while, so I'm not worried about the lack of fragrance. Besides, no one's sticking their nose in my armpit so there's nothing to worry about that. I'll let you know how it goes. If it works, this will be awesome, as baking soda and corn starch are super cheap and super natural-not containing the crazy chemicals in so many deodorants.

I'm also contemplating making my own shampoo. I'm just tired of paying so much for something that literally goes down the drain. So far I haven't found anything that seems like it will work on thick, curly hair. If you know of anything good, point me in that direction!

In the mean time, pardon me if I smell a little funny. I'm trying to figure this whole home-made thing out...

9 Months Later.

2010-04-24T08:47:00.013-04:00

No, I'm not talking about a pregnancy. And no, I'm not talking about 9 months since our wedding, although that was 9 months ago, which is hard to believe. I'm talking about our kittens. I was scrolling through some old blog posts recently, and came upon these two pictures:

I found the post particularly funny because in the comments, my mom pointed out how big they had gotten. I agreed, noting they were twice as big as they had been after their first vet appointment. Talk about perspective, though, as the kittens look much more like cats now. R was home recently and has a better sense of their size relative to full grown cats (his parents have two), but I keep looking at our little ones and realizing they've gotten so big! Case in point:

This is our "little" kitten Leela. I only call her little because she's so much smaller than her brother, Gizmo. Sometimes I wonder if she was the runt of the litter or if it's just that she's female and is therefore smaller. Personality-wise, she's much the same as she was as a small kitten, with a few surprises. She still doesn't like to be picked up and held, usually only standing such treatment for mere seconds before she vaults out of your arms and runs off. She's also much more of a hunter than Gizmo, who still attacks his toys right away while Leela waits and watches before going in. She's the acrobat of the two-we got a new weight machine recently and Leela climbs to the top "with the greatest of ease," seeming to pay no mind to the fact that she's eight feet in the air and balancing on a wire. I'm telling you, this kitten has a pair! She's fearless-turn on the vacuum and she still doesn't run off. I was cleaning house a couple of weeks ago and was cleaning the floor after having vacuumed. Gizmo was hiding under my desk for the entire morning, while Leela came to see what was going on in the cleaning department.

The big surprise with Leela, at least for me, is how much of a cuddlebug she is. This wasn't the case when she was smaller-she would often be off doing her own thing and maybe come sit with us, but Giz was the one doing all of the purring and snuggling. I'm not sure when this happened, but now Leela is the cat more likely to come snuggle-she's particularly fond of sitting on my lap (or R's) when we're watching TV and falling asleep. It's the sweetest thing (well, that and her yawns and stretches). She's also the shedder of the two. I expected Gizmo to be the one shedding hair everywhere, but it turns out I was wrong. No matter how many times I brush my girl, she always has several brushes full of hair to offer.

The biggest surprise, however, has been her recent decision to start rolling over on her back. I didn't know this, but R tells me that when cats do this it's a sign of trust. Leela has often been the "kneader" of the two-coming up to me when I'm lying on the couch reading and kneading my stomach while she purrs. I read online this is something kittens do with their mothers, so I guess that's good. But turning on their backs is supposed to be a big sign of trust, because it puts the cat in a completely vulnerable position. Gizmo has always been ok with this-I have pictures of the day we brought him home when I've got him lying on his back on my lap while I scratched his belly. He's recently started doing this funny flip-turn-upside-down thing and lying on his back while curling into an apostrophe for me to scratch his belly. But Leela has never let us do anything like this-when I hold her, it's never on her back. She hates that. But in the past couple of weeks she's started coming over to me on the couch, lying on her back, and waiting for tummy scratches. It makes my heart melt, for serious. The picture above is from one such tummy session (you can also kind of see the white patch on her stomach that she and her brother share). I would never have expected Leela to come and lay down for some tummy rubs, but she's full of surprises. She's the sweetie of the two.

Then there's our handsome boy Gizmo, who has started sitting like this lately. I guess it's a boy cat thing, but I think it's absolutely hilarious. I think he's actually much more similar to his little kitten self than his sister. He's very want-y, as R likes to put it (that's a reference to The Tick, for those who don't know). He's often found sitting by my side, jumping up and nipping at my elbow because he wants attention. This would be a whole lot cuter if his teeth weren't so sharp! He's also the loudest cat I've ever known-he still purrs often and loudly (again, Diesel would have been a good name). You just have to say his name and he's off. I guess this is a good thing, because it means he's happy. He's also a meow-er. Leela just chirps-I think I've only heard her meow once. But Gizmo will meow all of the time-and not at birds or things he sees outside of the window, but at his people. If I get home from work and go in the bedroom (where the kittens are not allowed), he'll sit outside of the door and meow until I come out to keep him company. He's also taken to meowing around 5:30 in the evenings, which is a full hour before they get their dinner. R thinks he picked this up from his parents' male cat, and Gizmo seems to think that being annoying for an hour is going to get him fed sooner. I don't know if he'll ever figure out that this method is not going to work. Probably not, but hope springs eternal, as the saying goes (in this case for Giz, that he'll get fed earlier, for me that he'll stop nipping at my elbows and crying for food for an hour). What's especially funny about his food begging is that he still has dry food in his bowl. We give them wet food in the evening, and so it's not that he's hungry really, just that he wants the good stuff.

The big change with Gizmo is that lately he's taken to snuggling with us less when we're watching TV or just sitting in the living room. He's content to be in the same room and sitting close by, he just doesn't necessarily want to be a lap cat. He'll literally follow R around when he gets home, and when R goes into his office to do some work, Gizmo will curl up on the floor and just sit near him. He's also extremely fond of a shoebox that sits in front of the window in the office, and I'll pull up the shade for the kittens to look out. Gizmo will curl up and sleep on the box. It's friggin' adorable (he's doing it right now, actually!).

They're both window cats. Leela has torn off bits of one of the blinds where they've gotten in her way. We'll replace those eventually, but she'll probably just tear them up again. They don't snuggle together as much anymore, but R thinks this is teenage angst and they'll go back to it (right now when they're in the bed together they start wrestling).

They're great pets, and we're both smitten with them. I've found myself at times really looking forward to getting home so that I can sit on the couch, read, and hang out with the kittens. They love it when I play the Wii, although Leela always tries to sit on my lap at those moments, which is particularly awkward when trying to wield a light saber. But such is life.

Anyway I just thought I'd post an update on our babies. They're awesome and hilarious and cute. Now it's time to do car/yard/house work before the rain sets in for several days.

Movie Review: The Young Victoria

2010-04-23T18:19:00.005-04:00

I'm a sucker for a few things in life, one of which is romance and the other is history as its presented in popular culture. For example, I once wrote a paper examining the historicity of "The Archbishop" episode of Blackadder. Needless to say, it was a fun paper to write (and it got an A). I'm tickled when I watch The Tudors. So when I found myself walking past Redbox today at the grocery store and seeing that The Young Victoria was out on DVD, I jumped at the chance to see it (I had wanted to see it in theaters in the fall, but never got the chance). Knowing that R would most likely not want to watch this movie, Friday afternoon seemed like the perfect time to delve into the past.

I should be up front and say, however, that I haven't studied too much of Victorian Britain. My study of British history goes until about 1689--I can go to 1700 if you push it, but after that I'm lost. Between Henry VIII and James II I can rattle off monarchs and their reigns, etc., but before and after that things get a little hairy for me. Such is specialization. I was interested in seeing this movie, though, because I don't know much about Victoria and what little I do know involves her deep love for Prince Albert. Indeed, my popular culture knowledge of Victoria and Albert has been limited to their portrayal by Jim Broadbent (who, incidentally, portrays William IV in The Young Victoria) and Miriam Margolyes as Queen Victoria (another interesting tidbit-Miranda Richardson who plays Queenie in Blackadder Season 2 is the Duchess of Kent in The Young Victoria). So what did I think?

I loved this movie. I found it engaging and visually stunning (and I don't usually get excited about walking around old Victorian houses to look at couches). I think most folks think of Victoria as an older woman dressed in black, and of a society steeped in the Victorian "morality code," so to speak. This movie shows Victoria as a young woman as she steps into her role as Queen of England. The "bad guy" of the movie, John Clayborn, is made out to be positively evil. I mean, I really loathed this guy as I watched the movie, and he never does anything to redeem himself. The mother (Miranda Richardson) shows a more complex figure, one who seems to be in the pocket of Clayborn but at other times looks for reconciliation with her daughter. The Baroness and Victoria's relationship with her could, I think, have been brought out more, particularly as her eventual dismissal is a pivotal point in the early marriage of Victoria and Albert. What's very intriguing about Victoria in this movie, now that I think about it, is her isolation. We see her growing relationship with Albert, but she has no friends to speak of.
The story of the love between Albert and Victoria serves as the focal point of the film and is so beautiful. I had a smile on my face every time they were together. Rupert Friend and Emily Blunt did an amazing job portraying the young couple, and I was entranced as I watched the independent, headstrong young queen fall for the soft spoken prince.

The only real downside I found to the movie was a slight emptiness after the wedding. We do see the couple start to figure out how this marriage thing is going to work, but at that point there's only about 20 minutes left in the movie and I was left wondering where they were going to go. I think this movie could have done with another 30 minutes or more of post-wedding development. Then we could see how Albert figured out what his role would be, and how they emerged as the power couple they would be. Apparently the assassination attempt at the end is historically inaccurate, but as I didn't really know about it beforehand that didn't bother me too much. I guess now that I know, I would prefer that it had been more truthful but I'm not going to raise a stink about it.

One hint: read the Wikipedia entry for Victoria (or some other easy access short overview of her) before watching the movie. I paused a couple of times to read through the entry so that I would know who was who. Maybe that's just because I'm an American so I don't have all of this royalty business figured out (for example, Victoria was heiress to the crown after her uncle William IV, as opposed to her father). It helped me just get a general overview of things so that I could focus on the story.

Overall? Watch it if you love history, or if you love love stories (or both). It's a great film and definitely worth your time. The score is also wonderful-any excuse to listen to Handel's Zadok the Priest several times is a good one in my opinion!

Resurrectional Realities

2010-04-22T22:30:00.002-04:00

I was finally able to figure out how to cut and paste from Word into the blog (I used to be able to do it, and then something changed to prevent me from doing so. Tip: if you're a Mac user and want to cut and paste from Word, paste into the "Edit HTML" option on your dashboard and that should solve the problem). So here's my sermon from this past Sunday. Revised Common Lectionary Year C, Easter 3.

“God of Glory, by the raising of your Son you have broken the chains of death and hell; fill your Church with faith and hope; for a new day has dawned and the way of life stands open in our Saviour Jesus Christ. Amen.” Common Worship collect for Easter Day

Things were definitely different. This is the feeling I get when reading today’s Gospel lesson from John. Things were different—but how different was still to be figured out. In the resurrection appearances from Jesus that John describes, we get curious details about time that I hadn’t really noticed before these past few weeks. Jesus’s first appearance is to Mary Magdalene “early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark” (20:1). He then appears to the disciples “when it was evening on that day, the first day of the week” (20:19). As we heard last week, Thomas isn’t around and when he comes back to the group and they tell him Jesus has shown up, he won’t believe them. Then we are told “A week later the disciples were again in the house” (20:26). And finally, today we begin the Gospel reading with “After these things Jesus showed himself again to the disciples by the Sea of Tiberias” (also known as the Sea of Galilee) (21:1).

So we have a full day between when Mary sees Jesus and when the disciples see him, a full week after that before Thomas sees Jesus (a week in which we assume the disciples were still in Jerusalem), and then “after these things,” an unknown amount of time when the disciples returned to Galilee. If you look at a map of the area, you would see that Bethsaida (where Peter, Andrew, and Philip were from) is not close to Jerusalem—in the geography of John’s Gospel, Jerusalem is about as far south as Jesus goes, while Bethsaida is about as far north. We’re encompassing the whole area Jesus travels in this Gospel by going from Jerusalem to Galilee. If we go back to the beginning of John’s Gospel, we find that the disciples were from areas around the Sea of Galilee (1:44). This means that at some point they decided it was time to return home.

I’m fascinated by these gaps in time—the gospel writer felt it was important to record them, yet we have no idea what goes on during these breaks. When Jesus was around, I imagine they were spending time with their teacher, learning and praying and talking and doing a lot of walking. But after Jesus’s horrific death and wondrous resurrection, the conversation must have changed. However, Jesus wasn’t around for these gaps in time—the details in the story come when Jesus is interacting with his disciples, and then he disappears again and we get the time gaps.

Here’s the question I’ve been pondering: what made the disciples decide it was time to go back to Galilee? They knew Jesus was resurrected—Thomas even believed by this point in time. We don’t have a record of Jesus telling the disciples to go home. At the end of last week’s reading, we get a short message from Jesus: “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe” and then the gospel writer tells us “Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book” (20:29-30). So maybe he did tell them to go home, but my guess is that this was a decision the disciples came to on their own.

Most likely they weren’t really sure what else to do so they went home—but they continued to stay together as a group. Peter decides to go fishing—a fairly normal activity, it seems, even though John’s gospel never actually calls the disciples fishermen. They know enough, though, to go fishing at night, which I found out was actually the best time to fish on that part of the Sea of Galilee. They don’t have much luck, until Jesus shows up. New Testament scholar Raymond Brown points out that the disciples never catch a fish in the Gospels without Jesus’s help. Apparently some things have stayed the same.

So here are these disciples who know that Jesus is resurrected, yet they don’t know what to do with that information so they go back home and take up a normal activity. I’m not sure if they knew Jesus was even going to show up again, as Peter is extremely excited when they figure out it’s Jesus on the shore, and he swims 100 yards in to see him. And, as our collect for today says, Jesus makes himself known in the breaking of bread—in sharing a meal, which is something the disciples did quite often with their teacher.

All of this seems to be building up to something, but what? I’d never thought about it before, but there’s a real sense of being lost on the part of the disciples. They have no idea how life as we know it has changed now that Jesus is resurrected. Everything looks the same, tastes the same, sounds the same, and maybe even feels the same. But the fundamental underpinning of life—namely, death—had been completely overturned. Jesus defeated death. Death does not have the ultimate hold on our lives anymore. But what does this even mean?

We begin to get a glimpse of what it might mean for us in Jesus’s conversation with Peter. This is the only one-on-one conversation we get between these two in John after Peter’s denial of Christ. Jesus approaches Peter and calls him “Simon, son of John,” the exact same title he used when meeting Peter for the first time. Raymond Brown says this return to a formal address signals a possible challenge to the friendship between Jesus and Peter. And then Jesus goes a step further—he says Peter, do you love me? I can only imagine the incredible pain, sadness, and longing that took over this apostle as the one he denied looks him in the face and says, “do you love me?” This is the point of Peter’s deepest shame. His past actions would make the answer seem that it was no. He claimed he would lay down his life for Jesus and would follow him, and when the moment to do so came, he turned away and denied him (13:36-38). And now Jesus has to bring it back up again—there’s no “forgive and forget” here. To make things even worse Jesus asks the question three times, not only mirroring the three denials of Peter but also frustrating Peter as he tries to make Jesus know that he does indeed love him.

This conversation can show us how the resurrection changes everything in our lives. Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams writes in his book, Resurrection: Interpreting the Easter Gospel, about how our normal interactions are based on the relationship of oppressor and oppressed. For all of us, we are a complex mix of people who oppress others and people who are oppressed by others and ourselves. This model of persecutor/victim or oppressor/oppressed is with us from the very beginning—before we even have a chance to understand it fully. There has only been one pure victim in history, one person who could make the choice to oppress and did not, one victim who fully understood the system—one who was not an oppressor but was only oppressed. That person is Jesus. In the conversation with Peter, we see the pure victim facing one of his closest friends, and one who oppressed him through denial. Peter is ashamed, and understandably so. I’m ashamed of myself when I hurt my friends and family—the thought of having to face that shame with Christ is almost agonizing. The reason for this is that I’m stuck in that idea of oppressor/oppressed. I’m functioning in an out-dated model, because the resurrection allows us to transcend the victim/persecutor relationship! It has been completely transformed. This does not mean that we “forgive and forget.” Rather, Williams writes that the transformation of our relationships is built upon our histories—even those that involve oppression, shame, and guilt (12). The real beauty of this is that our pasts and presents are not final. They are not the last word. The resurrection-JESUS-is the last Word!

Let’s think about this for a moment. Peter is the oppressor, and in today’s Gospel we see him speaking with Jesus one-on-one after his Resurrection. He faces his victim head on as Jesus ask,s “do you love me?” Peter is upset; Jesus has brought up the lowest thing he’s ever done, the most violent oppression he’s likely ever committed, and Peter has to answer. He doesn’t know how the resurrection has changed everything yet, and is stuck in the model of victim/persecutor, and all that comes with those relationships. Will Jesus be angry? Get even? Judge him? Berate him? But the resurrection transcends all of that—Jesus builds from Peter’s past and opens a place for the Gospel to take hold. What I find even more marvelous about this is that it’s not a one and done thing—it’s a process. “Feed.” “Tend.” “Follow.” These are verbs requiring continuous action.

The resurrection is for us a transformative process as it was for Peter, and as we heard today it would be for Paul as well. Jesus’s defeat of death in the resurrection changed everything about human existence—we are no longer tied to relationships based on oppression and a desperate struggle for life. Rather, we can transcend that and recognize the face of the risen Christ in one another and treat each other as such. We don’t have to fight against death anymore-Jesus already did that and won. We are called, instead, to live out a resurrectional reality in which we uphold Christ in one another, and overcome the bonds of this world that seek to drag us down, instead recognizing our bonds as brothers and sisters in Christ. This is part of the reason we renew our baptismal vows at the Great Vigil of Easter—to remind us that in the resurrection of Jesus “we are sealed by the Holy Spirit in baptism and marked as Christ’s own forever,” and what that commitment means. That mark that is put on our foreheads in baptism is something that no one can take away—even those with whom we disagree deeply. The mark of baptism overcomes our human fickleness, anxieties, and jealousies, and instead is a mark of the resurrection. We are sealed as people of the resurrection. The challenge for us now is to live that way. For Peter and Paul, their resurrectional realities would take them throughout the Mediterranean world, proclaiming the Good News. Where will it take us?

Fail is a Four Letter Word.

2010-04-15T15:42:00.005-04:00

Part of the (almost) daily adventure of my life is my commute. It's not something I particularly enjoy-56 miles in the car, or 1 hour 15 minutes depending on traffic, each way can get pretty old pretty fast. Some days the commute seems shorter than others, but it's part of my life and I try not to complain too much about it. The negatives to it are pretty huge: leaving a big carbon footprint, using tons of fuel, time spent driving when it could be spent doing more useful or exciting things... But the positives are pretty huge to: most importantly, a job (it's the closest I could find) at a place I love with people who are really great, having a house, and enforced time to sit and think or pray, which I would otherwise fill with reading, memorizing vocab, or any number of other things I "have" to get done. My daily drive is often a time when I can just think through things or notice the changing seasons or just talk to God. That's a plus.

But part of what comes with driving is the safety issue. R is a great car guy-he takes cars that just don't work anymore and makes them run beautifully. He got my car, Jack Sparrow, last summer for under 200 dollars. It had been sitting in some guy's garage for five years, but it's relatively rust free (which is huge in New England) and it runs well and I like it. So win-win. When he got the car driving again, he noticed a road noise that wasn't going on in his Subaru, or in the one I owned at the time. This was unique to this car. But it wasn't messing with the driving ability of the vehicle at all, so we both assumed it was the tires being slightly out of round from sitting for so long (although I think R did think it could be a suspension issue as well).

The tire-noise relationship was pretty much confirmed when I switched out the all-weathers for snow tires in December and the noise went away. Then in March I put the all-weathers back on, with the former rear tires going in the front, as you're supposed to do on Subaru's (some other cars involve changing sides too, but not on these cars). Well, the road noise was back and accompanied by a steering wheel jerking that I hadn't noticed in the fall. It had been getting progressively worse, in my mind, but I thought I was just being paranoid.

Until Sunday.

I was driving down the Mass Pike with R in the passenger seat on my way to work. It was about 7:30 in the morning (I like to get there before I have to teach Sunday School so I can collect myself) and traffic was thus pretty light, as it usually is on Sunday mornings. Driving in the right lane at about 65 mph all of a sudden we hear a loud pop, the front passenger side of the car lowers, R says "stop stop stop!" as I quickly pull into the emergency lane and come to a stop (this is the second time I've had to make an insane yet wonderfully executed emergency stop like this, the first time having been with R again in the passenger seat on the way home from work in the dark and rain when a huge truck ran me off the highway because he doesn't know how to check his mirrors...that was scary).

Here comes my favorite part of the whole event: R gets out of the car looks down and says "yep, looks like we lost the front wheel." I'm thinking to myself "holy sh$%! the whole front wheel? Wouldn't there have been sparks and flames or something?" Obviously he just meant the tire. The picture at the top is the epic fail blowout I had. There was a hunk of tire that fell off on the side of the highway and the steel band was broken and sticking out. I mean, this wasn't just a little blowout. It was huge. The tire was mangled like I've never seen a mangled tire before. Crazy.

Now, to be fair I could have handled all of this on my own just fine. I've known how to change a tire since I was a teenager and have done it often enough (for example, I change out my own all weathers to snow tires and vice-versa every year), so this wouldn't have been a big deal. But it would have been messy, and as I was in a skirt and clerical shirt (no collar though, as it was at the office) and still had to go do services at 10:30, R was very dashing and did all of the tire changing for me so I wouldn't have to get dirty. A state trooper pulled over and after making sure we were alright parked behind us so folks would get out of the right lane, as there's a slow done-change lane law in MA when there's an emergency vehicle (although after this experience I think it should be for all breakdowns, as there were some folks cutting it a little close, I felt, and we were obviously changing a tire).

Then we drove to the next plaza, which was only a mile away, R washed his hands, and we were off to work. He then went and got me four new tires, as we didn't know how old the rear two were, and it made sense to replace all four. R tells me that the steel band had broken sometime when the former owner had it, and that was the road noise. It got worse when the tires were put on the front, and finally gave out on Sunday-hence the huge bits of steel hanging out of the dead tire.

Needless to say, it wasn't a suspension issue. Thank God for light Sunday morning traffic. Thank God for driving in the right lane. Thank God for brakes that work. But most of all, Thank God for our safety. For serious, yo.

The other "epic fail" of the last week is my poison ivy. I wasn't allergic to this stuff as a kid, but somehow developed a sensitivity in the past few years. October 2008 I had a short bout with the stuff, and ended up having to get a steroid cream when it spread from my right wrist to my stomach. This time it went left ankle-left heel-right wrist-stomach-left ankle. Insane. And I can't figure out where it is-I know it's in the backyard, but as I've only gotten it in the fall and spring I think it's when it's either coming up (and therefore I'm not likely to see it immediately when doing yard work) or wilted (in which case I also wouldn't notice it), but either way the oils are still active and pesky. This time, after hoping for a week it would just go away but watching it spread, I had to get the oral prednisone to help out. I read online that poison ivy takes it out of you, but I didn't believe it. Now I do-at the doctor's office my blood pressure was a little high, and every time I've tried to work out this week it's been kind of tough. I seriously think it's the combo of the poison ivy all over me and the meds. Lame-o-la. But hopefully it will all be gone by the weekend (it seems to be clearing up already. Knock on wood).

In summary: tire blowout=fail. Poison ivy=fail.

Woot.

2010-04-13T11:08:00.000-04:00

Oops

2010-04-05T18:12:00.002-04:00

So much for that "blogging several times a week thing," eh? Oh well. C'est la vie. And la vie has been quite busy for the past month. Where to begin? At some random point I guess. So I'll just categorize things as I go along:

Work: This is the main reason I've been out of the blogsphere for a while. No one warned me that while Lent is supposed to be a reflective, slower time for folks, it's insanity for those working in the church. There were several weeks when I saw R but a couple of times, and then it was to eat a late dinner and then call it a night. It was hectic, to say the least. But good-our "family" Lenten discipline was to stop going out to eat, aside from Sundays (which are feast days anyway so Lent doesn't really hold those days) when we eat lunch near church as otherwise we wouldn't eat until 3 PM, and I'm usually starving by the time we leave church. R looked as the finances and said we actually saved a bundle o' money through this discipline. Our plan is to keep it up, to a certain extent-we plan on going out for a date night once a month, but other than that chilling at home. This has been helped by the fact that we're now making our own pizza. We use the store-brand fresh or frozen wheat dough and go from there. It's actually way better than take out, and we've enjoyed the experience. I think we've also been more intentional about what we're cooking and planning our meals for the entire week. It's been great, all around. And now that it's about time for the grill to be in use almost every night, meal planning should be even easier!

Yesterday was Easter, the culmination of Holy Week which was busy on the one hand and not on the other. At 7:30 yesterday morning, after having slept in my office on Saturday night, the rector told me that I should perform the two baptisms, as I'd been working with the family and he didn't really know them. He then said I should just go ahead and celebrate too. This was at the 10:30 AM Easter service-the most highly attended service of the year, I'd venture to guess (more than at Christmas, but we have 3 services that night so folks are spread out). So I did my first baptisms yesterday! A 4 year old and his little sister, who was 11 days old (and ADORABLE). It was great : ) and definitely made my Easter!

Non-work wise things have been fine. I made my PhD decision and am super excited about it. I think it's the right place for me to be, and the visit I made was absolutely fantastic. I'll make a more official announcement once things are more official (the paperwork is getting started on their end this week) but hurray for that decision being made! I feel that I can move on and start getting excited about it. And start reviewing my Greek and French and making some headway in Latin this summer. Woot! I also want to get a paper I wrote last fall (2008) worked up for publication/conference paper presentation. Hopefully I'll be able to make that work.

As I said above, I haven't seen R too much in the past month. My Team in Training stuff is rolling along-I'm hoping donations will pick up a little soon (I'm sending out a reminder letter this week) as I have to reach my goal by May 4 or else I have to cough up the money on my own, which could pose a problem as I don't have that kind of money. Yikes. It freaks me out to think about, but my brother is going to have a concert in Iowa (at least, he's supposed to!) that will hopefully bring in some donations, and some folks at work are interested as well.

I've been doing some hiking on my own, as all of the team hikes in March were on days when I had work stuff I had to do. I hiked Mt. Wachusett two weeks ago, and today did a little on the Holyoke Range. My legs are going to feel today's hike tomorrow! I would normally have been able to go a little farther than I did today, but I was sick for a few days at the end of the week before last, and it took me a little while to recover fully from the allergy/cold/sinus thing. I'm just glad it's over, and hopefully that will be it for sinus crap this year!

Ummmm...yeah. That's all I've got on this end for the moment. The weather has been AWESOME lately-Easter was glorious! Mid-70s and sunny, which is a rarity for New England. Often it's gray and cold, but not this year! I think it might get into the 80s this week, which is bizarre but there you go. El Nino.

That's it for the moment. Hopefully I'll be more on top of this thing...

Arg.

2010-02-23T21:33:00.003-05:00

I was just going to post one of my sermons, but some tag in the html is preventing this from happening and I'm too tired/lazy at the moment to sort it out. Boo. Hopefully I'll get that worked out some time soon. Oh well.

In other news, I'm still super excited about the PhD news. I've heard from a few more places since then-I was accepted to another program (although news on funding is forthcoming-it's not a great fit, but it was nice to know they want me!), wait-listed at a place I expected to be totally rejected from, and rejected from another which really wasn't a great fit but was in the area. That puts me at 2 acceptances, 1 wait-list, and 2 rejections. Not too shabby, considering last year I didn't get in anywhere (including the place that wait-listed me!). I don't know where I'm at on the one wait-list, but I decided to stay on it for now and see if anyone kicks back their offer thereby opening me a spot. Of the places I'm still waiting to hear from, only 2 would be good fits-and one of those places doesn't necessarily guarantee funding and the other is a super long shot that I'm not expecting to get into anyway, so there you go. One of the four I seriously have no idea about, and the other is the worst fit of them all so I'm not too concerned about that application at this point.

So...yeah. Once I've made it official, I'll write some post about it. I did get an email from a professor I'd be working closely with at the good fit acceptance school, asking me if I had any questions and congratulating me on admission. That made me happy : ) She was great in person and we hit it off really well, so it was nice to see that continuing. I wrote her back with a couple of questions, and will likely go for a visit just to get a sense of things from the other side of the admissions process. And I've started looking at courses for the fall, which is fun. I'm still trying to figure out the major/minor set up of this particular school's program (you have a general major, a specific major, and a minor) so I have some idea about what sorts of classes I'm looking for. I'll probably start working on the reading list pretty early too, but then again I feel like I have a pretty decent idea of the stuff I'd want on that list for the early modern English church history list-at least part of it, anyway.

Exciting! That's the best word for this. I'm so blessed that I will get to pursue this vocation-it's creative, it's dynamic, and I feel that it's really really important for the church.

Oh and after a wonderful 5 or so days of 40 something degree weather, which allowed for a great hike and a run outside yesterday (and by the way I shaved 1 min. 20 seconds off my time from last year's average!!!), the snow is back. Boo.

:D

2010-02-19T17:19:00.002-05:00

AHHHHH!!!!!! I just had to do that. This afternoon I got a phone call from a graduate program director telling me that I had been accepted into their program, with 5 years of full funding and a yearly stipend! Furthermore, he said that they really liked my application (although I'm guessing he said that to everyone he called as they wouldn't accept you if they didn't like the application).

I am...beside myself with excitement. Just last night I was talking to R about my doubts, and he in his calm way just reminded me that this could indeed happen. That's the great thing about my husband-he believes in me when my confidence falters. So when I called him today and told him, he said "what did I tell you yesterday?" Needless to say, I was more than happy to reply "you told me so." :D

So. I jumped up and down in the house and squealed after I got off the phone (I wish I had a video of it for you, Mom, as you're always complaining that my reactions are excited enough). I had a tough time keeping my cool on the phone with the graduate director as he was telling me the news-this program is on of my top choices-in fact, it might be my very top choice (given the other programs I applied to, how I fit into this program and their faculty, how my conversations with their faculty went, and the schools I've yet to hear from-I got rejected from Yale by the way). I'll post specifics once I've made it official-but for now, I'm just so happy. This is something I've felt called to very strongly, and I'm so blessed that I will be able to pursue this vocation.

ROCK ON!!!!!!!

Remembering Alan

2010-02-12T08:41:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I got some heartbreaking news. A close friend of mine from college, Alan, committed suicide last Friday. We hadn't spoken in some years-he was always kind of bohemian and hard to get a hold of-but the news hit me really, really hard. I thought I would take a moment here to remember this wonderful person.

Alan was...different. Different than anyone I've ever known. I think the best way to describe him is as a living poem-beautiful, deep, yet only truly understood by the author. There always seemed to be some part of him that I just couldn't tap in to, no matter how much time we spent together (which was a fair amount). I'm not one who talks about "figuring people out," as I find that ridiculous, but there was an air of the enigmatic about Alan. He lived in a small apartment on College St. near the top of the hill. His bedroom was also his kitchen, and his computer room had one recliner, a desk, a computer, and a desk chair. He was the picture of simple living.

I have nothing but great memories of Alan. We met in a seminar in college, Buddhism in America I believe. I remember being fascinated by him (he sat on the other side of the seminar table from me), and slowly we got to know one another. We were TA's in the intro to Asian Religions class together. What was great is that our conversations and friendship went way beyond class (in fact I don't think we spent tons of time talking about class topics). We went to see My Morning Jacket together in Nashville. He gave me an aloe plant that survived for years even when I didn't water it. I still have the fan he brought me from Myanmar (I think that's where he went...maybe Cambodia) that hung on my walls in graduate school. I remember eating purple rice with coconut milk with him in his apartment. Or ordering pizza and drinking hard cider, and then both of us having horrible stomach aches afterwards. He's the reason I drink hot tea-it was a jasmine tea that he got me to try that helped me realize hot tea could actually be good. I remember him telling me about how he went hiking at Mammoth Cave and night came on sooner than he expected, so he slept on the side of the trail with the map as his blanket. We went to Barnes and Noble one night, came out to the parking lot, and his truck had popped out of gear and rolled into the door of the person parked next to him. Before that he had this great Jeep Cherokee that I was jealous of. He is the only person I've known who I thought would be a good monk. He gave me a copy of an Appalachian music cd that he called "Hilary's Reel" and continues to be one of my all time favorite albums. I listen to it constantly, and now it will have more meaning.

As I said before, Alan and I hadn't spoken for many years. Once I graduated from WKU and headed to graduate school, we fell out of touch-which I'll admit is partially my fault. Though as I said in my defense he's always been really hard to get a hold of (I remember just having to walk to his apartment sometimes because he wouldn't answer his phone-or he'd lost it). I learned yesterday that he'd been working with the homeless in Virginia and was suffering from depression and had some questions he wanted to ask God directly. Even though we hadn't spoken in a while, I thought (and still think) of Alan often. There was some part of me that felt...safe? warm? I don't know the word....knowing he was somewhere in the world doing good work. He was one of the most compassionate people I have ever had the honor of knowing, and the world has lost a truly good and beautiful person.

Alan-I hope you've found some peace. You were a wonderful human being, very much loved, and we'll miss you. May light perpetual shine upon you, my friend.

Team in Training

2010-02-08T15:59:00.002-05:00

Anyone who has been following this blog may have noticed something new along the right hand side of this blog...any guesses? That's right-there's a new Team in Training widget as well as a link to my personal Team in Training fundraising website.

What's this all about? Well, Team in Training is a group/event/fundraising thingy put together by the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (LLS). People train for endurance events-be they marathons, half marathons, century bike rides, triathlons, or hiking adventures-and raise money to support the research and other projects of the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. It's a really really great organization.

If you remember, my brother was diagnosed with Berkitt's lymphoma in November 2008. Thankfully, he has now been cancer-free for about 9 months now! LLS not only supported us through the treatments developed by their researchers, but in real, on the ground ways that probably aren't apparent to those who have not been treated for a blood cancer (or who haven't been with a family member being treated for one).

Anyway I decided while Nathan was being treated that I would do a Team in Training event-I mean, he endured chemo, the least I could do was endure some physical training to raise money that will help find a cure for blood cancers. So in May, I will be traveling with a group of people from MA to join other from around the country to hike part of the Grand Canyon. I'll be keeping a blog of my training experiences, etc. on my fundraising webpage.

Now here's where you come in. I need to raise $4,350 to participate in this program. EVERY LITTLE BIT HELPS!!!!! Anything you can give will be helpful. Just think-if 440 people gave 10 bucks, then this goal could be easily met. So PLEASE, help in any way you can. The fundraising widget will take you to a donation page, while the link above it will take you to my personal fundraising page, where you can see my updates on how the training is going as well as donate. And the widget also shows how close I'm getting to my goal.

Can you help?

3 cubed

2010-02-06T16:02:00.002-05:00

I would have put a superscript in that title, but I'm not sure what the html for it is, and I'm not really feeling in the mood to look it up. So there we go.

Anyway I'm 3 cubed now! 9 is my favorite number, so one could also say I'm 9+9+9 which is nice and trinitarian in a way. Which I like for obvious reasons. I had a good birthday-R and I had lunch together, then met some friends for dinner and bowling. We were supposed to go bowling for my birthday two years ago and it snowed so that never happened. I've been telling him he owes me bowling for the past two years and now he's made good on that one. Woohoo! I didn't win, but I did come in second (losing only by 1 point on the 2nd game). It was great.

This morning I headed to the kick off for Team in Training. I'll post more on that this week, but it's a big thing I'm doing this spring and I'll be putting up a link for you all to follow for my TNT website (it is in support of the Leukemia and Lymphoma society, but like I said more on that later).

The next few weeks look like they're going to be pretty crazy-lots of evening stuff at work coming up, which can be hard because when a meeting at work ends at 8:30, I don't get home until 10. And then I have to be up and ready to be back at work by 9 the next day, which involves leaving home between 7-7:30 am. The lack of sleep won't be the hardest part, I think. The challenge will be getting my workouts in and actually getting to see my husband. We don't get enough hang out time during the week as it is, since we both get home around 7 and then go to the gym and don't sit down for dinner until 9:30. But Ash Wednesday is almost upon us, which brings with it Shrove Tuesday. And this week is a meeting week. And then the week after all of that I'm going to KY for diocesan convention and hang out time with the fam.

The bright side of this is that hopefully it will keep me busy enough to focus less on waiting for PhD admissions decisions. There are days when I feel like I put in a great application, and other days when I feel that despite of that application there were lots of others who probably put in better applications. And then I start freaking out about what I'm going to do if I don't get in, in terms of finding another part time job. Bleh. It's really really stressful, but I should start hearing something in the next few weeks.

In the meantime I've been reading some good stuff-right now I'm working on Eamon Duffy's The Fires of Faith, and will post a review of that soon as well as two books by Helen Fielding I've been reading. So keep your eyes open for those.

We brewed a couple of weeks ago (A sweet stout, or chocolate stout depending on who you talk to) which means bottling day is fast approaching. We got some tips from a friend that should make it less messy AND I found a piece of the kit that I thought we didn't get that should make the siphon work waaaaaaaaaay better. Bottling last time was very wet and sticky (there's lots of sugar involved) but hopefully this time it won't be. I like beer but sitting covered in it for an hour and a half was kind of not that great. And then the beer should be ready to go in a month! I think our next brew is going to be a wheat beer we've got-just in time for spring! One (or both) of the yeasts we have left are starting to age a bit so we may have to buy more. Luckily they're not stupid expensive.

That's about all I've got. Hopefully my blog posts this week will be a little more planned. This was more of a stream of consciousness thing-albeit more organized as my real stream of consciousness is never this cohesive-at least it wouldn't be to anyone who's not me.

Hope you're staying warm and dry!

Milestone and Resolution FAIL

2010-02-01T10:06:00.002-05:00

Two things. Well, three really.

1. I didn't post last week-so much for that "resolution." But the great thing is that I can just write it off as a bad job and try to do better this week. Hopefully.

2. You may have noticed a blog layout change. I do this every now and then, mostly because I just get bored with the way the blog looks. This time it was largely due to the fact that I wanted to include a picture in the header, and my old format wasn't the best for such a thing. This picture is bigger than I want it, but my edited picture keeps coming up as corrupt for some reason so whatever. For those who are interested, this picture was taken in Istria in May, 2008 on the way to this tiny church with really great murals on the inside. The countryside was beautiful, and this is one of my favorite pictures from that day.

3. Now, for the real meat of the post. I reached a running milestone this weekend! I posted a while back about how I'm a pretty slow runner, but then I realized I run about the speed a butterfly flies so that was a nice discovery. I've still been trying to get my speed up, though, and this weekend I reached a new level. Usually on the treadmill I run between 5.4 and 5.6 mph, with elevation varying depending on the run setting I'm using (when I do a 5K a couple of times a week there are some hills, and then on "easy" days I just run on 0 elevation). R and I have been upping our cardio times to 45-60 minutes/day. This weekend I got on the treadmill expecting to do my usual 5.4-5.6 speed, but after about 15 minutes I decided to see what would happen if I bumped it up to 6.0 mph. I did so, planning to do 10 minutes on that if I could (I'd only ever run about 2 minutes at 6.0 before). At the ten minute mark I decided to see if I could make 15. Then if I could make 20. Then...25. Then I felt like my legs were going to fall off, so I walked for 5 minutes and THEN finished is up with another 5 bringing it to 30 whole minutes at 6.0! I then ran another 15 at 5.4. I think I ended up running about 5.3 miles on Saturday, which is the most I've ever run and the fastest I've ever run. Wahoo!

Yesterday my legs were definitely sore, but it was so cool to know that I could go that speed for that amount of time. Hopefully I'll be able to build up the endurance so it doesn't feel quite so out of control at the end of the 30 minutes, and then 6.0 can be my normal pace and I can stay there for a while. Sweet.

As R said, it's crazy to think about how far we've come in terms of running since we started in the winter of 2007 by running 1 minute and walking 1 minute for 30 minutes. But the method from the book R got for Christmas from his brother worked, and here we are running for more extended periods of time. Awesome.

In other big news, I'm doing Team in Training with the Leukemia and Lymphoma society. I'll have another post forthcoming on that and how YOU can help out. : )

Musical Literacy

2010-01-21T22:01:00.002-05:00

I recently started playing in a local community band. I found out about this group through the local newspaper, emailed the director, and went to my first rehearsal a couple of weeks ago. As a clarinetist, it's usually not too hard to get into wind ensembles and concert bands, as they're always short. It's been fun-the hard part has been adjusting to the fact that it's a community band and not the type of ensemble I'm used to playing in, but it's a place for my to indulge my musical side, which always makes my soul feel better.

Anyway, the theme for the spring concert is outer space, or something like that. All of the music we're playing has some space-y thing in the title. Two of the pieces we're playing are from Gustav Holst's The Planets ("Jupiter" and "Uranus," to be specific). I've played "Mars" in both wind ensembles and orchestras before, and I've played the "Jupiter" in orchestra. Plus, this work of Holst's is wonderful and I know it decently well and imagined that everyone in the band would have recognized the pieces (especially "Jupiter"-it and "Mars" are probably the two most well known movements of the work) as The Planets is well known and almost movie-esque, in an early twentieth century kind of way. Imagine my surprise then, when one of the clarinets piped up after we finished "Jupiter" and said "Where did you find this piece?" After rehearsal, several players asked me the same sorts of questions. My response (mentally) is below:

WHAT?!?!?!?! Are you serious? You're a musician and you've never heard Holst's The Planets?!

I spent the entire drive home thinking about this. I'm still in disbelief. It got me to thinking about musical literacy in our society. You hear about the "cultural canon" or "great books" so much, but it's all about literature. Not that I have anything against literature-I study it, for crying out loud! But I find that music is rarely-if ever-included in discussions of cultural literacy. You could probably mention Beethoven or Mozart to people, and maybe even Tchaikovsky (if it's close to Christmas) and folks would know who you were talking about. But when you run into musicians who have never heard of Holst, the problem of musical literacy becomes apparent.

I don't even know how we approach this problem. I'm just...flabbergasted. Music transcends boundaries in ways that reading can't (language barriers don't exist here, although cultural tastes in music do, but I'd argue not to the same extent as language). I just want to go into rehearsal and hand out copies of The Planets, and even the soundtrack to Fantasia 2000 (which I find to be the best intro to the range of classical music, played by the oh so wonderful Chicago Symphony Orchestra) just so people would know these pieces. I mean, listening to modern music is enriched when you know the standards, just as knowing the standards in jazz helps you pick up on tags and quotes during improv sessions. Case in point-John Williams. I am convinced that "O Fortuna" from Carmina Burana was a direct influence on the piece "Duel of the Fates" from the score to Star Wars: Episode One. Aside from the obvious similarity in title ("O fortune!" vs. "Duel of the Fates"), the pieces have a similar sound. The first time I heard it in the movie theater, I was immediately struck by this and my experience of that musical moment was deepened because I knew (and had played, for that matter) then Orff setting.

I apologize if this post seems scattered or doesn't make sense. I'm just still kind of astonished by people not knowing the Holst piece. Crazy.

Ordination

2010-01-18T17:25:00.002-05:00

Whew. It was a big weekend for me, to put it mildly. For those who don't know, I was ordained to the priesthood on Saturday (officially in Christ's one holy catholic and apostolic Church, but specifically I'm Episcopalian). It was a big moment-I won't say that I felt ontologically transformed or anything-which is fodder for a whole discussion about women's ordination-but it really was a great service. Because travel is so expensive (for me, specifically), we had the ordination at my parish up here in MA. My bishop and family traveled from Kentucky for the service. The bishop even cried at one point-I wasn't sure he was going to make it through what he had to say when he was presenting the Bible. A few priests from the area came to support me, and my good friend came to preach. Several of my close friends from Yale came up, which really meant a lot to me. I think joy is probably the best way to describe that service. Everything was great-the musicians were wonderful, the preaching was top notch, and it was really nice to be surrounded by my parish at that moment. They did a great job with the resounding "IT IS" and "WE WILL" when asked if I should be ordained and would they support me. And it was wonderful having the rector's presence by my side-I think that was a calming influence, as I was (strangely perhaps) nervous before the service, but once it got going I was OK.

Sunday I celebrated the Eucharist for the first time. Honestly, I was more nervous about that than about the ordination. I had visions of that scene in the movie Luther where Luther spills wine at his first celebration. If I had it wouldn't have been the end of the world, but I wanted to do a good job. AND I was chanting the service, as is the custom at the church, and had practiced to make sure I knew the part well enough. I thought it went alright, and many people came up and told me that they thought the chanting was great and it looked as though I had been celebrating for years. I should note here, though, that I was never one of those kids who "play Mass" at home. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but it honestly never occurred to me to do so. If someone had asked me to play that with them, I probably would have looked at them like they were crazy and gone outside to ride my bike. But I did spend many a Sunday acolyting, so the service itself is ingrained within me. Wednesday I've got a Rite One healing service, which will be interesting as well. Luckily I'm not completely unfamiliar with Rite One, so it should be OK. I need to memorize the healing prayer.

Other than that, it was great hanging out with my family. Unfortunately my brother wasn't able to make it up due to a quartet competition, but my mom, dad, sister, and nephew were able to make it. I swear my nephew gets more and more fun every time I see him. And it was a blast to see how he and R interacted! Sunday afternoon my sister and I played Mario Party on the Wii and my nephew wanted nothing more than to play with R. It was great! I'm looking forward to going home in February/March to spend more time with them.

They're still driving as I write-it's about 1000 miles so it's a long haul. We had a snow stormette last night, too, which made their morning travel a little messy. R and I had to shovel tons of heavy snow too, which was lame. After we were done I came in and looked at cruises. I've never been on one and would love to go; maybe for now I'll just cut up the pineapple someone at church gave me (as a gag gift when I told her I wanted pineapples for the flowers at the ordination) and make a pina colada or something. Or just eat it plain. I don't have the ingredients for a pina colada, although I guess they're not that hard to find. Whatever. Pineapple makes me think of warm places and summer. And I am so ready for summer.

Haiti

2010-01-13T16:52:00.002-05:00

I'm sure everyone's heard of the devastating earthquake that hit Haiti yesterday. Already the poorest country in the western hemisphere, it's hard to imagine what this is going to do to their population. The news pouring out of there is pretty awful-for me, at least, it's bringing back memories of the tsunami that hit southeast Asia a few years ago. Unfortunately there's so little infrastructure in Haiti to begin with that I imagine relief work is going to be that much more challenging.

My parish sponsors a school in Haiti (some folks were going to go down in February to help rebuild the walls of the school). Furthermore, the Episcopal Church has been a pretty strong presence throughout the country, helping run over 200 schools, not to mention other facilities like clinics and hospitals. Episcopal relief and development has set up a Haiti fund to help aid in the response and relief of the folks down there.

And if you're the praying type, feel free to do that too.

Almighty and everlasting God, you govern all things both in heaven and on earth: Mercifully hear the supplications of your people, and in our time grant us your peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen. (Book of Common Prayer, 215).

Album Review: Nickel Creek, Nickel Creek

2010-01-10T22:04:00.002-05:00

Somehow I went years without hearing anything by Nickel Creek. I'm not sure how this happened--but it did and fortunately I've finally solved this problem. The band, probably best defined as bluegrass or folk, is made up of Chris Thile and siblings Sara and Sean Watkins (interesting factoid-Christ Thile's dad worked at Murray State for a while, and Chris attended for a few semesters. This fact makes it even more crazy that I'd never heard anything by this group before-although to be fair I had heard of them). The group is currently not performing together (they're all doing solo stuff). I bought two of their albums with Christmas giftcards. Their last album, Why Should the Fire Die?, I got because I wasn't paying attention when I bought it. I'd actually meant to purchase the self titled debut album. Lucky me. Seriously. I'll stick to the self-titled album for now, though, as the last cd deserves its own post.

Anyway. Nickel Creek was released in 2000, produced by Alison Krauss. From what I can tell, it's been their most successful album so far (went gold in 2002 I think, and platinum after that). Listening to it once will tell you why--it's a great mix of instrumental pieces, and a blend of more traditional (or at least traditional sounding) and contemporary stuff. The instrumental standouts for me would be the opening track "Ode to a Butterfly" and "In the House of Tom Bombadil," the first because it's a great opening number and I'm a sucker for folk-bluegrass instrumental jams, and the second because not only is it a great song but it references one of the more intriguing characters from the Lord of the Rings (that's stuff for another post, however, but just let it be noted that I am incredibly interested in Bombadil and his place in the Story of Middle Earth).

The "lyric" songs, for lack of a better term (it's 10 PM on a Sunday night, which means I'm not at my intellectual best but BLOG I WILL), are great as well. Standouts include "The Lighthouse's Tale", "The Fox", and "When You Come Back Down." This last track is likely a fan favorite-a really great love song, but not exactly a story so to speak. The lighthouse and fox tracks, however, follow that great tradition of folk music and story. "The Fox" will appeal to listeners of all ages, but I imagine my 3 year old nephew would get a kick out of it. "The Lighthouse's Tale" is rather surprising-it's a story told from the perspective of the lighthouse, as opposed to a song about a lighthouse. Strange as it sounds, it works. The point is, though, that not only are these good songs to listen to, but they're great stories.

In this album, Nickel Creek displays an undeniable musical talent-these folks can really play. But not only that, they can write songs and sing you to sleep with them. The harmonies are great and the group members seem to melt together in some ways. It's really lovely. The influence from Alison Krauss is apparent, but not overwhelming. Perhaps her presence is even more noted when one listens to this album in relation to the last one (Why Should the Fire Die?), which Krauss did not produce.

If you like folksy-bluegrass music, you'll love this band. In fact, I've already gotten another person tuned into Nickel Creek. Neither of us could believe we hadn't heard them before. Nickel Creek is a great starting place for their musical talent, and is definitely worth the money. So go buy it, but don't blame me when your toes are done wore out from tapping so much.

2010

2010-01-08T12:42:00.003-05:00

So. That was 2009. What about 2010? What kinds of hopes and goals to I have for myself? I have a few, and like I said they're not really resolutions but whatever.

2010 Hopes:

-That I actually get into a PhD program that funds me and I can start studying church history at the doctoral level. This is probably my biggest hope for 2010, but it's a hard hope because my applications are in and now all I'm doing is waiting and praying. And that's tough!

-That, if I don't get into a PhD program, I can faithfully trust God to help me discern where to go next. I'll have to find some kind of supplemental employment at the very least (living on a salary and a half in New England is really hard), and I pray that if I go that road it will be an employment that doesn't feel like it's sucking out my soul.

2010 Goals:

-That I can get my weight to 175-180. I checked, and last year at the beginning of January I was at 215. I started working out more and then joined Weight Watchers and lost a good amount of weight. I quit WW in November, though, as it's an expense I can't have right now. I've leveled off between 185-187 it seems, which is still almost 30 lbs down from last year, which is awesome! I'm really proud of that, because I worked really hard at it. But I've been stuck at this weight for 3 months now, and while I know everyone has a weight their body tends to stop at, I feel that I can get mine down lower. It's just doing to take some more work. R and I have been great about the gym in the last couple of weeks, so we just have to keep it up. Hopefully I can up the cardio to an hour a day, with weights three times a week (right now cardio is around 35-40 minutes a day).

-That I can run some sort of race this year. I was going to do something with Team in Training at the Grand Canyon, but I have a work-related event that weekend. Oh well. There's something at Disney in January, so maybe I can convince R that we will form a team and do it! Maybe my brother and sister would too. That would be cool. We'll see-they don't post winter events until later. I find with running and fitness that I need a tangible goal, and I feel that a 10 miler or half marathon would be a good one (I do a 5K pretty regularly-as in once or twice a week-as it is so that doesn't seem like much of a goal to me at this point).

-That I can be a more faithful blogger. I'd like to try to blog 3 times a week at least (which I've obviously not done so far, but 2 in one day is doing pretty well! One more this week and I'm set!) I'm planning to include sermons on here, and to be more faithful about my book, movie, and music reviews (as well as the occasional cool thing to do in New England post).

-To bike more. I got a 2006 Rockhopper in the fall for cheap. R is going to help me overhaul it, and I'm hoping to get some shoes so I can learn to use clipless peddles and be awesome at it. And I just love biking, so I'd like to do that intensely. It's good cross-training for a race anyway.

-To camp more. I love camping, hiking, and backpacking. And now I live in a perfect place to do it and I don't. I already have most of the equipment, and it's good equipment. One of my goals for the summer is to do some good camping trips and to share them with R.

So there you have it. My personal hopes and goals for 2010. Here's to a good year!

2009

2010-01-08T12:22:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year!!!

I realize, given what I'm about to post in this blog, that I'm egregiously behind on my postings. But such is life and I have my own excuses (namely Christmas as a minister-it's a slightly busy time of year) but regardless. I've been absent from the blog for a while but...here I am.

During my "blog break" I thought about why it is I blog in the first place. I mean, I really don't think there are untold numbers of people who read this thing. Maybe 10. However, I feel that I have things to share and that maybe-eventually-someone else will read something I've written and get to thinking about it. So it's really just a public forum for me to jot down my thoughts and beliefs about certain things. I toyed with just letting the blog go, but decided that the discipline of writing on it every few days would be good for me.

Now, I'm not one for making New Year's Resolutions-saying I resolve to do something has never really gotten me into gear about anything. I do realize, however, that the new year is a time for us to stop and reflect on what has happened in the past year and what we would like to accomplish in the year to come. It's a spring cleaning in a way, but one that happens in January. To be perfectly honest, though, I find Lent to be a much more helpful time for any kind of personal evaluation and cleaning up. That may just be me, though. So in the spirit of the New Year, I figured I would give a short summary of my 2009, and then go on to what I would like to accomplish for 2010 (part of which involves this blog). So, without further ado:

2009 in Review

January 1 2009 didn't feel like much of a new year, to be honest. As a person who is still set to a school calendar (even though I'm not in school at the moment-I hope to be soon and I also work with high school kids who are obviously set to a school calendar) January 1 has always felt like it was in the middle. But it was a new year nevertheless. R and I spent it with two good friends at their apartment drinking Bourbon Barrel beer and watching The Office. It was wonderful. My brother was home for the first time since his November cancer diagnosis, and it was good to be home with him, as opposed to in a hospital room or in the house he was renting (although it was a nice house, it wasn't home). School started, and then my paternal grandmother passed away very unexpectedly. My sister couldn't attend the funeral because of her job, my brother was in the hospital for chemo so my mom went out there, and I traveled to PA--through a crazy snowstorm no less-to be with my Dad. I preached at her funeral, which was especially poignant as my Gorgeous Ma was looking forward to my June ordination. While this might sound bad, though it's not meant to, I'm glad hers was the first funeral homily I gave. Barack Obama was inaugurated while I was out there for the funeral-never had I felt so much hope in a new president.

February I went to Canterbury, which was awesome as it's my favorite city in England. I also started getting rejections from the PhD programs to which I applied, and thus the job search began. That took up most of my spring, and to be honest I found it to be a pretty stressful and maybe even horrible process. I felt alone in the search, but that could just be because it was a crappy time for my whole family, I got rejected from every program, and I wasn't finding any job that would have me because I was going to be unable to move to their town. Commuting wasn't an option for many of these churches. And, on top of everything, the economy was busted and no one wanted to hire an assistant. Ugh. That was the word for February through April really. And even into May. The bright spot was that N's scans at the end of his chemo showed NO signs of cancer. Thankfulness is not the word to express how we all felt at that moment. We continue to pray over the next year that it will stay gone.

But praise God I did find a job (I think it was finalized in June, or late May-one of the two) and I graduated from YDS. Then I headed home for the summer. It was really great to be home. My nephew turned 3 and gets more and more fun every time I see him. My family was closer, I would argue, after my brother's illness and so it was good just to spend some time healing with everyone (although I don't think it was a conscious healing-it was a healing-by-presence). The hard part was that R was up here, and I was down there, and we didn't see each other for something like 8 or 10 weeks. Thank God for Skype!!!

And then...THE WEDDING!!!! It was an absolutely perfect day. I think maybe I blogged about it, so you can see what I said there. Perfect is the best word to describe it. And the honeymoon was AWESOME. We went to Disney World (I hadn't been since I was 7) and I think I may be addicted. It was so wonderful-I want to go back this year! And every year, really.

The fall brought changes. I moved into R's house and we've been working on making it our house. I started my first September without being in school. My job is great, but I admit I feel such a pull toward the academic world that it was really hard not starting classes this fall. I started PhD applications (again), however. By December I'd finished 9 applications, and am now praying that I'll be able to follow my academic vocation next fall. Otherwise it's time for more discernment, which will be hard as all discernment inevitably is. Good, but hard. R and I are adjusting the married life just great, I think. It's funny though, people would ask me pretty early on how it felt to be married. I said it felt the same, only we see each other every day and have rings on our fingers. I don't know if everyone feels that way, but because we'd spent a couple of summers living together we knew how one another operated, and didn't have that adjustment to make when I moved in permanently.

That's my 2009 in a nutshell. Inevitably I've left things out, or glossed over things. Some are because it's another person's story to tell. Some because it didn't pop up on my radar right now. And some because I didn't feel like writing about it. But there's a basic overview of 2009.

Thankfulness

2009-12-09T18:19:00.002-05:00

I realize it's a couple of weeks after Thanksgiving, but this morning I had a real moment of thankfulness. In lieu of anything else to blog about at the moment (that you don't already know-applications, applications, ummm...is there anything else right now?) I figured I would write about this.

I work about 56 miles away from where I live. The commute is about 1:25 each way, which could be worse. Luckily it's a pretty drive and it gives me time to pray in the mornings (although I would still love to have a 15 minute commute and just pray NOT in a car). As this is my first year in this job, we're still figuring out how winter is going to work-especially now that winter has really just gotten here. Today was the first test case of how this might roll.

Yesterday the weather was calling for a winter weather advisory-not so bad and something I could reasonably get to work in. The plan was to get up around 5, check the weather, shovel whatever snow there was, and get on the road by 6:30ish in time for the 9 AM staff meeting. My "boss" is overly cautious about me going in on bad weather days, but I really do want to be there unless it's really bad, especially for staff meetings. So this morning I got up at 5:10, rolled over, checked my handy dandy iPhone, and it had changed to a winter storm warning. I looked at the weather report, emailed the office administrator, and tried to go back to sleep (although I was kind of awake by then but eventually got back to sleep). R, however, was not so lucky. He doesn't have the choice, really, to stay home when the weather's bad. I mean, he could stay home but that would involve using vacation, sick, or personal time-and he doesn't have much of that, especially in December. For him it's a matter of "do I take the train-which costs time and money-or do I drive-which costs concentration and more time." He tends to drive (I would take the train, but that's just me).

I realized just how thankful I am to be in a compassionate working environment. This isn't to say that R's place of work isn't full of nice people-it is-he just has a more traditional work setting that requires you to be there and if you're not, it costs you. I keep thinking of ways this could be better. I mean, seriously, in urban environments where people have long commutes (R's is about 1:30 each way), when the weather is bad they spend a good deal of their concentration on the morning commute and would likely go into work mentally worn out-and it's only 9 AM! There has to be a better way around this. Ideally it would be not living so far away from one's place of employment, but that's not a possibility in this case.

So anyway, I'm thankful for having a place to work, particularly one that doesn't make me drive in when the weather is crazy.

In other news, I'm planning a beer post sometime soon. And I finished a couple of books. And my applications are almost halfway done. And Christmas is on the way! And Advent is definitely here. : )

The kittens are going insane so I'd better go. Cheers, everyone!

Best. Thing. Ever.

2009-11-28T21:53:00.000-05:00

OK I know I've posted lots of videos lately and not anything of substance, but I plan to change that in the near future. However, tomorrow's Sunday and I have a long and full day so I'll put off my entry (that and my first PhD app is due on Tuesday).

So here's something for you. You've probably already seen it, but I've seen it at least 5 times in the last three days and it only gets better. AND R just showed me the original Queen video and it's even better having seen that now!

Enjoy. :)

What I Want for Christmas

2009-11-20T12:14:00.001-05:00

With the expansion pack, please.

Dag nab it.

2009-11-06T14:22:00.002-05:00

I just took a moment to total up the costs for my PhD applications this year. Kinda ridiculous...

Transcripts: 171.00
GRE Score reports: 180.00
Application fees: 655.00
For a grand total of...1006.00

Good thing I already set aside the money for this, otherwise I might be freaking out at this point. What makes this a tough pill to swallow is that nothing is guaranteed, and like last year I could spend money on apps (although last year I only applied to 3 places) and not get in anywhere.

For a variety of reasons, I pray pray PRAY that doesn't happen this time.

Nope...

2009-11-06T13:06:00.002-05:00

...I haven't forgotten you all or my blogging! I'm just in the midst of trying to get some crazy PhD application stuff done. I've spent the past two days getting everything ready to send to my recommenders, which has involved an inordinate amount of time checking every application deadline and how the rec's are done for each application. Since I'm applying to nine places, that's quite alot of website checking. And it's annoying. But that's done, and the CV is basically updated (although more and more I look at it and feel like it needs to be reconfigured but I don't really have the time or energy to do so right now-the pertinent information is on there and that's what counts). My current dilemma is that the YDS journal I was published in never sent me a hard copy, and I can't figure out who the official publisher was. I think that information was emailed to me at some point, but it was mailed to my Yale account which no longer exists; thus, I'm stuck and don't know how to list that publication but really really want to because it would look good in the applications! Arg. Frustration to the max. I also need to add up costs, but they're not going to be fun. The GRE scores will cost 180.00 to forward, and transcripts will probably come close to 80-90 (but hopefully less, some are stupid cheap and some are expensive-Yale is expensive, Harvard is cheap, WKU is in the middle. Weird).

My next project is to get my writing sample up to snuff. I have three options at this point, and am torn about which to go with. My Herbert paper is in final form (that's the one that was published) and should be ready to go, but I think it's the least historically-oriented paper I've got. My BCP paper, which is the most historically oriented, needs alot of work and it's also about the topic I want to study for a PhD. I wary of submitting that paper (even if it were in final form) because I don't want it to look like Ive already done everything on this topic. I'm trying to demonstrate some breadth....

Which leads me to my third paper, which was actually a midterm I wrote for my prayer book class last year. While it's a midterm, it was a mini research paper (about 14 pages) and compares the sacramental theologies in two liturgies written during the prayer book proscription of the 1650s. So it's apropos, but not exactly on topic as the BCP paper is. It's a little less historically oriented (in an obvious way) but deals with primary source texts from my period. I think that's the one I'll go with, unless I have a last minute change of heart!

Other than that, R and I are planning to go to Plimouth Plantation tomorrow. Growing up, I always read these books about Sarah Morton and Nathaniel somebody and their "day"-the books were photographed at Plimouth and they're about the lives of pilgrim children, basically. I've always wanted to go to this place to check it out, so we're going tomorrow! And it's only a few weeks before Thanksgiving so it's especially timely. I'm such a dweeb, but I'm stoked! R is a little excited because they have venison burgers there and he's never had venison, so he can check another animal off of his food chain list. Ha. He cracks me up.

Oh and we brewed beer last weekend! I'll post photos soon of the brewing. We'll bottle next weekend and then another 2 weeks of conditioning in the bottles and then...we get to taste it! But more on that later. Soon you'll hopefully have beer pics and pilgrim pics.

But not now. I have to give you something to look forward to, right?

Hmm.

2009-10-30T20:41:00.002-04:00

Nothing major to report right now, I just thought I would let you all know I hadn't forgotten the blogsphere or my attempts at being more regular about it. Things are going alright-applications still getting done, I guess, and doing work. Right now R and I are watching Ghost Adventures Live. It's kind of boring so far, I think. Maybe that's just me. Ummm...tomorrow night I'm taking the youth group trick or treating and having a lock in at the rector's house. Not sure how it's going to go, though, as I keep being told of more and more kids who aren't coming. Lame. It's not like I would have had nothing better to do on Halloween. Lame lame lame. I hope some of them at least show up (who aren't the rectors kids-they're great but we're just having the lock in at their house so that wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary for them). We'll see I guess.

In other news...yeah. There really isn't too much other news. We're brewing tomorrow morning now that R's car is finished up, and then we'll go for a hike or something else. Don't know yet, though.

And I'm tired of New England at the moment. Well, I'm usually tired of New England, but situations put us here for now. I look forward to moving back to the South though. That's home, not this foreign country that's part of the US of A.

Sorry. I'm in a bleh mood. Not bad. Not great. Just bleh. Perhaps it's the thought that very few will show up tomorrow night and it will feel like a waste of time.

Lame.

Carl Sagan Jams Out

2009-10-23T14:15:00.004-04:00

OK so I'm not really into the whole "space thing." I find it kind of interesting, but I'm not some huge advocate for space exploration. Yes, I realize there are reasons for exploring space. I also realize that we know very little about our own earth (look at the oceans! Watch Sea Quest DSV people!) and I realize that most people on this earth can barely eat. I'm not taking an ethical position here.

However, R really loves space stuff (I especially do if it involves Futurama...). His friends told him about this video, and he posted it on his Facebook wall. And now I'm sharing it with you all, just because I find it pretty friggin' great-the video is hilarious, not in a laugh out loud way but in a "Carl Sagan is one smooth MF". So enjoy!

2009-10-20T20:36:00.002-04:00

So...R and I went on our honeymoon to Disney World. I hadn't been since I was 7.

It was AMAZING. I can't even begin to convey to you how much fun we had-we still talk about how fun that trip was. Everything about it was awesome. The people that work there are genuinely friendly. There's TONS to do. It's a world unto itself, and it's so friggin' fantastic.

I warned R that he was going to create an addict, and he did. I'm so ready to go back! I think he would prefer less frequent visits but I'm ready to go again, as in soon. I think everything 6 months should suffice.

I don't know why this is on my mind at the moment. I think the recent bit of cold weather and the fact that R has had to work on the car so much lately (which is hopefully fingers crossed please please please going to be done in the next day or two) has made me crave sun and being in a fun place where there's zero responsibility on my part. And if I get into a PhD program (which I really really really hope I do this time around) I realized that I don't have the luxury of going on a vacation in, say, February again for a while-not that we're going on vacation in February, it's just kinda cool to think that we could if we had the time and money for it. Such a novelty.

OK I'm off to think about Mickey and the awesome popcorn at Magic Kingdom some more. If any of you want to go with me on vacation to WDW anytime soon, gimme a heads up so I can start saving...

8(|: ) -that's supposed to be a mickey hat...

THIS is what I've been talking about

2009-10-19T20:31:00.002-04:00

Many of you know this, but some don't. For those who don't, I should preface the following by saying that I'm an ordained minister in Christ's church, particularly the Anglican variety, more particularly the Episcopal Church variety. I'm a deacon right now, but will be ordained to the priesthood in January.

Anyway, many out there will know the Episcopal Church has been struggling with its place in the worldwide Anglican Communion. There's a lot of history as to why this is so, and there's no way I could spell it out in a blog. Suffice it to say, the issues are complex and not easily resolved. This is made even more difficult by the fact that what the Anglican Communion actually is has been really hard to pin down. There are those who say the Episcopal Church (TEC) should just do its own thing and leave. Some have left TEC because they feel it has strayed from biblical teaching. Others argue that we should have a covenant that describes the Anglican Communion, and that perhaps TEC, because it has continued to do its "own thing" despite the will of the "Communion" should be a 2nd tier member (the quotation marks are not meant in a mocking manner, but rather to denote how slippery these words are when I use them).

My own stance is that communion IS important. I'm not willing to say goodbye to the Anglican Communion. As many more conservative bishops have pointed out (see below, also Edward Little II's recent writing in Christianity Today), Christ calls us to unity and not to division. Somehow this has been forgotten in the recent church debates. But this post wasn't supposed to be mostly my writing, but rather what someone else has written about what communion is.

The bishop of the Diocese of Louisiana wrote the following in Churchworks, the magazine for that diocese. It's food for thought and prayer.

"Reflections On Communion" - Bishop Charles Jenkins

I shall never forget the day the tea arrived. Cases and cases of tea, shipped to us by the Bishop of Ceylon. More tea than I have ever seen at one time donated to us in the wake of Hurricane Datrina.

I remember my amazement when at "Community Congress 1" the realization came upon me that many of the volunteers working there were from London and came as part of the efforts to help of the Church of England.

How strengthened I was when Bishop Josiah Fearon of the Diocese of Kaduna in the Church of Nigeria phoned to say that the entire Diocese was praying for us and he and a group were trying to find a way to come to us. Eventually, Bishop Fearon came and he came to see about me.

The amount of the check may have been small, but how grateful we were for the ordinand in the Church of England who asked that the loose offering at his ordination be sent to us. That check with tens of thousands of others has made a difference.

"Like a deer caught in the headlights" was how someone described me after the levees failed. Then a call came (I wonder how he got through) from Rob Radtke at Episcopal Relief and Development asking what we needed. How the heck did I know? I told Rob we needed him. Though brand spanking new to the job, he managed to get on a plane and come. He brought with him Courtney Cowart and Peter Gudaitis.

It was humbling to be asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury during the Lambeth Conference of 2008 to search out the Bishops from Burma so affected by tsunami and pray with them. Of course, they had been praying for us.

When evil stands before me, I stand not alone, but this fractious, schismatic, heretical, wonderful, faithful, sacrificing, Christ-like Communion stands beside me, before me, behind me, and above me. As lonely as the past four years have been, even in dark nights of depression and doubt, I have not been alone. The last phone message I had before the system went down was from the Rev'd Susan Russell.

The tabernacle would not open in St. Luke's Church, New Orleans, when Frank and Phoebe Griswold and I moved aside trees to get into the church. We had Holy Communion there in the muck, mold, and mud thanks to Senior Warden Elvia James who managed to get the door open to the tabernacle. That Holy Communion pointed me towards our Communion.

Communion is not only about right believing and right acting. When our lives were in the ditch by the Jericho Road, when we had been robbed of life's dignity and much of the material of life, our Samaritan was the Anglican Communion. Rich and poor, orthodox or whatever, conservative and liberal, they came to us. They gave us of what they had and all prayed for us.

This Communion that I have experienced is the Church forced by circumstance to be what I think God has created His Church to be. I warn those who would break down and destroy this tender vessel that they are on the side of the enemy. Whether the iconoclasts be from the left, the right, or from the don't care side of things, let the warning be heard, Communion matters. Communion is not simply a matter of affiliation, or of like-minds; for some of us Communion is life or death. Communion is more than a man-made Covenant between us. We are called by God the Father into a greater Covenant that we dare not break. We are called to be here, together, one, broken, messy and yet strong, faithful, and rejoicing in the Lord.

The issues are many, the disagreements and disappointments many, and the opportunity to each do our own thing (which we suppose to be of God who blesses all our doings) is enticing. Such is not real religion.

Yours in Christ,

The Rt. Rev. Charles E. Jenkins

From Churchwork, Fall 2009, the official publication of the Episcopal Diocese of Louisiana.

Body ponderings

2009-10-14T19:10:00.003-04:00

Just to warn you, this is a long post.

I've been putting off the composition of this post, although it's been on my mind for a while now. The delay isn't really due to any kind of deep self disclosure, or even painful memories or anything like that. It's just...difficult to talk about in any coherent fashion. However, I was inspired to write down my thoughts finally a friend's recent journey in "honoring the body."

I'm going to quote Scripture here for a moment, which I don't normally do on my blog (I save that for my theology/bible blog), but bear with me. Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20: "do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God, and that you are not your own? For you were bought with a price; therefore glorify God with your body" (NRSV). Now, I don't want to get into the theological implications of "you are not your own," but I find this message from Paul very striking, not only because we are asked to think of our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit, but also because we are asked to honor God with our bodies.

Just what exactly does that mean? I think it probably, like so many things in the Bible, ends up meaning many different things to many different people. To me, however, it means that I am called to care for this amazing creation in a responsible way for it is an incredible gift from God. Anyone who has held a newborn will know that remarkable sense of awe at the wonders of creation What a gift of life (regardless of from where you feel that gift, or chance, comes)!

In my case, this has meant being more aware of what I put into my body, which in turn leads me to be more health conscious. I was to make it VERY CLEAR that this is NOT about being thin. AT ALL. I'm not sure my caps makes that quite as obvious as I would like but I can't make type shout at people. I don't want anyone reading the rest of this post thinking I'm talking about being skinny versus being fat. Why? Because the word "fat" is, in my opinion, one of the most hate-filled, meanest words people use against one another. Maybe this is because I come from a family with a genetic disposition towards being large, and have heard too many people spit that word at myself, my siblings, or my parents. And it leaves very, very deep wounds. The idea that fat=uncontrolled, slob, lazy, stupid, less of a person (in other words, an embodiment of all that is bad) and that thin=beautiful, smart, controlled, morally better (in other words, an embodiment of all that is good) is one of the most ridiculous outright pieces of bullshit that I've ever encountered. Sorry. I don't usually vent my anger that way, but I'm so digusted by the way that body-type discrimination is rampant in our society that I could spit (to use a phrase of my mom's). That doesn't mean that obesity isn't a national problem, but the moral associations with being large are frankly ridiculous.

Phew. Now that is out of the way, I can share some of my own journey as of late. As I said, this was partially inspired by a friend's blog, but also by a book I read. I happen to work with a really great priest who wrote a book about her struggle with compulsive overeating (if you email me I can give you the exact info, but I'd rather not here for whatever reason); in her narrative, she talks about her binges--how she would just eat and eat without any attention paid to what she was eating or how it tasted. I'm not a compulsive overeater, but it did bring to mind the practice of aware-ness that comes when you make a major change in the way you eat.

So. The story begins, I guess...in college? I don't know for sure. That's the first time I tried Weight Watchers. I went to the meetings for a few weeks, lost a lot of weight the first week, but the room was full of middle aged women whose concerns were not my own. And I got tired of being told to buy fresh vegetables when I couldn't afford them. So I stopped going. I think that was sophomore or junior year. Senior year I lost a lot of weight from getting ready for a hiking trip on the AT. I managed to keep the weight off basically until I got to Yale, when I started to put it back on, for whatever reason.

Flashforward to last fall, or even more especially last winter. I remember stepping on the scale in January and seeing the number 220 flash at me. That's when I decided that something had to change. I knew I was predisposed to be heavier, so it was going to take some work. But I also knew that R and I wanted to start our life together healthy, and instill healthy habits in our kids. I did not start to lose weight for the wedding-I would say if anything I started for myself and for the marriage. Luckily R is an adoring husband who constantly tells me that I'm beautiful no matter what. It wasn't ever a matter of trying to look pretty-it was a matter of trying to take better care of the gift I'd been given. So I started working out more. I joined Weight Watchers online (no meetings involved! For some this is a pitfall, but for me it's a major draw. And it's cheaper). I haven't been perfect at it-some weeks I gain. But all in all I've gotten down to about 183ish, which is almost 40 pounds. I feel better, my clothes feel better on me, and I have more energy.

Even more importantly, though, is that I'm actually paying better attention to what I eat. For some this comes through being vegetarian (or vegan, in the case of some friends of ours). For me it's come through thinking about what I eat and how it affects my body. Sure, I'd love to be more conscientious-I've thought about going veggie, or at least pescatarian. R and I had this conversation again last night (he'll never go veggie I bet). His side is that animals were meant to be eaten. Interestingly, I agree with that. However, I don't think they're meant to be eaten in the way we eat them-mass produced by an environmentally dangerous industry (chicken, beef, and pork especially-fish I'm more comfortable with). Who knows, maybe I'll do it again. For now, though, it's not really in the cards and I don't have time to cook something for R and something for myself, or vice versa. I didn't eat red meat in high school (which I'm sure my mom and dad remember not so fondly...dad labled veggie burgers "bird seed burgers" but there you go). Maybe for lent I'll do the pescatarian thing...we'll see. But I do love me some meat...so maybe I'll try to find more local sources for the meat I eat that don't have the same problems as the stuff we get at the local market.

Anyway, the point is that part of honoring the body is paying attention to what we eat and how we treat our bodies. I'm not saying that what I did was for everyone-losing weight may not be what honoring your body entails. It could be seeking medical attention for something or actually keeping up a regimen set up by a doctor.

So there you go. I didn't write this to brag or celebrate, because that 40 pounds could be put back on and I don't want to set myself up to feeling like I failed or won at something, because that's not what it's about. I just wanted to let someone know about what's been going through my mind lately.

"Going Green"

2009-10-12T11:58:00.004-04:00

I read an interesting article recently (can't remember the title, though, so sorry) in which I encountered a really great thought about the whole "green" movement: it doesn't do anything unless the underlying assumptions about how we engage with our world have been changed. I like it. Too often I feel that people do the green thing because it's just that, a "thing" or a "fad" that is cool.

I'll be the first to admit that while I would love to be this great environmentally friendly person, I'm not. In the first place, my husband and I each drive to work-R has about 45 miles and I have about 56 miles to get to my work place which amounts to almost 200 miles A DAY between the two of us. I hate that, but there's not anything I can do about it. R could conceivably take the train and the T once he gets into Boston, but it's more expensive to do that than it is to drive...I could work in Worcester, but there aren't any jobs. And we can't afford for R to take public transportation for now, especially if the MBTA cuts the commuter rail service significantly like they've been talking about (for example, no service after 6 PM...if you work until 5:30 then you can't catch a 6 PM train. BOO). If I get into a Boston PhD program we would be able to commute together a few days a week, but it's still a lot of fossil fuels being used up. And we can't afford a new hybrid, or even a used hybrid. So there you go.

Which just goes to show that being really environmentally friendly is expensive, up front in a lot of situations (hybrid cars, Photovoltaic systems) and in the long run in other ways (organic food). There's not a good organic or local food store near us-there's a Trader Joe's which isn't bad but they don't have a good produce section, and the nearest Whole Foods is in Shrewsbury, which is a good 30-40 minute drive. That and organic food is expensive-just shop around Whole Foods a little and you'll see. "But you should sacrifice" some might say. Well, when you've got almost 700 a month in student loan payments, a mortgage, car insurance, house insurance, health insurance, utilities, gas for the commute to and from work, and only one of you working a full time job (not me because there were no full time jobs) then there's not really a luxury to get the fancy food. To be honest I would prefer to buy local over organic, but I've found it ridiculously difficult to find anything local that's not an apple or a pumpkin (although Big Y does have a decent local food selection every now and then).

So what is a girl to do? Well, for starters we recycle alot. I would say we have more recycling every week than trash. I know that sounds like I'm still in 2nd grade and am learning to "reduce, reuse, and recycle" but there you go. We also maintain our cars-regular oil changes, tune ups, checking the tire pressure. R is so fab with cars that this is pretty easy, and regular car maintenance is better for the environment because it makes your car run more efficiently. We don't keep the house incredibly warm or cold. We've switched our light bulbs...I buy fair trade coffee.

But I never feel like it's enough. I don't know if I'll ever feel like I've done enough for our earth. But I DO plan on using cloth diapers whenever we have kids. And I've now entered the world of...resuable sandwich bags! I hate the disposable ones because they're so flimsy and plastic. Ugh. I try to reuse them but there comes a time when too much peanut butter is enough on the inside of one bag. So I got these:

They're reusable sandwich bags! These are made in western MA so not only are they resuable but they're also local. Win win! The bottom one (with the guitars) is a snack sized bag, and the top is a sandwich bag (although it's huge-my sandwiches would fit in the small one but a wrap or something wouldn't so I got a big one too). The inside is nylon and they close with velcro. You can wash and dry them by hand or stick them in the dishwasher. There are a bunch of different designs as well-these were just two that I liked. They're not really cheap-one was 6 something and the other 8 something, but since you can use them over and over again I think you'll save money in the long run. The website is: www.snacktaxi.com if you're interested. This week will be their trial run, but I think they'll be great.

Reusable bags aren't a huge step in the journey towards eco-friendliness, but it's something. And if it's what I can do right now, it's what I can do. If you know of any cheap methods of being more environmentally conscious, I'd love to hear them. Every little bit helps, you know?

Grrr and Yay!

2009-10-07T21:20:00.003-04:00

I'm a non-confrontational person. I realize there are times when confrontations can bring about change in good ways, but the violence inherent in such meetings goes against my nature. My heart rate goes up and I immediately feel as though I'm about the burst into tears--and not from sadness (I wish I could be that compassionate) but from the sheer anger and frustration of it all. This doesn't happen very often to me...seriously, only once every few months, if that.

Well, tonight was one of those moments, and of course it had to do with driving. I'm not an aggressive driver and never have been. Sure, I go about 5 mph above the speed limit but that's about the extent of it. Tonight, while waiting to make a left, an Impatient Truck (henceforth referred to as IT) pulled up behind me. There was a car coming and it looked like I would have time to turn after them, but the car was going to make a right so slowed down. The car behind that car caught up...now, I could have made the left at the same time as the right-turning car (people do it up here for whatever ridiculous reason) but I didn't want to get in a wreck. So I waited. The IT behind me thought this was a bad idea, so they honked. Then, when the person had turned right and the other car came through the intersection and I didn't turn right before it, the IT honked again (driven by a man, by the way). So I have to run a yellow light to make the left and the IT follows. Of course.

I will admit that I didn't speed up as fast as I often do, but in my defense I'm getting used to a new car with an engine that's a little smaller than my previous car. It wasn't like I was going only 15...I got up to the speed limit of 25 and the next left turn was only a quarter mile away. So I make that left, with IT still behind me.

We start driving down Lake Ave. I'm going 35 mph which is above the speed limit of 30. People usually go 45 down Lake, but alot of people run and bike along it (including myself) so I keep the speed low. IT tails me. And tails me. And tails me. Then-and here's the kicker-righgt before the start of a grass barrier in the middle of the road, IT passes me ON THE LEFT IN THE INCOMING TRAFFIC LANE. As he passes, I flip him off. I was so mad...not only was this guy putting me in danger but he was endangering everybody else. I would like to point out, too, that I don't flip people off. It's pointless, but I didn't know what else to do (and to be fair it didn't make me feel any better). So THEN this jerk passes me and the minute he gets in front of me he slams on his brakes and goes 20 mph. I'm pretty sure he was trying to cause me to rear-end him, ruining my car and putting me at fault. And I had no illusions that this guy wouldn't haul off and hit me-he was that aggressive. Luckily I pay attention and so I slowed down and no problems. He sped off (at 50 mph I estimate...it was fast) and I actually catch up to him at the light (vindication!). Luckily he wasn't going to same direction as I was, but I was seriously worried that he was going to get out of his car and come try and attack me. It was really scary...and I know my flipping him off didn't provoke him (he was already an a**) but still.

So. Moral of the story? There isn't one really. I just needed to vent (although R did give me a big hug when I told him about it). Well, maybe I could say that flipping someone off is not as cathartic as we think it's going to be. I think it just made me feel worse.

But seriously. The nerve of some people.

But on the YAY side of things, my brother had his 6 month CT scan today-and he's still cancer free! I can't even begin to convey what a blessing this is, although I'm sure you can imagine (especially those who've been affected by cancer in some way, shape, or form). Maybe some day I'll blog about all of that, because I didn't do it too much during the past year, but not today. Today was a day of thanksgiving. Praise God, from whom all blessings most definitely do flow.

And Skype rocks my world. Not only did it help R and I get through the past year and this summer of being apart (although the phone had worked just fine before that), but I got to Skype with my sister and nephew today! It was AWESOME and totally made my day (along with my brother's news). I got to see Mom and Dad, who are both sick so couldn't really talk, but E and B and I had a great half-hour conversation. I got to show B the kittens (he was really excited about them) and by the end he wanted me to read him a book. And it was so great to see my sister. It's tough living so far away...a friend likened homesickness to soulsickness. I think he was on to something! Hopefully the whole family will be able to come to the ordination in January, though, and then we can have some time together! Skype rocks, but you can't give a person a hug through Skype.

And the weight watchers beef pepper steak I made for dinner was pretty darn good. Tomorrow night's choice? We're indulging with Trader Joe's Indian food and watching our Thursday night TV lineup-Jim and Pam are getting married, after all!

So that was my evening. How was yours?

Personality

2009-10-03T13:08:00.003-04:00

I feel like maybe I should put a link to "Cult of Personality" here. I didn't really know the song too well a month ago, but it's on one of our Guitar Hero games and R likes it so there you go. Anywho...

Those of you who know me well may know that I'm a dog person, through and through. I've never had a dog of my own: my brother got a dog-who was incidentally put to sleep about a month ago God rest her mischievous soul- and my sister got a dog and my mom got a dog. Never worked out for me, mostly because I was old enough by the time my sister got one that I was going to go to college and couldn't take it with me. So one of my life goals has been to get a dog. I would love to have a lab of some sort-while I love all of my family's dogs, I think our lab fits my personality best. On top of that my boss has a black lab puppy and this has reinforced my belief that a lab is my dog: playful, smart, loving, and admittedly somewhat of a hellian. Sounds perfect to me! It seemed like the perfect opportunity to get a dog when I got married and moved into a house for the first time (I've been living in apartments of varying quality since college), however our house isn't very big and R and I don't really live a dog life at the moment. Since we both have long commutes this means the puppy would have had to be inside for too long at a time. It seems that a dog is going to have to wait until we move to a bigger place with more space, a bigger yard, and within 15 minutes commuting distance (by car...I would LOVE to be able to commute to work by bike) from our house. Not to mention that R is not a dog person, so he has to get accustomed to the idea.

R is, however, a cat person. They've had cats in his family for most of his life, and he adores the two that live with his parents-Jimi (or Jimmy...don't know which) and Mia. We wanted to get a pet, and since a dog is out for now cats seemed the most likely choice. I've never really been a cat person, but I was willing to get some because I figured if they had a good personality it wouldn't matter.

And so, may I introduce to my blogging community:
Leela

And Gizmo!!!
They're about 3 months old now. We got them a month ago from a local animal shelter. These pictures were just taken a few minutes ago, so they're the most recent that some of you will have seen (I've got smaller kitten pictures on Facebook that many of you have most likely seen). And these cats have got some personality.

We were told they're from the same litter, and while Leela is black and Gizmo obviously is not, they do seem to have the same bone structure, and they're about the same size. Gizmo is fluffier than Leela, however. I took them to the vet yesterday for a round of vaccines and expected Giz to outweigh Leela but surprise! They were the same. Go figure. It's funny these are the kittens we got, because we almost passed them up. At the shelter, you could go from cage to cage and take the kittens out and interact with them. There was one domestic medium hair who had a great personality and we were close to picking her as one of our kittens (we wanted to get two so they would have some company during the day!), and when we got to the cage with Gizmo, Leela, and their brother, odds were not good. Gizmo, when I took him out to hold him, was TERRIFIED. He wasn't struggling to get away, but he was clinging onto my shirt for dear life, and just had this look of utmost fear on his face. And he was shaking-not that I blame him too much. I imagine life in a shelter is stressful, but his personality wasn't exactly shining through. Leela wasn't quite as scared (which is her nature-she's gutsier than Gizmo) but still was shaking and such. So we put them back and moved on. When we circled around again, though, I watched them in their cage and they were so playful! I went out on a limb suggesting we get these two, and Rick agreed that they had some personality, they were just too stressed to show it.

So what are these personalities? Well, Gizmo is an attention hound. He was the most shy at first, so I worked hard that first day to pet him and make him comfortable. Now he's always begging for attention-from bringing a toy to us while we're watching TV, to coming into the shower with me (he fell in yesterday-pretty hilarious). He has the loudest purr I've ever heard. If we'd known it was this low when we got him, I'm pretty sure we'd have named him Diesel. Oh well. I like the name Gizmo better anyway. He's a troublemaker too-he loves the kitchen table, loves stealing the bag of treats (closed thank the Lord) from the coffee table before we clip their nails, and generally getting into other bouts of mischief. He's really curious too, which can be funny to watch. The first time I showed him himself in the mirror was a sight to see! He loves to be held, especially on his back so he can have his tummy scratched.

Leela is very different, which I didn't really expect since they're siblings. She's fearless-you turn on the vacuum and she just looks at you, whereas Gizmo is already hiding somewhere. She's really friendly and loves to be held and petted, but only on her terms. If you pick her up unawares, chances are she'll tolerate you for about 20 seconds and then be ready to move on. She's often following her brother around, but sits and watches him do whatever goofy thing he's up to. It's really funny to watch them with the toys too. Gizmo will attack the mouse on the string outright, without really waiting. Leela-she really hunts this thing. I think I know now why females are the hunters of the cat world...

Oh and both of our kittens growl like dogs. It's really strange, but so funny. Who knew?

So yeah. Our cats have personality. They get into everything. They LOVE to eat. They like sleeping on top of me when I'm reading on the couch. And they're fantastic.

Seasons

2009-09-28T21:07:00.002-04:00

You may have noticed that I changed my blog background recently. Earth Day is cool and everything, but I needed a change-so fall it is! I've been thinking a lot about seasons lately--not the "seasons of life" or "seasons of change" or whatever, but the actual seasons of the year. Summer. Fall. Winter. Spring. Being from Kentucky I'm used to four very distinct seasons. New England has them as well, but they're definitely different. So I thought I would write about how they're different TO ME (please don't start responding saying I'm totally wrong about seasons here, it's just my take!), mostly because when these Yankees hear I'm from the South they automatically say "Oh well you must not know what winter's like!" Yeah right. Read on for my response...

We'll start with Summer. First I should define what I mean by summer, and I'm sure this completely changes how I decide when summer begins and ends. Summer is, for me, a time of heat, thunderstorms, lightening bugs, gardening, reading, swimming, camping, and generally doing outdoor things. And mosquitoes. Summer in Massachusetts (and mind you, I've only been up here for two summers so I'm still learning on this one) is a rather short affair. It actually starts in earnest around the actual start of summer (June 20-21st-ish) but ends around Labor Day weekend. Yes, it is still warm after labor day, but the nights are getting cooler and there's a very very slim chance that I would even consider going swimming outdoors. And I feel like I can't wear white shoes, which is weird because I never had this hang up back home. Strange. Sometimes summer comes even later--I wasn't in Mass for summer this year, but from what I heard from R it was pretty cold into the beginning of July. Cold and rainy. And I should point out that Massachusetts doesn't have much in the way of thunderstorms (my roomates from MA my first year in Boston had no idea what to do during a tornado and didn't believe me about the sky turning green). In Kentucky, summer starts in mid-May (sometimes earlier) and goes until early October (sometimes later). There's not really an "Indian Summer" (I don't know the politically correct name for it so I apologize to those who might be offended) in MA that I've noticed, but there is at home. Just because the leaves are changing doesn't mean it's sweatshirt weather.

Fall, for which New England is famous, is longer here than in Kentucky. For example, it's already gotten down into the 30s at night. Oh yeah and my definition--fall is a time of colder nights and warm-er days, with temperature highs ranging from the 40s-60s. Leaves are changing, geese are flying...and college football is being played. Woohoo! This is pretty standard in Massachusetts, I've found, but fall starts earlier than the actual autumnal equinox and ends in November, be it early or mid or late. In Kentucky it tends to be about the same length, but starts and ends later (October-sometime from late Nov. to early Dec.).

Winter. That time of year when it's always dark and it's under 40 degrees day and night. OK listen here Yankees-you don't have to corner market on winter. Seriously. I keep trying to explain to people that we HAVE winter in the upper South. We don't get tons of snow as consistently as New England does, but yes it snows and yes it gets cold. Just ask anyone in Louisville about the ice storm last year. Or the January of 1994 and they'll explain to you about winter. In fact, I'd venture to say that the midwest can trump New England's winters anytime. It's so friggin' cold out there. The main difference between winter in MA and winter in KY? Length. I swear the winter up here goes from December (or November) to March and it's awful. While I still act like I'm 10 when it snows (because it wasn't common enough back home for me to get used to it) I quickly tire of it when I am helping R shovel day after day, or when I'm worried about R because he fell on the ice or is shoveling more with a bad back. Boo hiss.

Spring. Spring is hard to grasp, I think. Temps are back in the 50s and 60s, but there are the inevitable cold snaps. Spring in KY would, I'd say, start in early March and go to mid-May. There will still be snow once and a while on Derby day, but for the most part things are getting green. Spring in New England is even harder to get a handle on. I met some folks I went to high school with the other day in Cambridge, and we all agreed March is the hardest month for a Kentuckian in Massachusetts. For us, March is when things green up-everything takes on that greenish-yellow haze, thanks to the pollen. And through your tear-filled eyes you could see the daffodils starting to say hello. March in Kentucky has such wonderful green potential. March in Mass? No dice. Everything is still brown. It's still cold. And it's probably still snowing. I have a really tough time in March, tougher than at any other season change. The winter's worn me down and my clock has already switched to spring. But it's still brown and dead-looking. Granted, this does make April that much nicer and provides a very Easter-y feeling to the appearance of all things green, but that doesn't make up for the March doldrums. Say what you want about February, but March is worse.

So there you go. In case you hadn't figured it out, I'm a complete nerd about the weather. When we were little, my sister would watch Dirty Dancing, my brother would watch the Wizard of Oz, and I would watch the Weather Channel.

And for those of you who were interested, my favorite season is summer.

Oh and I also like to keep track of the seasons with the beer selection...

Car Craziness

2009-09-24T20:02:00.002-04:00

For those of you who have known me since high school, you may (or may not know-college friends definitely will) that I inherited the family car curse. My dad's dad had it, my dad has it, and I got it too. Most of my cars have been complete clunkers-they work at first, and then make a rather rapid and sudden decline into the abyss. This continued until I met R, who is a super human car guy. He's done tons of stuff with vehicles-it's a real gift he has. I mean, most people could probably fix a car well enough (even I can change the oil and change a tire and air filter and battery and know where the alternator is) but R has a feel for things that most people don't have. So when it came time for me to get rid of Clifford the big red truck, I told R to pick out the car and I would drive whatever it was. He insisted I have a say but I told him that would just bring on the curse. So he found the car and checked it out and gave the go ahead. All of the issues I've encountered (KNOCK ON WOOD) have been fixable by my super mechanic man.

But seriously, there's a limit to things. R actually told me the other day that he was planning on taking the fall off from car duty. This is HUGE. He hadn't told me this before and only told me when it was no longer going to happen (you'll find out why below). He loves his cars, and while he isn't one to neglect me in order to work on one (at least intentionally, sometimes he gets carried away) he does enjoy wrenching and getting things done. And since we both have 1.5 hour commutes each way to work every day, we have to keep the vehicles in working order. So the fact that he was going to take the fall off-except for minor stuff like oil changes, etc.-was a huge deal. But it is no longer to be.

A couple of weeks ago while fixing something totally unrelated, the transmission on R's Subaru (Rudy) died. He was afraid he'd done something to cause it, but it was just an unhappy coincidence. I'm just glad it happened while he was wrenching in the driveway and not on the road way. This happened a mere two or three days after a radiator hose blew on the way home. That happened to be a Thursday, the day when I go into Cambridge to do academic stuff, so I called a good friend who came out, picked R up, and they went to the car parts store while I sat with the car. R came back, fixed the car on the side of some neighborhood road with nothing more than the store parts and what he had in his trunk, and we took my friend out to dinner. Then the transmission died while he was finishing the work from the radiator hose bursting. SO...he had to decide. Keep Rudy and find someone to replace the transmission? Part it out? What to do? R has decided to replace the transmission himself (he only made this decision after tons of research. I didn't help. While I have a grasp on car mechanics greater than most women my age, I think, I still don't get what he's talking about half of the time). Then he had to locate a parts car, which he found and bought last week. This weekend was spent doing some preliminary work so that he could get started in earnest this weekend.

While this is all going on, my car's alternator dies on my way to my first Sunday at the church. I'm crying on the side of the highway while the car won't start, trying to figure out why this is happening to me. R comes out (he was going to stay home to take the kittens who we thought were sick to the vet) with a battery and tools and we get the car rolling and get to church. Then the car dies again on the way home. Turns out it was the alternator, so he took the alternator out of the undriveable Rudy, put it in my car (Beethoven) and voila. Driveable car.

In the meantime, R's been driving the car that was supposed to me the replacement for Beethoven, and will be very soon (Jack Sparrow) when I switch to an MA license. I'm hoping this will be tomorrow. So I'll drive Jack and R will drive the Vanagon (Magic) until Rudy is up and running from Project Lazaru.

Phew. You think I'm done? Think again.

R got rear-ended yesterday on the way to work. The driver side rear bumper is punched in and the back light is all cracked up. It's fixable, but just one more thing we have to deal with now.

I'm thinking someone should just give me a Honda Insight or a Subaru Forester. And give R a car too. He can fix cars like nobody's business, but doesn't he deserve a break? Sheesh.

U2 Review and Various Other Things

2009-09-23T19:46:00.003-04:00

Sorry for the hiatus. I started a new job and all, so I've been trying to get things up and running there. Anyway, I'd love to say I'll blog more often (I always think that when I come back from a little time away) but I will just skip that for now.

Monday night R and I went to see U2 in concert at Gillette Stadium.

The good: It was an awesome show-I had goosebumps at times, and not from the rather chilly wind. The set list was fantastic: a great mix of old and new stuff. Sunday Bloody Sunday, Mysterious Ways, One, Where the Streets Have No Name, City of Blinding Lights, and Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For were probably my faves of the show. Vertigo also came off quite nicely. They opened with Magnificent (from the new album) which I love but I will explain more about why that wasn't a favorite below. The staging was pretty monumental too. We were way up in the nosebleed seats (about 15 rows from the very top of the stadium) so we weren't in the thick of things (unfortunately) but you could see the screens and stuff pretty well. At one point R did say, though, that if it weren't for the screens he wouldn't have known there was anyone on stage. Sorry, yo. I am too poor to afford better tickets. The tribute to Aung San Suu Kii (the nonviolent political leader from Myanmar who's been under house arrest for the past two decades) was really gutwrenching--they sang Walk On for that one. I'm guessing that particular date might have some significance but I don't know what it is. Anyway all in all I'm so glad I was able to go. I've wanted to see U2 live for a long time...hopefully I can get better seats next time!

The less good: Traffic. I know this is always an issue with concerts. I've been to my fair share of big events, and I know it's something you have to deal with. HOWEVER-there IS a train station in Foxborough that the MBTA only runs on Patriot game days even though it would severely lessen the strain on traffic if they ran it for weekday concerts like U2. R and I spent more time getting to and from the venue than we did actually at the concert. We missed the opening act (Snow Patrol; would have liked to have seen it but I knew we would miss it because R gets off work late and we even left an hour before he normally gets off!) and didn't get home until 2 AM, only to have to get up at 6 the next morning to drive back to work. Boo. But we did manage to park somewhere 10 dollars cheaper, so that was nice. Also, the echo effect from the upper deck was horrendous. I wish I'd taken ear plugs (I always say this at concerts) as that would have cleared up the sounds and made the music more enjoyable. I could barely tell what Bono was saying when he spoke to the crowd. It was rather ridiculous, but I guess you get what you pay for. Speaking of which, the upper deck was also kinda crappy energy-wise. We were sitting for all of the show (I wasn't going to be the one person to stand up who made everyone behind me stand up because they couldn't see) and so the energy you could see from the field was obviously not radiating upwards. I think Magnificent kind of flopped for me because no one really seemed into it. Yet another reason to pay extra for better seats! My last gripe: the Euro-Latino weird techno rock-y version of I Know I'll Go Crazy (If I Don't Go Crazy Tonight). It's a great song but the version they did was just weird. But I did get a cool hat (for 30 dollars).

So YAY for U2!

In other news, I'm doing PhD apps. I've been reading stuff by the professors with whom I want to work, and tomorrow I'm going to work on outlining my personal statements as well as reading a few things to beef up my writing sample. I'm applying to 9 programs in all (as of no, 1 or 2 may drop out because I just can't figure out a way to make them fit) and I've been in contact this year with folks from 2 school...and I was in contact with several people from different schools last year but I'm assuming alot of the same info is the same. Interestingly enough, BC is looking better and better. There are 3 early modernists in the history department and all 3 have been in touch with me. Hopefully I'll be going for a visit sometime in the next month. The level of...cordiality? Collegiality? Seems really great. One even said she'd be more than happy to serve on my dissertation committee and that I'm welcome to say that in my application. And I have a meeting on Oct. 1 with another potential professor at HDS. I was at Yale last week to speak with someone so yeah. That's good. I just need to finalize recommenders (I've got two of three...debating on the 3rd right now) and that nitty gritty work will be done. Then it's on to the applications! I'm applying to more history programs than any thing else (again) this year. I think it's something like 6 or 7 history depts. and 2 or 3 theology places (can't think of them off the top of my head at the moment).

The job has been going pretty well. I've gotten a really great reception at the church and everyone seems on board with what I'm doing (so far). I preached this past Sunday...the sermon is on the parish website (which you can figure out what it is on my facebook profile...I'm trying to be relatively anonymous on the blog about where I work so random people can't figure it out) and it got a good response. Yay! And this Saturday is the first youth group meeting...AND it looks like I'm going to be putting together a U2charist (a service with entirely U2 music that's dedicated to fighting global poverty...I did one in Louisville in 2006) at this parish. Yeehaw! Hopefully I'll know more about my priestly ordination date sometime soon. I emailed the diocese today but haven't heard anything. Who knows how long that will take!

Beyond that I'm trying to get over the cold I had last weekend. I have been feeling better but today the pressure in my head has been weird. I think it's because the weather has been kinda weird around these parts, so my left ear and right sinus have been off. Ew. And R is sick (he blames U2) so no fun.

Leaves are changing and fall is on the way. It sucks because winter will be here too soon but it makes the drive into work really pretty. I'll try to take pictures and post them for you non-New England folks to see what the fuss is apparently about (I don't think it's any better than back home but whatever).

Alright our kittens are begging for attention so I should go. Hopefully I'll be back on board this blog this time!

Hmm.

2009-08-26T18:25:00.001-04:00

I'm thinking of making this blog private, so I can talk about things going on in my life that it otherwise might not be prudent to do publicly (like work, for example). If you actually read this blog, make a comment and let me know and I can add you to the list of readers, should I go private. Otherwise I'll just talk about work elsewhere : )

More Waiting

2009-08-12T17:30:00.002-04:00

I think I wrote a post with a similar title a couple of months ago. Oh well. It seemed apropos to the moment, so I'm going with it again.

Right now feels like a period of waiting for me-for those of you who know me well, you will know that I hate waiting. I'm not usually (at least I don't think I am) overly vocal about not wanting to wait, but there it is. I don't know if impatience is the right word-it's not that I want whatever's coming to hurry up and get here, it's just that I don't like sitting around feeling that I have nothing to do.

So that's where I'm at. It's not that I don't have anything to do. The house needs organizing, I still have thank you's to write, and I want to get started on my Greek. These are important things but they're not...steady, I guess. It's hard to clean the house when my other half isn't here to help figure out where things are supposed to go. Thank you's don't take forever (although it seems like it sometimes) and the Greek will be a steady discipline, but that's admittedly hard to get into when there's no other steady routine in my life.

I think part of it is also that I don't really know what to expect as of September 1. To be honest, I really really want to be going back to school. That's where I feel called to be; but I know something good will come of this year (and hopefully it's only a year!) off. I've started making some inquiries about PhD stuff so I can get that underway.

But back to September 1st...the rector is out of town for another week at the very least. I'll hopefully start moving into my office next week, but I don't know who to contact to get started with Christian Ed and youth stuff or what to expect even. I'm basically taking over this entire Christian Ed set up and getting a youth group really underway (they've had something but I'm not sure how steady it's been) and I don't know how many kids they have or what the commitment level is like. I've started looking at some Sunday School and youth group ideas, but without any familiarity with this place I have NO IDEA if any of it is going to work. It's not exactly anxiety producing, it's just more of a WTF? reaction. I think I've got two weeks once I start to get everything organized for the big program kickoff on September 15.

I think what's hardest about this particular situation is that I can't sit around and start planning in my head what I'm going to do. And in case you hadn't figured it out already, I'm a planner at heart. I like to have some idea of a trajectory in mind whenever I start out on something. This helps me keep big pictures in my view while at the same time allows me to deal with the details. Without a big picture, though, I'm having a hard time with details.

Oh well. I'm sure it will all work out in some way or another. I have, like I said, been looking at youth stuff. J2A is my first inclination, although I'm told that this parish isn't very excited about prepackaged things (which is odd as the Sunday School is a prepackaged thing and has been hugely successful). I may still push for it though; I never went through J2A but it's been successful at every parish I've seen, so it has potential. Slightly different but yet equally exciting, though, is a program through the United Methodist Church called "Synago" (Greek for "coming together"). It's a small group set-up that is led by the students with adult "encouragers" or something of that sort to kind of guide but not really lead. I think this has some really great potential and would be interested in exploring it more. If anyone out there has done Synago or knows someone who has, let me know!

That's about all for me. I'm going to go read now.

The Fourth Bear, Jasper Fforde

2009-08-11T11:22:00.002-04:00

The Fourth Bear is the second book in the Nursery Crime series by Jasper Fforde. Some of you may have read his other (a bit older and perhaps more famous) series, the Thursday Next novels. I was introduced to Fforde through Thursday Next via my mom, and in fact read the 2nd book (Lost In A Good Book) before reading the first (The Eyre Affair). I was hooked. Fforde's writing is not only brilliant, but his use of the literary world is superb. In fact, I read Jane Eyre after reading the Eyre Affair so that I could go back and reread the Fforde book to understand it better. It definitely worked.

With the Nursery Crime series it appears I will be following the same model-2nd book before the first. The hero of the series is Jack Spratt, head of Reading/Berkshire's Nursery Crime Division. In this detective book we are taken to a world so enticingly similar to our own that you may think you'll see an anthropomorphic Bear walking down the street, or an alien Rambosian working on your office ceiling. Fforde's world in the Nursery Crime series (unlike the Thursday Next novels, where it's a parallel reality) is so much like our own that we grow comfortable. Then, at the next turn, a nursery character comes bowling you over just to prove that things aren't always what they seem.

The basic plot of the book is somewhat convoluted, but I guess many detective novels are that way. I personally don't read mysteries all that often, but this didn't strike me as a mystery (although I don't know if "crime" and "mystery" and "Fantasy" all go together but Fforde makes it work). Jack Spratt with his co-worker Mary Mary and alien Rambosian Ashley is dismayed to find that he is not put on the case when the serial killer Gingerbreadman escapes from prison. What would normally be a case given to the Nursery Crime Division is relegated to another part of the force, due to NCD's mess up of the case involving Little Red Riding Hood, a Wolf, and her Grandmother. Spratt is forced to go on "leave" due to doubts about his sanity, so he works on the side with Mary investigating the disappearance of Goldilocks. This takes him into the Ursuline world of Berkshire as well as the realm of extreme cucumber growing.

Fforde is a fantastic writer, and those who may have been daunted by the literary prowess required to read most fully the Thursday Next novels will find in these books that the realm of Nursery Rhyme is king (although if you don't know about Punch and Judy-non Anglophile Americans will likely have this issue-then look them up before you read) and the stories you learned as a child will pop back up in new and interesting ways.

Sound crazy? It is. But it is so deliciously wonderful that you'll keep reading and find yourself alternately craving cucumbers and gingerbread.

P.S. If you want my honest opinion, Fforde's books far outwit and outmatch Gregory Maguire's stuff. I like Maguire, but Fforde is definitely more...fun.

Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly by Anthony Bourdain

2009-08-07T11:00:00.002-04:00

All those addicted to the Travel Channel will be familiar with Bourdain's show No Reservations in which our host and guide travels to various points of interest around the globe and samples the local food culture, usually with his own guide from that particular place. It's a great show. R and I watch it pretty religiously (although the new season I think started while we were on our honeymoon and the 2nd episode was while I was moving): Bourdain is funny, insightful, and (sometimes suprisingly) culturally sensitive. All in all, it's a good watch.

It seemed only natural, then, to turn to Bourdain's somewhat groundbreaking book--at least in terms of his celebrity career--for more of a taste of this guy's thoughts on food. He's written several more, which I would love to read, but until I get my library card I'm limited with this one. I would like to point out, from the beginning, that I am not what you would call a "foodie." I don't think I have ever been to a two star restaurant (via the Michelin guide) not out of dislike, more out of the fact that I can't afford it. But I do like food and am willing to try new things, especially when in new places (Chavappi in Sarajevo, for example...). So it was with excitement that I turned to Bourdain's book on kitchen life.

For those who have watched the show (not Kitchen Confidential, although I hear there was a TV show based on it...so R tells me. Neither of us have seen it though), you will definitely hear Bourdain's voice in his writing. It is unmistakably his and makes for an easy and enjoyable read.

There's some material in there that I am sure will be shock value to some: don't order fish on Mondays, that brunch you New Englanders are so fond of (because you aren't in church!!!) is cooked by the B team chefs and on top of that is not filled with the freshest ingredients, restaurants recycle their bread, sending unused bread back to the kitchen and back out to the tables, etc. I'm not sure why any of this would come as a surprise to anyone--the food industry is just as much about cutting costs as any place else. Besides, if you're eating at a 3 star restaurant, why would you want to fill up on bread in the first place? That's my view anyway. Once you get past these revelations (almost entirely contained within the chapter "From Our Kitchen to Your Table") you can focus on Bourdain's story.

It's the story that makes this book such a good read. There are several chapters that are more along the lines of "how to cook like a pro" or "my typical day" type of things, and those provide useful interludes in Bourdain's turbulent life, but they aren't the real meat of the book. What is so compelling about this, at least to me, is watching this man discover the glory of food as a child, fall away from his goals, and climb back to where he is today, making various discoveries about food (duh) but more importantly people along the way. I think that is what makes Bourdain's show such a draw-it's not just this guy walking around eating stuff-you hear him reflect on his journey pretty honestly. Kitchen Confidential is much the same sort of thing.

So. You don't need to be a "foodie" or food snob to read this book. You don't even have to have seen his show. It's a quick and easy read with some interesting insights into the side of the restaurants business most of us never see-the kitchen.

Grrr...Health Insurance

2009-08-06T15:14:00.002-04:00

OK. I've moved to a state where there is "statewide healthcare" which really just translates into "it's against the law to be uninsured." Now, I want to start this by noting that I'm all for a more universal health care system, it's just that the one here is bad. I am experiencing this first hand. Welcome to my saga:

1. The first point of importance is that I have been offered health insurance through my employer. "Great!" you say. "That is wonderful news!" Hold up there, Positive Patty. While I'm not going to quote numbers here, let me just say that the cost of this health insurance is 39.4% of my salary. Let me say that again.

39.4% OF MY ENTIRE SALARY!!!!!!

That is, to say the least, ridiculous. Especially when one considers the fact that I have student loans aplenty to pay off-student loans that I took out in order to go to school and be a productive member of society (so I don't want to hear it from the "look at all of those students borrowing money they can't afford" folks. That's crap.)

2. Point number two. R's work DOES have an option for me to go on his insurance. We looked into it, but the ridiculous thing is that the cost skyrockets from his individual plan to adding me on. It's nowhere near the cost of insurance through my work (with R it would cost half of what it would cost for just me through work) but still. Expensive. So we decided to search for other avenues.

3. I started looking for insurance on my own. I found some plans that would save us money, as my work plan is completely out of my price range and the plan at R's work would still cost us a decent amount of money. I found a plan that looked pretty good, with no deductible, plenty of doctors in the area, and decent benefits (like 1 eye exam a year, 1 dental exam a year).

Guess what?

I found out today (because the website for the state that I had been using doesn't tell you this anywhere) that I am ineligible to enroll in an individual plan because I am offered health care through work.

4. See point 1.

Thus is my health care saga. It's ridiculous, seriously. Thank God for R's policy, otherwise I don't know what I would do. Live off of ramen noodles and electric heat, I guess.

Please, Obama and Congress. Fix this. This kind of thing is ridiculous. Ridonkulous, even.

Technical Note

2009-08-06T12:28:00.001-04:00

For those of you who are observant and curious, you'll see there are two Hilary contributors. Never fear...they're both me. I'm just lazy and get tired of signing out of one email account and signing into another just to write on the blog. I'd rather just be able to write. So there you go. At ease.

I'm Back!!!!

2009-08-03T21:55:00.003-04:00

Howdy faithful readers of a blog with no updates or anything else interesting to say, for that matter...I am back in New England! After a whirlwind (yet great) summer of family, ordination, vacation, wedding, and honeymoon, I am now back in Massachusetts getting moved into what is now our house (instead of only R's house) and getting ready for work which starts Sept. 1. It should be good, although I'm still a little bummed about not starting school in September. Oh well. Hopefully next year...and I think my writing sample this time is much better! I just need to start working on the statement.

To recap the summer, here are some highlights:

1. Ordination to the diaconate. It was a wonderful service and many people came to support myself and the other ordinand. It was on a Friday so R couldn't come, but other than that it was great! A friend preached an awesome sermon that rocked. And then I served the summer at St. Mark's as a deacon which was fun.

2. Family vacation to NOLA. We hadn't gone on vacation since 1994, so this was a big change! We decided to do it about a week before we left-super spontaneous but great! I also got to see my college chaplain while I was there, which was wonderful. It was a great week spent with the fam, just hanging out. All around a good time.

3. Everyday stuff. Blaine playing tball. Blaine learning to swim with the water wings (he's swimming on his back now-kind of)! Gardening, although this year's wasn't as much of a success as last year's. Hanging out with my family. Going to baseball games. Grilling. Sitting in the pool. Going on evening walks with Erin and Blaine and one of the dogs (or two).

4. Wedding!!! It was PERFECT. The reception was perfect. The honeymoon was perfect. R and I couldn't have asked for anything better. It was a wonderful day. It rained (which is supposed to be lucky) but only at those times when we were inside, so the luck was already working for us! Disney World was fantastic as well. It was all good. : ) I will try to post one or two pictures once I have some.

5. Moving. Most of you know how I feel about moving, but it's a necessary evil. Right now I'm unpacking my stuff and getting moved into our house. It's going slowly but I think I can have most of it done by the end of the week, which will be good, as I need to start on thank you's (my project for next week). Once we're moved in and everything is in place I can take pictures of the house and post them on Facebook. Even those who have seen it before will see some new stuff (matching bedroom set, coordinated bathroom and those oh so important curtains).

6. And the summer's not over yet! I start work Sept. 1 so I have about 3.5 weeks to get settled in and such. I'll start moving stuff into my office towards the end of August. R and I are going camping soon. We have furniture to buy as well and maybe-just maybe-kittens!

So that's what I've been up to. I haven't been good with the movie and book reviews. Movie wise I really only saw HP 6 (which was awesome) and re-read the Outlander and HP series. But I DID just finish Kitchen Confidential so I can write a bit about that and about Harry Potter. I'll save that for another day, though.

KY Summer

2009-06-08T23:42:00.002-04:00

Hey there. Sorry I haven't updated in a while. It's been a crazy month, to say the least. I'll just do a run down of each event and then an update of where I am now...
1. Graduation from Yale. Yep. Finished that degree. I also won the liturgics prize from Berkeley (the Episcopal divinity school that is part of Yale Divinity School). that was a HUGE surprise but great news, as it will look great on my resume and was also pretty cool. And I graduated Summa. Most graduate schools don't do latin honors, but some apparently do. And YDS is one of them. So there you go. I knew my grades were good, but I thought I had one H- too many for Summa. So yay there. My mom, dad, and brother were up for the event, and Rick came down as well. So there we go. MAR- game over.

2. Job stuff. I interviewed pretty seriously at 3 places and actually got an offer at one of them! I'm not going to say specifics here, but it will be really really good, I think. There was another position that also would have been great but I got this offer first AND it's closer to Worcester. Even though the other one paid more money, Rick and I decided the closer one would be better in the long run. So that's good. I'll start in late August. Woohoo! Employment-check. It is starting as part time, but hopefully there will be an arrangement that will move it to full time. But I have some ideas of other things to do for about 10 hours a week to pick up a little extra cash.

3. Ordination. It's coming up. Details are pretty much finalized, I just have a few more things to send in for the program. I think it will be really good, although one of the people I wanted to be part of it is going to be in AZ! That TOTALLY sucks but oh well-nothing I can do about it!

4. Moving. Sheesh. I HATE moving-just ask Rick about how I turn into a beast everytime I have to move. Seriously. I'm so glad he loves me, otherwise he would probably think I'm insane. I moved out of the house in New Haven and into storage in MA in early May. Then, Rick's roommate found a new place to stay so he moved out on June 1 and I moved my stuff out of storage and into Rick's house (soon to be OUR house!!!! Yay!!!!) so I wouldn't have to pay for storage for the summer. God bless Rick-he's willing for my stuff to be in boxes in various places in his house until I get up there in August. But we DID set up the former roommate's room into our office. It was really exciting. Perhaps stupidly so, but it's the first room that we've really set up together from scratch, so it feels like a place in the house that is ours. That probably sounds stupid, but it's pretty cool.

5. KY. Now I'm in KY until the wedding. Doing various things really, but mostly just hanging out with my family. Getting ordained and married, of course, so the wedding prep will be taking up some time, but today, for example, my sister and I took Blaine on his first trip to King's Island (our favorite theme park just north of Cincy). It was awesome. It will be even more awesome when he's tall enough to ride the Beast and Whitewater Canyon, etc., but he loved the rides and it was great to see him giggle and squeal with excitement on them.

So that's what I've been doing. I may not update too much this summer, but will hopefully keep up with the book reviews. I'm rereading a series right now, so once I'm done with it I'll post on it. then I think I'm going to tackle this Michael Ramsey book. Hell yeah.

Survive! By Les Stroud

2009-05-19T17:19:00.003-04:00

I just finished reading Survive! by Survivorman host Les Stroud. Rick and I got into his show somewhat randomly (I think Rick had seen it once and we happened upon it one night) and we were hooked. I think we're going to register for seasons of it for the wedding. Anyway Stroud has written a book about the basics of survival, full of various tips. I bought it for Rick for valentine's day, and when my Amazon copy didn't come in on time I bought him another, and forgot about the Amazon one (which eventually arrived and I meant to ship back) until last week. So I decided to read it.

All in all: a good read-but only if you're into camping and such. It's full of small bits of story, but that's not really what the book is about. If you want to read narratives of survival, find something else. This is about how to survive if you're caught in such a situation. Therefore, it's not a book that will likely be of interest to a person who never goes outside, much less goes camping (there's a small chapter on natural disasters at home but it's not worth buying the book for that chapter-anyone who lives in tornado/hurricane/blizzard/earthquake country will know what he says already).

The "good" of the book: Les's tips are expressed clearly (minus one about making a torch bark bundle-I couldn't figure that one out) and accompanied with easy to understand illustrations. He does not assume too much when he explains things, noting at some point in the book that beginners will be using this as well. Furthermore, he skips out on the fancy survival skills that only those who have taken courses will know. He assumes that you're just someone going camping who ends up in the situation. It's about the simplest way to keep you alive and get you out of there. End of story. Thus the skills are in many ways pretty rudimentary, but not necessarily things you would think of on your own (like solar stills, for example, or vegetation stills).

Also, if you are someone who goes camping, you will be heartened (or at least I was) to see some things you already know. He describes filtering water with a filter made on your own-likely with rocks or ever smaller sizes, sand and charcoal-a filter I was already aware of. That shouldn't make you overly confident, but I think Stroud's book is excellent in that it doesn't make you feel like an idiot. Skills you may already have can be useful in survival.

It should be said that this book could be taken as one full of bragging. There's lots of "When I was in X place, I did Y to stay alive and came out very well." Normally that would bug the hell out of me. In this case, however, I think it engenders trust in the teacher (Stroud). I don't want necessarily to try doing something if it seems that it hasn't worked for anyone. Yet there's a confidence in Stroud that comes from reading this book and watching his show.

The "bad" of the book: There's not much bad about it. It's not a particularly entertaining read, but it got my imagination going, if only because I was thinking of camping trips I'd like to plan. I started to skim over the Africa and Jungle and Arctic sections. I don't live those places and am not going anytime soon, so it seemed like a waste of time to read. The boreal forest stuff was much more interesting to me. And mountains. That said, it's nice to have the extra info on hand should I travel to one of these places.

Now, for my biggest beef with the book, I have to start with the caveat. I don't think this is necessarily beef with the book itself, but I couldn't help but read this stuff and think "I either have to practice this over and over or memorize the book or backpack with it for this to be helpful." Some people have survived with skills they remembered from the show, and I think the same thing could be the case for the book, but there's so much info packed into it that I would rather just take it along. Only books are heavy...so I thought about maybe creating a smaller reference that can be on laminated index cards for a survival kid. That might have been useful to put in the book as well-little reminders that will jog your memory about the larger text.

So there you go. Read this book if you're going camping or backpacking or whatever. Or if you like survival reads. But don't be surprised if you get the itch to you into the wild when you're done with it...

Resisting Chemo

2009-05-19T17:13:00.002-04:00

I just happened upon this article on Yahoo News today. I think before I would have dismissed it, but I'm not sure I could do any such thing given the past year. I know there are all kinds of arguments for and against treatment, but I sit and read this article and am beyond flabbergasted. The oncologist says this kid has a 90% chance of survival if he undergoes the chemotherapy! Granted, chemo is no small thing. I watched my brother struggle through it. I was not the one being injected with those drugs, and I have no place to say how bad it is. But I watched him and it sucked. Big time. There's no way around that. But a 90% survival rate is pretty amazing. I can't believe the parents are just going to walk away from the medical treatment when doctors agree with the original prognosis and the kid's in pain. Somehow the child agrees with the parents though (not a far stretch, considering how defensive kids can be of their parents) but another question comes to mind: why can't this kid read? He's 13. The article does not mention significant learning disabilities, although they may be there, but he doesn't seem to understand what the chemo is meant to do.

This would be an interesting article to talk about in CPE. I had a few Jehovah's Witness patients during my time in CPE, and it was always interesting to see their reactions. One person in particular, when I introduced myself as the chaplain, said "I'm a Jehovah's Witness," clearly expecting me to understand that she had her own beliefs and I wasn't going to change them. I said, "That's fine. I can still talk to you. I just came here to see how you were." And then she was able to express her fear at what was going on. It's amazing what you find out when you just talk to people.

Anyway I'm rambling, mostly because I have nothing to do and am rather bored. Hopefully Rick and I will go for a bike ride tonight when he gets home. The weather is perfect for one...

Running with Butterflies

2009-05-12T15:37:00.003-04:00

That's the title of a book if I ever write it. Anywho...

I've been running now somewhat on and off for a little over two years now. I usually feel pretty bad about my running abilities. I am a slow runner-about 11 minutes/mile is about my standard. Which means there are old people who run faster than I do. I think I could do OK for a 5K, and maybe even a 10K (which I'm hoping to do this summer), but I'm not sure I could qualify for the Boston Marathon because I'm so slow (you have to do a qualifying half marathon first). I can run for lengths of time...today I ran for 62 minutes. I'm just not sure I went all that far.

But something else happened today that actually made my running feel better. I was running at the Broad Meadow Brook wildlife sanctuary, one of my all time favorite places in Worcester, and as I came off of a trail and onto a wider gravel path that would take me back to the street, a butterfly came out of the reeds and flew alongside me. It wasn't that long-only about 10 seconds, but the fact of the matter was that our paces were perfectly matched! And then, as I was running back along the same path, another butterfly did the same thing!

So if anyone tries to tell me anything about my running speed being so slow (including my own subconscious), I know that I can run with butterflies. And that's pretty cool.

Blue Highways

2009-05-11T12:37:00.003-04:00

Well folks, here it is. The inauguration of my book reviews on this blog. Huzzah! Up first: Blue Highways by William Least Heat-Moon.

American literature is full of travel narratives: Huckleberry Finn, The Grapes of Wrath, On the Road, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance...the list goes on and on. Perhaps it speaks to a inherent need to "go" within the American. After all, even those who have been here the longest are descended from migrants traveling the land-bridge from Asia. If we sit and think on it, I'm sure most of us could come up with a list of travels that brought us to where we are. They may not be our own adventures-they may reach back hundreds of years. But the "going" is there. It's in our blood.

William Least Heat-Moon portrays such a going in his book. As his life falls apart-fired from his job, splitting up with his wife, feeling generally lost-he decides to drive around the country in a Ford Econoline van using only the "blue highways," or those roads represented by the blue lines on his atlas. No interstates. No chains (if he could avoid it). No hotels (for the most part). Just William and his van, Ghost Dancing. He literally travels around the country seeking something, but what exactly that something is the reader nor the author ever seem to know. Maybe he's just seeking America. Or maybe he's seeking himself. Or both. Read the book and decide for yourself.

The travelogue is full of interesting encounters between Heat-Moon and the residents of various towns and villages along the way. It was especially interesting (for me at least) to read of encounters in places I know or that are fairly close to home. It's pretty amazing to read how much some of these folks opened up to him; makes me wonder if people would do the same for me! (Although admittedly having a Greek textbook on an airplane does tend to get conversations rolling). The book is a great read and I think will get anyone itching to move. I was especially interested in his experiences in the bayous of Louisiana and on the Chesapeake Bay. I was pretty captivated by this read, not so much by the action (because to be honest it's not very "action packed") but by the honesty displayed by the author and the people in the book. I wanted to see who he would meet next, what they would say, what ridiculous name the town would have. There's something compelling about this travel narrative. It is very much about the author, but at the same time there's a kind of self-effacement that makes it about us as well.

Now, for a couple of downsides. The travels took place in 1978 and the book was published in 1983. I wasn't alive in 1978. I doubt I was even a twinkle in either of my parent's eyes at this point (I don't know if they had even met yet). That said, there are definitely times when the book feels dated, dated in ways that books like Huck Finn seems to avoid. Maybe it's because it is the recent past-it's like what he is writing about is that word on the tip of your tongue that you just can't seem to remember. The late seventies and early eighties are that way for me-I definitely didn't experience them, but I feel that if I try hard enough I could visualize/remember it. So the dated-ness of the book felt a little alienating at times, but that could be very much limited to those in my particular generation.

The other downside is the tendency towards a self-righteousness and divinization of the "old" that occurs throughout the book. I don't want to get on the author too much about the self-righteousness business. It's a sin most of us are guilty of, but at times it can be a bit unbearable. The divinization of the old is more problematic, however. At times I wonder if Heat-Moon doesn't want things to stay the same purely for the sake of staying the same. That to me seems just as bad as change for the sake of change. I am not advocating the idea of "progress," and as an historian and a church person I have a love of tradition. But what I've learned is that there has to be real meaning to those traditions and why we hang onto them. Otherwise we start to sound like old codgers who can't stand when anything changes. Too much of Heat-Moon's prose tends in this direction. Yes, chain restaurants can feel sterile and bad, and yes we too often let economic "progress" destroy national and local treasures. I do not doubt this. But some of Heat-Moon's characters see the problems with small towns staying exactly the same--the young people leave because there is no opportunity. It's more than the "nothing to do" of the teenage years. There seems to be a lack of future. The future Heat-Moon sees for these places is one of decline and destruction on the parts of the "rest of us" who don't live there, but there's a curious lack of suggestions for solutions on his part.

That said, you probably think I don't like the book. On the contrary, I thought it was great. The social historian in me loved it. The person with the travel bug in me loved it. And the reader in me loved it. It a great record of one man's travels on America's backroads, and makes me want to try a similar thing sometime (Rick and I have dreamed about driving Magic all the way down Route 66 some time...).

New England again

2009-05-08T11:59:00.002-04:00

For those of you who have been following this blog from its inception, you will remember that in June 2008 I started writing about things in New England that are great but aren't necessarily the big tourist-y things that you would normally think of when coming here (like Cape Cod, where Rick and I have yet to go). I've thought of a couple of others, and as I live here longer-but not forever, for the South is my home and we're going there in a few years-I want to keep recording these things for y'all.

Lime Rickeys are my next installment. This isn't a place, but a drink. Those of you who have been to New England may have experienced one of these things, but you may also have tried a frappe, which is a lame excuse for a milkshake in my mind (not as thick as a milkshake). The lime rickey reminds me of going to Sonic and getting a limeade. Yes, I realize Sonic is a big chain but their drinks are so damn delish that you just can't pass 'em up! Plus they have happy hour every day. And you can get an Ocean Water, have an insanely blue mouth, and annoy the hell out of my mom. : )

Anyway back to the Lime Rickey. The best place I've had one is at Bartley's Burgers in Harvard Square. The burger place is famous, but overpriced and not the best burgers in the world. O'Sullivans down on the Cambridge/Somerville border near Porter Square is MUCH better. But the Lime Rickeys at Bartley's are fantabulous. It is basically a carbonated drink (don't know if it's just seltzer water or Sprite) with lime juice and fresh limes. Some people enjoy the raspberry lime rickey, but I find that to be a travesty. Go for the plain lime ones. They're not as sweet as a lemon-lime cokes, but they're great and very refreshing and thirst-quenching.

So there you go. Lime Rickeys. And don't ask me where the name comes from because I have no earthly clue. I could wikipedia it but that would take away the mystery...

Number Two

2009-05-07T23:45:00.002-04:00

Well folks I've finished Masters degree number two. I took my final today and papers have all been turned in. Thus ends 20 years of continuous schooling. Now for a break, and then hopefully back for more school in a year or two!

Things are going OK I guess. I've been packing up my room and getting ready to move things into storage for the next month (at least) with the possibility of those things being there until after the honeymoon. It's funny though-tonight I wasn't really sure what to do with myself. After I had gotten tired of packing, I just sat there thinking "Huh. I don't have any homework." So I read some of the book I'm reading now (Blue Highways). Then I'm going to start my How to Brew book once I've finished this one. Woohoo! Next week I'll work on putting together the wedding address list. I think I mentioned before on here that I was thinking of working up my Greek again this summer, but I'm going to wait until I'm in Worcester to do that. once I'm in KY I think Greek will be the last thing I want to do.

That's about all I have for now. Nothing particularly insightful going on-just a great episode of the Office and Parks and Rec tonight (a new NBC show that I find hilarious). Tomorrow night Rick and I are going to see the new Star Trek. It should be AWESOME. If it's not raining we're going to the drive-in. If it is raining, this is one of those rare occasions when we will go to an indoor theater during drive-in season. But we've gotta see it! Speaking of movies, Year One and Taking Woodstock both look like they're gonna be fantastic. And Harry Potter of course. Rick's excited about Terminator and Transformers. I couldn't really care about either. The first Transformers movie was OK but I didn't think "man, I can't wait until the next one comes out!" I'm really in the mood for comedy right now as well as fantasy (and Star Trek of course). One of the drive-ins is doing a double feature of Star Trek and I Love You Man, which I've been wanting to see. Hopefully we'll be able to go tomorrow night!

Here's to summer break!

I Heart Charles Gore.

2009-05-06T21:03:00.002-04:00

Finished the Gore paper this morning. A few of my favorite quotes from him:

"Now what is it that has in fact made Christianity so real a Gospel? It is the simplicity of its message. It holds up the crucifix and says, 'Sic Deus dilexit mundum.' This is a simple message, and it is simple because it points to facts, to the old, old story of the life and death of Jesus. But observe, the facts only constitute a Gospel, because a certain interpretation of them is implied. It were no Gospel that the best of men, after a life of boundless self-sacrifice, should have been harried to death on Calvary. It only becomes a Gospel if He who submits to this ignominious death really reveals the love, not of man only, but of God, if He really was the Son of God, who out of the love which is His own and His Father's, had come to give Himself in sacrifice for man. It only becomes a Gospel again, if God's power is shewn through the weakness of Christ's death, and He gave assurance of this to all men in that He raised Him from the dead. If He was the Son of God, if He was raised form the dead, we have our Gospel for the world...But the power of this Gospel depends utterly on an interpretation of the facts which is necessarily theological, or (considered intellectually) metaphysical, involving the special doctrine of the pre-existent person of the Son who was sent into the world." -The Incarnation of the Son of God, 23-3, 1891.

“that any really true and distinctive presentation of the principles of Christian living and Christian brotherhood, made vivid and intelligible, and applied under modern conditions, must claim a profound change, not only in the region of the social and industrial life, but even more in the region of our prejudices and presuppositions” - Christianity Applied to the Life of Men and of Nations, 41, 1920.

“the evils which we deplore in our present society are not the inevitable results of any unalterable laws of nature…but are the fruits of human blindness (largely voluntary blindness), willfulness, avarice and selfishness on the widest scale and in the long course of history: and their alteration demands something more than legislative and external changes…it demands a fundamental change in the spirit in which we think about and live our common life” -Christ and Society, 178, 1928.

A new record!

2009-05-06T17:56:00.001-04:00

I just ran for 61 minutes. I realize this isn't a marathon. And I realize that I don't run very fast (around an 11 minute mile on a good day) but still. 61 minutes! It's weird though-61 minutes of intense biking doesn't leave my legs feeling like jelly. This did though. Oh well. Still kinda cool to say I can run continuously for over an hour. I'm sure this will come in handy some day...

La la la la

2009-05-05T14:20:00.002-04:00

It's always so hard to concentrate when there are only a couple of things left to do, but they don't feel particularly pressing. Well, the final doesn't feel that way to me. Maybe it should, but it's for a year-long course on Dante and it's basically doing some very close readings of the passages. No one really knows how to prepare for it, so I've just been taking some notes and reading the footnotes and hopefully if I do that enough they will stick.

The other thing I'm working on right now is a paper on Charles Gore's incarnational theology as the basis for Christian ethics. It's actually really interesting. People in general are pretty hard on Charles Gore, claiming that he's got a very kenotic christology (which focuses on a complete self-emptying of God in Christ...the problem is that people say this focuses too much on the human side and not on the divine). The more I've read of Gore, though, the more I think he's a little more rounded than it seems from his 1891 Bampton Lectures. He does talk about and sin and the cross, although I don't think he does so as well as Michael Ramsey (who, incidentally, was a big Charles Gore fan).

Anyway, back to the paper. My whole argument is that the Incarnation of the Word not only allowed us to have a new relationship with God, but also allows us to have new relationships with one another because we have the living example of Christ-the "crown of nature"
or "real man" as Gore would put it. There's a danger here of focusing too much on the idea of progress (although Gore was still writing post WWI he was trained before the Great War and thus reflects ideas of progress inherent in that time period). So what I'm arguing is that the Incarnation allows us to approach relationships with one another in new ways that are modeled on the humanity of Christ. Hopefully I'll be able to draw in a few comments from Rowan Williams, who critiqued incarnational theology in his "On Christian Theology" book, but who I think draws on Gore-perhaps unintentionally (although no Anglican theologian worth his salt could ignore Gore...nor do they, I believe) when he talks about the Christian community standing over and against all other forms of community because we share in Christ incarnate, crucified, and risen. Gore lays the foundation for all of this (as does F.D. Maurice but I only have 8-10 pages so I'm focusing on Gore because he's the less obvious choice, thereby making a greater contribution to scholarship...in my dreams at least).

So that's what I'm working on. Hopefully I'll get comments on my Herbert and Eucharistic theology paper back on Friday, so I can start working it up for this competition I'm going to enter it in. And getting it polished for PhD/ThD applications.

And then it's time to read whatever I want for the year. I've started compiling a reading list. Thus far it consists of:

Into Thin Air (own it, never read it)
Life of Pi
Dear Fatty (Dawn French's Autobiography-out in the UK but not here until October I think)
The Brothers Karamazov (only made it half way through about 3 times. I'm determined to
finish it)
King Lear
Everything written by Rowan Williams in book form, as well as sermons on his website
More Michael Ramsey
Maybe some Lancelot Andrewes (if you can't tell I'm trying to widen my reading in Anglican theology and spirituality for PhD stuff)

And in there I'm going to sprinkle a whole lot of fun not very heady books. And I want to write a short blurb on all of them so that I can keep track of what I've read.

Oh and I'm thinking about teaching myself Latin this year, or at least starting it. And reviewing my Greek. I'd like to take Hebrew if I decide against Latin, but that will largely depend on where I'm working this next year. If I'm in a college town, I could audit a class at a local university. I'd just like to be able to do some solid biblical exegesis in the original language. I know enough Greek to be able to do that with the NT (and have used it in preaching, which is the real reason I want to know it) but I'd like to be able to do the same for Hebrew. And Latin would just be helpful since I tend to find myself in sixteenth century when I'm studying. But that's something to decide in August. I thought about taking my Greek textbook, NT, and middle Lidell home, but decided that I wouldn't study it anyway this summer so why carry it all there. It will be easier in the fall when I'm in more of a routine and when it's not so nice outside that I would rather be sitting in the pool. And I'm not sure flashcards would work out so well while floating in crystal clear chlorinated water...maybe a better mind could do it, but I'll take some Diana Gabaldon instead. : ) (speaking of which I think she has a new one coming out this fall! Yay for Clare and Jamie!)

OK must read Dante now...

Update

2009-05-04T20:55:00.001-04:00

Hey there. I don't have too much time to write, because I should be doing some research. Just thought I would let you all know that I'm still hanging in. It's finals week, and I have an 8-10 page paper and a final left, and then I'm DONE with master's number two. Wootwoot. Also, I'm hopefully lining up some job prospects. I have at least one interview this month, with two more possibilities. We'll see. Rick and I went to one of the churches this past week and liked it. It was a little bit chaotic (I felt like there was very little sense of cohesive movement among the congregation at times like communion) but the people were friendly and the rector could do a great baptism. So that's good.

Other than that...we're getting more excited about the wedding. We registered at Sears on Sunday. Woohoo! Still have Walmart and Lowes left to register at, but we'll probably do those this weekend. Once classes are done I can finish packing up everything (I'm about 1/4-1/3 of the way there) and try to sell my car. Then home to KY for a few days, then back here for a couple of weeks, then back to KY for the summer until the wedding. Phew.

I'm reading a good book right now. I think it will be the first post in my book postings on this blog.

Also, I'm stoked that the new Star Trek comes out this week. Simon Pegg is in it, and Rick and I both really like his stuff (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Run Fatboy Run) and maybe just maybe we'll go see it at the drive in on Friday night!

Crapola

2009-04-28T18:14:00.002-04:00

I'll admit it. I'm scared- not so much in a "there's a big scary monster under the bed" kind of way, but a "I don't have a job and no one wants to hire me" kind of way. I think this would all feel better if there were continually jobs opening up, but there aren't. And I have a MASSIVE amount of student loan debt and only 300 dollars to my name right now. Seriously.

I've been joking about working at Starbucks, but more and more that's looking like it's going to be a reality, as long as they'll hire me. I don't know what it pays, but I do know that they have health insurance, so at least I could have that covered.

I had a conversation with another potential employer today. I thought it went OK...wasn't an official interview or anything (I seem to be having lots of these "conversations" lately) but I felt an underlying hesitance to hire an ordained person. So if that doesn't work out, there are two church options I'm also exploring but beyond that...nothing.

Maybe I'll get a sandwich board and work in a Boston McDonald's and proclaim "Hey! I have grad degrees from Harvard AND Yale, awesome grades, am ordained female and under 30, AND NO CHURCHES WILL HIRE ME!!!!" Think that might work? Ha.

Sorry to have such down-er blog posts lately. It's really just this all consuming issue in my life at the moment, and is made harder by the fact that almost everyone else in my class who's being ordained in ECUSA has a job or is in a diocese where they help you find jobs. It's just...frustrating. I know something will happen. God wouldn't get me this far and then just kind of leave me alone and not present some opportunity for ministry (not in a fatalistic "this was meant to be or wasn't meant to be" kind of way) but it's hard to keep that ever present when no money and lots of loans to pay back loom in the very near future. Arg. I'm not filling out some of these surveys they keep sending the graduating students because I don't have a job, and it's depressing and shaming (I know I know it shouldn't be but we all have pride issues) and I just don't want to advertise at graduation "hey I can't seem to get hired and don't know what the f*** I'm doing now!" kind of thing.

And on top of this I don't think my diocese is going to make it possible for Rick to be at my ordination. Which is also hard. I want him to be there, and I think it's important for him to be there. He's part of my ministry, and can't be there for a very important point in it. Lame.

Well, back to the old exams and papers.

Oh and by the way, WTF with the 90 degree weather in Boston today? Weird. It was 81 here and is supposed to be 58 tomorrow. So strange.

...

2009-04-27T21:17:00.003-04:00

Not too much to say today. It started off as a great day-I woke up before my alarm clock (and on a day when I didn't have to get up particularly early, no less!) to a sunny room with the fans blowing and the wonderful quiet of the morning that happens in this neighborhood, except on trash days or when there's construction. Then I had a nice breakfast. Then I got the phone call telling me I wasn't being considered for a position that I had interviewed particularly well for because I couldn't live in the neighborhood. That definitely put a damper on my day-and that was 9:30 this morning. Woo. I shelved at the library for four hours- four hours in a tiny, hot, and stuffy room standing on concrete and lifting books. But it was gettin' paid so whatever.

The church thing is so disappointing because I didn't grow up thinking of ECUSA as an insular church. My diocese had always brought in people from all over-you didn't have to be from KY to work for the church in KY. But I'm finding in this neck of the woods that so often people really only want those who are from their diocese...I have to wait until "their own" get placed before I can take a look at the leftovers. And that's a hard thing to swallow, especially when I feel that I've got a lot of energy and potential-not to mention that I'm hardworking and excited about Jesus.

Luckily I have an interview tomorrow with the position that I really really REALLY want and feel most called to. I don't think the pay is great (I heard on the grape vine around 17 000 but I don't know if that's true, although it does include health benefits and that would get me in for the pension fund) BUT it's doing young adult ministry which is what I feel called to do. And I would get to do it NOT as a side job, but as THE job! And that would be awesome.

So pray hard for me tomorrow. I really feel called to what this job asks people to do...and I feel I could do a lot in that position. I just have to get it first...

Adventures With My Neti (or Netti?)

2009-04-26T21:10:00.006-04:00

To preface this post, I have been in allergy hell for the past few days. I LOVE spring. I love summer even more. And spring in New England is so intense I think because it's a short season...things just became green this past week, and April is almost over! Needless to say, that's been a hard adjustment to make up here in Yankee-ville. The South definitely has this whole spring thing down better (as well as just about everything else).

Anyway, I'd been taking my normal allergy medicine regimen when all of this kicked in so I added some pseudophedrine on top of that to try and help get me over the hump. So then I switched to benadryl. And ibuprofen. I'm still coughing (not as much though) and still sniffling, but with the help of tissues with aloe in them to keep me from looking like rudolph and some allergy meds, I may be seeing a tiny speck of light in the distance. Or maybe not. I don't want to jinx myself.

I'd been hearing about neti pots for a while, and a post on Facebook from a friend reminded me about them. I told her I wasn't going to get one, as it looked like something Dwight Schrute would use and I wasn't ready to go that road. But then I saw one on sale for 8.99 and figured what the hell. I'd give it a shot. Hence the picture at the beginning of the blog.

Needless to say, it's kind of weird. See below:

You basically pour water mixed with a saline solution into one nostril and it goes into the snus cavities, flushes them out, and drains out of the other nostril. I think I'm getting a little more used to it, but it's still kind of weird. It does leave you with a nice refreshing feeling afterwards, though. And it's all natural, which is nice. It says you can use it for kids over 4, but I'm not sure a. how this could fit up a four year old's nose (it barely fits up mine) and b. how they would know not to breathe out of their nose and only their mouth. If you don't do that, the solution drains down the back of your throat, which is pretty gross.

The whole process is kind of wet and gross, but no worse than a saline nasal spray.

That's what has been occupying my time. Trying to beat allergies. That and wedding planning. And finding a job. And finishing the semester. But the neti pot seemed the most interesting...weird, huh?

Sorry if that grossed you out Mom. Didn't mean to.

Oh and I finished two books this week (fun books, not school books). A Lion Among Men, which was OK but a little too pyschological for me, and World Without End, which took me months to get through after I started it at Christmas because I just didn't have time. It was good...very much like Pillars of the Earth, though. Now I've moved on to Blue Highways. It's a travel narrative/journal but it's pretty interesting. I've started compiling a list of books to read during the next year when I can read whatever the hell I want. It's going to be great! This blog may turn into a book journal of sorts...I think I'm more likely to do it if it's electronic rather than handwritten. So keep your eyes open. It may even start this summer! Woohoo!

Just me...how novel.

2009-04-07T22:09:00.002-04:00

I've been looking at various wedding things lately (obviously because of planning) and I've been amazed by how much pressure there is out there to create "the perfect day." I've gotten two great pieces of advice about this whole process. The first was from my mom, who basically said "It's your wedding, you can do what you want." Not from a she doesn't care perspective, but from a perspective of "it's your wedding and Rick's wedding and no one else's" which I think is great. So that's been awesome. And someone else told me to think of the wedding as a big party celebrating you and your fiance (by then husband!). And that's the attitude we've had throughout this whole thing. It's about making our commitment before God and our families and then celebrating. This is a little more in line with the Eastern Orthodox tradition of weddings, but I think there's something there. So here are things we've decided on that may go against the "traditional" ideas of weddings. Not that any of you reading this are likely getting married, but in case some random bride to be comes across this, she can get encouragement (and hopefully the groom to be as well!).
1. We're not having champagne. For some reason this one sticks out to me because that champagne toast is so...the thing. My sister didn't do it either. They had some white sangria. Rick and I are having beer, because we love beer and it's part of who we are as a couple (Note: we are not alcoholics, but in fact have a real interest in different kinds of beers and in brewing our own. Just wanted to put that out there). Furthermore, it's going to be a wheat beer brewed at a local microbrewery.
2. No flower girl. Mostly because there's no little girl in either immediate family for the job. My nephew will be the most fantastic ring bearer ever, though.
3. No DJ. No Dancing. It's all about the iPod as background music.
4. Flowers. We're getting them bulk from a florist and just going with daisies. Nothing fancy shmancy. Just very simple and pretty and summery.
5. I have a bridesman, aka my brother. We did this at my sister's wedding as well. Nathan is my brother, and I want him on my side supporting me during the wedding. Gender stereotypes be damned!
6. We decided (after a long think on it) not to go with tuxes. That in itself isn't so odd, but I think it's a little less normal for an indoor church wedding. But I'm excited about what they'll be wearing, so it should be good.
7. Krispy Kreme donuts for the wedding cake. I am soooooo excited about this.

Now that I've looked back on this list, none of those are that weird really. Just not what you'd see in Father of the Bride (although that is a great movie). I still haven't decided on whether Rick and I will have pics taken together before or after the wedding. There's the whole not seeing each other thing, but there's also the "Wanting to have fun at the party instead of having our pictures taken" thing as well. I would rather have a choreographed moment of Rick seeing me for the first time (so we can get the picture of it : ) ) than miss the entire reception.

And then it's off to Disney World. I'm am so pumped about this. I haven't been on what I would consider a real vacation since I was 11. I've been places, most definitely, all over the world. But they've always been for various study or mission reasons. This will be going someplace where we are there to relax completely. And it is going to rock (I could go into my whole theological views of going on a real vacation...but not at the moment).

Other than that...just doing homework. Yeehaw. I swear it's not getting any warmer here, which is beyond depressing. It's sunny and things are starting to bloom, but it's still relatively cold. Every now and then we'll get a day that's close to 60, but that's about as good as it gets. Where's spring??????

Whoa.

2009-04-06T18:36:00.001-04:00

The subject line to this is a reaction on my part. I actually finished a paper today and it's not due until the 16th. Now, many of you will not think this is a big deal. BUT if you've ever been in graduate school (for the humanities, in particular) you will know that this is a feat. I have yet to proof the paper, but I like to have a day or two in between so I come to it with fresh eyes. Anyway I just thought I would share the accomplishment. Not a major life or world-changing event, but it's nice to have it done. Now I just need to do some reading...

OK...

2009-04-05T21:45:00.001-04:00

NOTE: I accidentally posted this on the family blog the other day, and just now realized it. but it's all information they already know. So I'm putting it on the blog it's supposed to go on. Sorry fam for boring you with things you already knew...

Hey Everyone. It's been a month since I've posted, so I thought I would say hey and let you all know what's going on. Life has been a bit hectic as of late, with the semester starting to come to a close and job searches going on in earnest. And wedding planning! And my journey for getting into shape. So here we go!

Family life has been crazy as it has been this entire year. We're all ready for the bad stuff to stop. Seriously. Enough is enough. Hopefully we're starting to come out of this thunderstorm that has been October-Now. Prayers are always welcome, and still definitely needed for the family.

The semester is starting to end. Only 3 weeks left of class, which is crazy to think about, especially since I'm not starting a PhD in the fall. But since I've been in school since kindergarten, it will be good to have a year off. The only downside is trying to find a job. The economy sucks and there aren't many full time associate positions out there, but I'm trying my best. I've had a preliminary conversation at one parish, and will hopefully have a formal interview there. I have another interview with a parish later this month-that one looks pretty intense. I'm scheduled for about 5 hours of time with them, and that's just on a first interview! And then I hopefully have a phone interview early next week at another place. The teaching jobs are so few I'm not hopeful about those. If nothing else, I'll work Sundays at my friend Mike's church and work at Starbucks or something during the week while I get PhD applications under way. I'm going to go about the whole thing in a different manner, and I'm hoping that will help me apply to more programs. The reality is that I want to do good solid scholarship on Anglican spirituality, and to do that I need the PhD. But that could be in theology, history, or even English. So I'm going to widen my search. I have to start working on that now, though, so that I can make an even better personal statement.

Rick and I are making progress in the wedding planning. We were conflicted about the tux choice, so we finally decided to nix that. The guys are going to be in khakis with a white shirt and cornflower tie. Rick will be in a tan suit. I think that will look great, and be way more comfortable (and cheaper!). Blaine's hopefully going to wear a seersucker number. It's going to be adorable. And I found the shoes (Birkenstocks) that I want for the wedding. So that's all good. And we made a flower decision. I just need to put together the liturgy, and we'll be doing invites in May when I'm home for the dress fitting. And the honeymoon is slowly but surely being paid off! I'm really excited about marrying Rick, and the wedding is going to be an awesome celebration of the two of us!

For those who don't know, in Feb. I joined weightwatchers online. So far I've lost 21 lbs! It's exciting. Although I had Indian food for dinner and feel like I just gained it all back! Oh well. There are good days and bad days, but I'm in better shape and my clothes fit better and I feel better. And that's what matters. It's weird though. Everyone asks if I'm doing it for the wedding. And the honest to God answer is no, I'm not. Rick thinks I'm beautiful regardless. He's lost lots of weight too, recently, but I find him handsome no matter what. The truth is that we want to start our marriage living a healthy lifestyle, so that we can bring our kids up living a healthy lifestyle as well.

Other than that, just doing homework really. I'm working on a paper I am going to enter into some competitions and hopefully get published. I hope it turns out well. Seriously. I like the topic and everything too. So we'll see.

Anyway that's all for now. Hope you're all doing well and enjoying the spring!

Cheers
Hilary

Sunday nights

2009-04-05T21:39:00.002-04:00

Sunday nights are interesting times. I always think I'm going to be so productive, and then I'm not. Only kind of productive, really. But that's so associated with homework, I think my Sunday nights will be revolutionized next year when I can relax on Sundays. Woohoo! But knowing me I'll figure out some way to have something to do.

Not much going on here. Well, not much that is new I should say. Lots of things are going on, just nothing out of the ordinary. Homework and papers, basically. And trying to find a job. And getting in shape, which was the real reason for this blog.

This was an up and down week. i don't think I did very good WW wise, which is OK as it's the first non-good week I think I've had. I think I probably gained 1-2 lbs, but in the grand scheme of things that's not too bad. But on the flip side, I ran for an entire hour today without stopping. I NEVER in my life thought that I would be able to do that, but I did! Woohoo! It wasn't too bad of a run either. I hit a wall around 45 minutes but ran through it and by about 50 minutes it was better. Yay for me. I'm hoping to run in some sort of race in the next few months, just because it's an accomplishment I'd like to have under my belt. A 5K would be ideal, because I run one of those almost every day and know I can do it, but a 10K would be even cooler. Maybe I can do one of each!

I should probably make an attempt at outlining this paper now. And then I have to read. And then get to bed at some point so that I can actually get up on time for MP tomorrow. I hope you all have a good Holy Week. It's kind of crazy that it's here, but since this year has been a very long lent-like year, Holy Week doesn't seem too different from any other day to be honest. That probably doesn't make sense to anyone not in my family, but there it is.

Hope you all have a good week!

Cheers
Hilary

Update.

2009-03-09T18:42:00.002-04:00

Hey Everyone.

It's been a while since I've updated, but then again alot of stuff has been happening. Unfortunately, I didn't get into any PhD programs. I attribute that to several things: the economy crashing right after application went in, thereby making programs cut the number of people they took in; my previous studies in religion and not quite as much in history; and the strength of other candidates. I'll try again next year or the year after I think. But for this year I'm going to find a job (hopefully at a parish!) and enjoy spending time being married to Rick.

Speaking of jobs, I've begun the job search in earnest. I'm talking to one congregation, and will hopefully have an interview in the next couple of weeks. I won't say where or who, but I'd really really like this one to work out. It seems like a good fit, but I'll just have to pray and hope really. There's another position I'm applying for that would also be pretty good but again we'll see. There's only so much I can do when other people are applying too!

The job search is taking up most of my energy right now. I have classes still (although I'm on spring break and with my brother in Iowa City), but I'd really like to get a job under my belt before the semester ends. That way I could spend the early part of the summer getting prepared for starting the job!

I don't know too much more than that. Rick and I are getting more and more excited about the wedding, and the honeymoon after that! I hope you guys are all doing OK and that your spring begins well.

Lent.

2009-02-22T20:31:00.002-05:00

Lent starts this week. Easter is later this year, so I didn't have an Ash Wednesday birthday this time (talk about a way to dampen the mood!). I've been trying to think of what I'm going to do. I think sometimes giving something up can be good when it overtakes your worldview, but I'm more of a "take something on" kind of person. So this year I'm taking on being really disciplined about weight watchers and working out and such. I know that may sound like a cop-out, but it really is a matter of being disciplined and focused about it, and about honoring the body God gave me. Hopefully it will go well! I'm already down 3-4 pounds after the first week, which is good (and that's on top of the 6 I lost in the first 6 weeks of the year) so that's good progress! Rick and I want to get in shape now so that it's easier to maintain once we're married and then once we have a family. I urge you all to think about what disciplines you could take on during lent...

I have to get back to my Dante homework though. Talk to you all later!

Update.

2009-02-17T22:28:00.001-05:00

Howdy everyone. Sorry it's been a little while since I updated. I was in England all of last week, so wasn't really in a place to update. To be honest, though, there's not really too much to write. Just doing the school thing and starting to look for jobs for next year. There are two at this point for which I'm going to apply, so we'll see how that goes. Other than that, just papers really. Rick and I had a fantastic weekend this past week, so that was great. We needed it. I'm headed to KY in a couple of weeks for diocesan convention. I'll be in Bowling Green and am going to spend the night with my BFF Kim in her new house! That's exciting. And I'll get to see my grandfather, which is also great. And I'll be at Christ Church and get to see a bunch of people I haven't really seen since I became a postulant, so that will be good as well. Ummm...yeah. I need to start looking for plane tickets for spring break. I'm hoping to go hang out with my brother for a week. I'm just debating on flying (which would be more convenient but more expensive) versus driving (less convenient but also cheaper) so we'll see. Hopefully I'll be able to get out there and we can hang out not in the hospital. iowa City seems like a pretty decent place, but I've really only seen the hospital and the mall. It would be good to see more of it, especially with Nathan.

Anywho that's all I know. Just thought I would let you all know that I'm still kickin'.

26 et. al.

2009-02-06T12:01:00.002-05:00

Well yesterday was my birthday. I'm now 26. Woohoo! (i think). It was a pretty low key and normal day, which as my mom said is a great thing in my family right now. It was nice, though. I had friends over last night and we had Chinese food and watched the Office and had 2 cakes and good beer! Woohoo! I finally felt like fall semester was over, because my ISM project is DONE and presented as of Wednesday the 4th. Now I'm just waiting for PhD stuff. Some days I think I'll get in, and other days I think there's not a chance in hell. So I really have no idea. I just need to start doing job stuff but I feel I can't do it until I have some idea about these programs. I should hopefully know something this month though. I'm still hoping the most for Brown, but I'd go for any of them really.

Other than that, I head out for Canterbury today. Haven't been to England since I studied abroad in the summer of 2003 in London, so this will be fun. Hopefully I'll have time to update this blog about the trip, but if not I'll fill y'all in when I get home. I hope you're staying warm and getting ready for spring!

Ridiculousity 2

2009-01-27T19:08:00.002-05:00

I think maybe I already titled a post "Ridiculousity," so this is the 2nd one. But if I haven't done so, then it's the first.

Anyway, a grand jury tossed out the charges levelled against two men in Lexington for hanging an effigy of Obama during the campaign. Part of the article reads: "Defense attorney Fred Peters said common sense prevailed among Fayette County grand jurors. He said they realized the case "had been blown way out of proportion." Fischer and Bush apologized Tuesday for what they called a "political prank." They said they hung the effigy after seeing a similar display of unsuccessful GOP vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin hung from a tree in a California man's yard."

This, my good readers, is beyond ridiculous. It's just another example of racism that is inherent within our society and will stay that way if people don't get a clue! The defendants argued that they had seen a similar act done with Sarah Palin as the figure in California. Now, I want it to be noted for the record that I do NOT condone hanging Sarah Palin in effigy. There are issues with that as well (particularly the use of such a violent means of expression against a political candidate whose opinions I happen to disagree with). I'm not so sure I'm for effigies in general--I don't know in the end how effective they really are for accomplishing anything, not to mention that they are pretty violent expressions. I'm all about freedom of expression but NOT about cultural insensitivity. Did these men not understand the unavoidable racist and lynching implications of their actions? I'm not willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. How can you be an American in 2009 and NOT realize that hanging the figure of any African-American in a tree would not bring to mind such things? SERIOUSLY. And the fact that the jury threw this case out means that such hate crimes will continue to go unpunished and be tacitly condoned by fellow citizens.

We may have elected our first African-American president, but racism is by no means absent from our society, and if this article is any hint, it won't be absent for quite a while...

I'm disgusted.

Boo.

2009-01-25T21:30:00.002-05:00

This is a stressful year, to say the least. Right now I feel like I'm caught up in the middle of...nothing. And yet it's everything at the same time. Waiting for PhD admissions or rejections, waiting to find a job, waiting waiting waiting. And it's wearing me down, especially with the school work I need to be doing. I'm ready for Feb. 4 to be over, to be honest. Then the ISM project will be done and I can put it behind me. I was hoping to do a lot on it last week but the funeral and everything kept that from happening. I'm not blaming anyone...it is what it is, and family comes first. I don't have class tomorrow so hopefully I can get a lot done. Well, not hopefully. I have to get a lot done. I've been completely unproductive today. Every now and then I have those days when stress reaches a level that keeps me from being able to concentrate. Today has been one of those days. But that means tomorrow shouldn't be one of those days, which is a good thing. So hurray there. Nathan is sick with an infection, so he's in the hospital while they try to get that sorted out. Dad is currently en-route to Louisville from PA, where Erin will pick him up around midnight. And Mom is in IA with Nathan. We're all over the damn place!

Not much else really to report. I'm thinking of changing the blog background. This one is starting to get boring. Rick and I have a photographer for our wedding. I like his stuff and he seemed really nice over the phone so he should be easy to work with. The only major thing we have to do now is flowers, and figure out the food situation. The rest is just stuff my Mom, sister and I can do. And Rick when he's there to help : ) It was nice and warm one day this week...Friday I think. It was incredible. And then it got stupid cold again. Alas for winter! Ummm...my birthday is coming up, but this has been such a stressful time that it doesn't even feel like it! Because of the trip to Canterbury (which should be awesome!) I won't be able to see Rick until a week after my birthday, which is a bummer. Yep. don't know too much more than that. Everything is ice here, because of the melt on Friday. Rick's drive way is a skating rink. Seriously. Too bad I don't have any skates...

Funeral Homily

2009-01-21T17:23:00.001-05:00

For those who don't know and read this blog, my grandmother passed away this week. I've been in PA for the funeral (which was this morning). I preached the funeral homily, and just figured I'd post it here. Who knows if any of you will read it, but there you go.

"Ever Onward"
In the name of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.
It’s amazing how the Holy Spirit works. When I heard that my grandmother had passed away, I began thinking about her and what her life had taught me. Over the next few days, ideas for this homily began to swirl around in my head. Then, last night, I was talking to Jerri Smith and learned something new about my grandmother. Whenever she would leave the room, she would say "Ever Onward!" This is not something that I had ever heard, I guess because the occasion never arose. But more and more people began to mention this phrase, and I couldn’t resist making this the center piece of the sermon. So, as she would say.
It is fitting that such a phrase would be central to a funeral service. Often we think of these times as times of mourning and remembering. And to a certain extent they are. We are here to celebrate the life of my grandmother and to remember her spirit as we mourn together. But we also come here to do something more. We are an Easter people—always looking forward to the Resurrection. Indeed, the first lines of the burial service in the Book of Common Prayer say "I am Resurrection and I am Life, says the Lord. Whoever has faith in me shall have life, even though he die…" (491). In this time it is easy for us to get caught in a kind of "Good Friday" mode, scared about things to come and saddened by our loss. But as Christians we do not live in the Good Friday moment. We live in the Easter moment.
The scripture readings today speak to such a moment in different ways. The Hebrew Bible readings note God’s constancy in the face of trouble. Job, the man who had everything taken away from him yet still remained faithful to God, proclaims, "For I know that my Redeemer lives, and that at the last he will stand upon the earth" (19:25). Psalm 46 makes a similar statement: "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change, though the mountains shake in the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble with its tumult…The nations are in an uproar, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge" (46:1-3, 6-7). These are good words for us to hear, even when we are not in such a state of loss. In our world it often seems that the nations are in an uproar and the kingdoms are tottering. And now, when our personal grief threatens to overwhelm us, to totter our own kingdoms, Job and the Psalmist assure us that God will remain firm to the very end. Even on Good Friday, when Jesus’s words on the cross "My God My God, why have you forsaken me?" echo in our ears, God is there. And God is with us now.
The New Testament readings provide us with another view of this Easter moment. The epistle speaks of the future time as well, yet not in the catastrophic sense of Job and the Psalm. Rather, we get a picture of the kingdom to come, the heavenly city where we will "hunger no more, and thirst no more; the sun will not strike [us], nor any scorching heat; for the Lamb at the centre of the throne will be our shepherd, and he will guide us to springs of the water of life, and God will wipe away every tear from our eyes" (7-16-17). Jesus tells of this time in the Gospel of John, when all who see the Son and believe will be raised and have eternal life (6:40). If there was ever a vision to help us move ever onward, these pictures from the New Testament provide it.
These passages also provide us with comfort at the passing of our mother, grandmother, and friend. We can be assured that she has moved Ever Onward. As I told Mrs. Smith last night, I’m sure her soul uttered those words as the passed. But what about those of us who are still here? What do we do when the ones we love have moved ever onward? We can take comfort in the hope of the Resurrection, but how do we go about our day to day lives when someone close to us has died? How do we rebuild when our kingdoms have tottered? One of the hymns we sing today is about the saints of God—but not those saints we might think of ordinarily. These saints are ordinary people. You. Me. We all have the ability to be saints. And we can learn from the lives of the saints who have gone before us, people like my grandmother.
When I was about eight years old, one of my homework assignments was to put together a family tree. This included the creation of a construction paper object that looked something like a tree with people I drew who looked something like my family. The other part of this assignment involved an interview with a family member who was not your parent. I decided to interview my Gorgeous Ma (so named because she always told us to look Gorgeous in pictures), because how many people in my class had a British grandmother? She told me one story in that interview that has always stayed with me, though I have never known why. I think the reason is becoming more and more clear as I get older.
The question I asked her had to do with school. "What was your least favorite class?" I asked. She responded "art." I asked her why and she told me that as a girl, she had been told to draw a picture for art class. So she drew a picture of a local shop. The teacher, however, was not pleased with her rendition. "Why didn’t she like your picture, Gorgeous Ma?" I asked. "Well," she replied, "the store window was empty." As I said, I have long wondered why I remember this story. It sounds like something my grandmother would have done, but it was not particularly inspirational for whatever artistic talent might have been budding within me.
The night I heard that Gorgeous Ma had passed away, I once again thought of this story and began to wonder, what if each of our lives were a store window, filled by the events of our lives? And this got me to thinking, what would be in Gorgeous Ma’s window? It’s likely that the answer would be different for each of us. We all knew her in different ways and have particular memories of this wonderful woman. For me, this window would be filled with many things: a map of England, a tray of warm strawberry tarts like those she used to make with my siblings and I, a picture of her Yorkie Love, some knitting, a book about Jewish spirituality, pictures of family that have long hung on her walls, calendars done for the historical society, a Book of Common Prayer, a bottle of Estee Lauder Beautiful, and the bear skin rug in her living room. The list could go on for quite a while, but you get the idea. We could each sit here and fill that window with so many things.
These windows are things we can carry with us throughout our lives. Just because she has passed, doesn’t mean that my grandmother’s window is all of a sudden empty. It remains in our lives, to be cherished and viewed whenever we like. It also challenges us to think about our own windows. What will people put in my window when I am gone? What do I want to be there? How do I want my window to help others?
As my grandmother moves ever onward, so do we. We move onward in the knowledge that God is steadfast even in the midst of turmoil. We move onward in the hope of the Resurrection, and of the time when our tears will be wiped away. And we move onward with the memory of this wonderful woman, looking to her window as we try to become saints in our own ways. Amen.

Loss.

2009-01-18T19:03:00.002-05:00

I'm in Pennsylvania right now. For those who don't know, my grandmother passed away unexpectedly on Thursday evening. She had broken her leg and had to have surgery to repair it, but they had to go in and do something on her heart first. Her body just gave out, and her spirit went home. Although thinking about it, I'm not sure (in retrospect, obviously) that she would have been able to handle the 6-8 hour surgery for her leg. That's pretty tough on the body and everything. Needless to say, my family is in shock. First Nathan got sick (although he's doing better and the chemo is doing what it's supposed to do!!!), then my grandfather had some life-change stuff (don't really think I'm supposed to write about it here, just has to reorganize his life a bit, basically), and now my grandmother dies. Seriously-this kind of thing only happens in novels and in movies. When my mom called to tell me, it really felt unreal. In a way it still does. I'm staying in her house with my dad (mom is with Nathan in IA and Erin has to work) and there are just all of these reminders that she did not expect to enter that hospital and not come back. For example, her clothes for when she got home are laid out on the chair in her room. Her mail is in the backseat of her car, as if she just grabbed it and stuck it there to check it later. There's a book half-read on the coffee table. The fish are swimming lazily in their tank. The freezer is full of various foodstuffs that she bought. It's just so...weird. Surreal, really. When my Fluffy died (my mom's mom) I was 10, and didn't really notice those sorts of things. Not to mention that she was at the Barn (the country house) when she died, and we were in the house on High Street for the funeral. But now that I'm going through this kind of loss as an adult, it's seriously a completely different experience. It is a different experience, but one would think there are similarities. Maybe there will be Yoohoo at the funeral home (at my great-grandmother and grandmother's funerals in BG, we drank a lot of Yoohoo at the funeral home. So now Yoohoo always makes me think of death, and therefore I can't drink it). Gorgeous Ma will definitely be missed. I have a card by my bed in CT thanking me for the engagement photo I sent her, and it said the date was already on the calendar for next year. And I know she was really looking forward to my ordination, and that was something I really wanted her to see--graduations didn't matter so much to me, it's the ordination that I thought would be best for her to be at. But now she'll be seeing it from a different perspective. Oh well. At least she'll be present in some sense! I'm preaching the homily at the funeral. I asked Carol, the vicar, if I could. I feel like it would be a way to honor her, and to honor her excitement and joy about my vocation. Now I just have to write it...

The Righteous and the Rest.

2009-01-13T21:32:00.003-05:00

I don't do this often, but I figured maybe I will start whenever I do preach (which is less often now, more often in the future I'm sure). This is the short homily (3-5 minutes) I will be preaching at St. Luke's tomorrow morning. The three texts listed are the lectionary readings we're doing in Chapel in the morning, so they give a Scriptural context for what I'm doing. The idea actually came to me in chapel today, which was convenient as I preach tomorrow.

“The Righteous and the Rest” Ps. 14, Mk. 1:29-45, Eph.2:1-10

Religious groups can be exclusive. I know, it’s hard to imagine that we could be an exclusive bunch, interested in our own salvation and our own journeys to God, but it’s true. The psalmist today provides a perfect example of this. The psalm is full of “they did this” and “they did that.” It reminds me of listening to four year olds complain about their peers who haven’t shared a toy, or are eating one too many cookies. Or, for that matter, one group of church goers critiquing the liturgical practices of another church. One of the great things about the psalms is their ability to hold a mirror up to humanity—both the good, and the bad. The psalmist speaks of “they” and once uses the more direct “you”—words meant to create a dichotomy between the righteous and the rest. The beginning of Paul’s passage almost seems to run along the same lines: you were dead when you followed the ways of “those who are disobedient.” We are the righteous. They are the rest.

I bring this tendency to exclusivity up because I want to make a few comments about mission. Now, you might think that this would be a rather odd way of bringing such a topic up, but I think it is important in seminary, where we can easily ignore the outside world. An example: this December, when I had about seventy-five pages of writing due at the end of the semester, I spent an entire evening writing at my desk. The ground was clear when I started, and when I glanced out of the window I was startled to see three inches of snow on the ground. Mind you, I sit right next to a window. Literally. It’s about a foot away from my desk chair. And there is even another window in my room. I had gotten so wrapped up in what I was doing that I had not even looked out of the window for hours. And this is just concerning the weather—much less the social justice issues, the poverty and helplessness that seems to pervade my neighborhood. I have to ask, am I too busy to look out of my own seminary-world window to see that? And the answer, if I’m honest, is more often yes than no.

This leads me to my next point. Forgive me GOE takers, but I want to talk a minute about the missio Dei, or the mission of God. In the mid-twentieth century as the ecumenical movement gained more and more momentum, there was increasing conversation about the mission of the Church universal. Before this time, mission had actually been missions, carried out by individual churches with the focus on conversion. However, by the time the 60s rolled around, Christianity had spread throughout the world and denominations were finding that missions might not be the most pressing need for the church anymore. This was known in missiological terms as the missio Ecclesia, or the mission of the church. The implications of this term are that missions were dependent upon the actions of the individual churches—the Church of England, for example. However, by the 1968 World Council of Churches meeting in Uppsala, the ground had shifted to the missio Dei. The WCC defined the missio Dei as something meant “to bring all people into this new creation. All who work for justice and peace in the world participated in this new creation” (Douglas 272). In more stark terms, the mission of God was not dependent upon the church. Indeed, the mission of God worked outside of the church.

It’s interesting that it took almost 2000 years from Jesus’s time to figure this out. Genesis 1 does not read: “the spirit moved across the deep from it’s source point of St. Stephen’s by the formless void.” No. That spirit moved before an institutional church even existed! Similarly, in today’s Gospel passage we see Jesus responding to the deep needs of those around him. In yesterday’s Gospel he preached repentance. In today’s he goes about curing the sick and casting out demons. All of these outside of an institutional Church.

Now, at first this all seems like an odd message to give to future leaders of a church institution. Hopefully my last two points will show it is actually quite relevant, however.
The first point comes from the Ephesians passage. As Paul writes: “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God— not the result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are what he has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works” (8-10). We were created to do good works; to be a just people who work for justice. Our very nature as a Christian people is to be a people who reaches out to the deep needs and hurts of the world, as Jesus shows us in Mark. The hardest part is done—we’re already made for good works. Now we just have to do them!

The second point, and the one thing I’d like for you to take from this if you don’t remember anything else, is that the mission of God is not confined to the church. I said it before, but as the dean said, redundant communication is key to leadership development. There are going to be people responding to the mission of God whether or not they go to church. But think of all of the great resources we—as part of a larger institution—can bring! Prayer, advocacy, people-power, and money, to name a few. But we have to respond to that call. We have to look out of the window and see not only the snow falling on the ground, but the homeless who are forced to sleep in that snow. The missio Dei is going to happen with or without us: the question we must ask is, do we want to be a part of it?

Jobs jobs jobs

2009-01-12T20:49:00.002-05:00

Well, PhD applications are in and now it is just a matter of waiting. And waiting. And waiting. I hope and pray that I get in somewhere, but I know things will be OK if I don't. Ordination is on the horizon (God willing) and there will (God willing) be a job at a church for me somewhere up here, be in part time (for PhD plan) or full-time (for not that plan). We've started getting job notices in the weekly mailing for the Berkeley. And I keep seeing these great youth and young adult jobs coming up. Only one is in a part of CT that is way too far for me to drive to work (3.5 hours) and the other is in Pensacola (and that would be a Diocesan job!). It's frustrating to see all of these coming and me being unable to respond to them except to think "nope, can't do that." I'm not saying I'm mad at my situation--I love Rick, and he has a house and a good job. Those are things that cannot be given up in today's economy, and now that Rick is finally doing the job he went to his company to do in the first place, he should revel in it! Not to mention that there are tons of churches up here. I just keep telling myself that all of these are coming up for other people, and that God really will show me some paths sometime soon. I guess I'm just hoping they're paths that I want, which is the problem, isn't it? Vocation isn't about what I want, it is about responding to the deepest needs of the world, as Beuchner put it, and that doesn't always involve our exact desires. Yes, your vocation must feed you, but it's not a self-vanity thing. I just have to be aware of that. And my boss at chapel has told me that a person willing and wanting (even better) to do young adult and youth work, I should have no problem getting a job.

So phew. The search is on. I hopefully hear from PhD programs in mid-February, which is when they usually start giving positive replies. Right now I just feel very up in the air, because I don't know what kind of job I'm looking for (PT or FT). Hell, Rick and I can't even discuss insurance for next year because we don't know if I'll be in school or at a job somewhere. Sheesh. My entry into the job market begins...now I just have to find something.

Other than that, today was the first day of the semester. Had a good class, which has now been moved to Wednesdays (this doesn't effect my ability to change it). I have no class on Mondays and Fridays this semester, which will be awesome. I have an oral presentation on a 300 page book next Wednesday, but I took that date because A. it's on John Donne and who wouldn't want to present on him? and B. I can get it out of the way now, and all I have left in that class will be a short 4-6 pp paper and a 20-25 pp paper. Shouldn't be too bad. And ISM. I've picked up more on that research, and am meeting with my partner in crime on Friday to plan our presentation. At this point I just want to pass it and get it over with. Because two days after that...I'm off to England! Woohoo! Haven't been back since I studied abroad in 03, so this will be good. We're going to Canterbury for the most part, but we'll be in London for a day (which is where I studied), and I think we have a free day. Alot of people are going to Cambridge, since we have an exchange there, but if it's a free day I'm going to go somewhere else. I've been to Cambridge (liked Oxford better, actually) so I would like to use this opportunity to go somewhere I haven't been. Or go to London and explore some more...who knows! Any suggestions?

Disgust and prayers.

2009-01-09T08:49:00.002-05:00

Sometimes the government really grinds my gears, in the words of Peter Griffin. The UN Security Council passed a resolution calling for a ceasefire between Israel and Hamas. And what does the US do? Abstain. Seriously guys, come on. People are dying over there, and it is the ordinary civilians who have already been suffering from the blockade of Gaza...and now the ceasefire is being ignored, even if it means pushing Gazans into more and more impoverished situations...and they were already impoverished before! I realize the history and politics of the area are complex, but seriously. Human rights are an issue here, and the UN had to call off aid efforts because their people were being attacked and some even died. Come on. I'm not one to demonize one side over the other-it seems to me that both are at fault. But there are innocent people suffering for all of this.

So I'm asking us all to pray for Gaza. Pray for the people of Gaza. And pray for the leaders of our world, that they figure out that ordinary people ARE important.

Another day done...

2009-01-06T18:12:00.002-05:00

That's right. Another day of the GOEs has come and gone. Today we had contemporary society and liturgy. The contemporary society question was no surprise--it was on the MDGs. I wouldn't have predicted that, but as it is the primary mission objective of the church today, it wasn't too surprising. What was funny about it was that I wrote on this question yesterday afternoon when talking about missio Dei and the role of the Son and the Spirit in that. And then here they showed up again. Ha. Funny how that works out...The liturgy question wasn't even really a liturgy question. We had to talk about two ways a community's and two ways an individual's lives are shaped by participation in the Eucharist. I'm not so sure how I did on this one...I don't feel bad about it. It just felt blah.

None of this was helped by the fact that I'm having a cold/sinus/allergy thing. I knew it was coming on last night, so I tried to drink OJ and rest up but to no avail. Luckily it didn't really bother me too too much until late this afternoon. Now my face is all stopped up and my nose is turning pink and raw from all of the blowing. Ew. May take some nighttime cold and sinus meds tonight to try and dry things up a bit. And drink lots of water (as that and milk are all I keep around...I finished the OJ). We don't have exams tomorrow and the weather is supposed to be horrid, so aside from a trip I have to make out in the afternoon, I'm lounging about watching TV.

I've started to work on this Golden Compass project for ISM. I think it may be quite interesting...but I'm not sure how I'm going to present it (it's in collaboration with another student). Nevertheless, there's one book I'm especially interested to read about how it is an allegory of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and Paradise Lost. That fact in itself is not new to me (I think it's pretty obvious when you read the book), but I'll be interested to see how this particular author approaches it. Milton's so crazy to begin with (don't get me wrong...I LOVE me some Milton), I wonder how this guy is going to say Pullman "turns" him on his head.

Day One Down...Three to Go.

2009-01-05T18:40:00.002-05:00

For those of you who don't know, right now I'm taking the General Ordination Exams for the Episcopal Church. It's basically a series of 7 3.5 hour exams that test various areas in which ordinands are supposed to show competency. Today we had scripture and theology. I felt pretty good about both of them. My scripture answer was a little long, but I tried and tried to cut stuff and felt that everything in there was essential. So we'll see. Theology was...interesting. The past few years have been questions concerning patristics, so I was expecting that. This year they added missiology to the theology part, and what do you know we got a mission question. Luckily my class with Ian Douglas prepared me somewhat for it, so I didn't feel completely out on a limb. Tomorrow we have contemporary society and liturgy and church music. What's funny is that on the liturgy and church music question we can't even use hymnal resources! That doesn't make ANY sense to me whatsoever, but then again no one asked me so there you go. So overall I felt pretty good about today's exams. Unfortunately right now I physically feel kind of cruddy. I worked out mid-day today (I finished exam 1 1.5 hours early so I had time), but this afternoon I started feeling gross. Now I feel like I'm coming down with a cold or something. So I have a big glass of OJ here next to me and hopefully that will help (too bad I don't feel like drinking it!)

Here's my funny news article for the day. I love the BBC news feed on Firefox. I always come across articles like this that are completely random but that I would probably not ever find otherwise. It's also a great way to read American news from a European perspective. There was an interesting article on Obama and his silence concerning the recent events in Gaza. I guess it makes sense, but I figure lots of people are going to be disappointed if he doesn't say something in two weeks.

That's about all I know. Have to start working on my ISM project. I hope to do some stuff on Wednesday. And maybe tomorrow night. We'll see how I feel after the exam. Everything was a sheet of ice here this morning. Rick called me at 8:15 to make sure I was OK (didn't pick up as I was in chapel, but I thought it was sweet). Apparently his house was surrounded by a solid sheet of ice this morning. It was pretty bad here, but it warmed up during the day so lots melted. It's supposed to be cold tonight, though, so I guess we're in for the same thing tomorrow. Yay New England.

Wear some crampons if you're going out there...

I'm Back...

2009-01-04T13:23:00.003-05:00

Sorry for the several month hiatus. A lot has happened. Here is a summary of the past few months:

1. PhD applications. I have one left to do (UConn, due on Feb. 2) but other than that I'm pretty much done with them. They've taken up tons of time, both in work and in stress levels.
2. The semester. School. Same ol same ol really but finals week I wrote 75 pages in 5 days. Pretty impressive, I think.
3. Job. I'm a chapel minister this year, and that involves planning the Wednesday night services as well as the every day morning prayer. It's pretty labor intensive but I really like it.
4. Life. This is a big one. My brother (age 22) was diagnosed with Berkitt's Lymphoma in November. It's thrown us all for a loop. He's started chemo (finished round 3 of 7 during Christmas week) and will have his first CT scan since this all happened on Thursday. Needless to say, prayers are welcome. I'm also planning a wedding. I got the dress over Christmas, and the bridesmaids picked theirs out. We have invitations too. So planning is coming along.
5. Future stuff. Now I have to turn to job things. If I don't get into a PhD program I'll be looking for a full time job in a parish. Otherwise I'll look for part time. GOEs are this week, which is stressful in and of itself. AND my ISM project is due in a month and we haven't done anything on it. Yikes. That's my project for this week-after the exams and going to the gym I've got to read like a maniac. Woowoo. And I have to get my CDO profile done so I can try to find a job. Yeehaw.

All of that has kept me away from my blog, but I'm hoping to be better about it this year. The semester should be interesting. I go to England the day after my birthday for a week, which will be fun. Mid-Feb. to March I should hear from programs and then I will have a better idea of what is going to be happening next year. Until then it's kind of up in the air.

I hope you all have a good 2009! See you around the blog!

Cheers

Hola

2008-09-25T18:33:00.003-04:00

Hey everyone. I didn't realize that it's been almost 20 days since my last entry. Sorry about that.

Needless to say, I'm SUPER busy pretty much all of the time. Class, independent study, PhD apps, and even starting to think about the wedding (which I haven't really done too much of) have taken up all of my time. Oh and chapel ministry too. That's probably a bigger time chunk than some of the PhD apps are at this point. So entries may be sparse this academic year, or at least semester. Just warning you. :)

Lots of stuff is happening here. Classes are going OK. Only one is not as good as I had hoped, but it's not bad. Just OK really. The others are fine. Chapel ministry is going well but incredibly time consuming, which is fine I just didn't realize how busy it would make me until we started doing it. I like the people I work with, though, which is great. PhD applications are starting up. I take the GRE on October 6 and tomorrow morning I'm going to work on my personal statement. Joy. I also need to start studying for the GOEs, which involves reading for Anglican history and theology 1 and at least getting the books for reference for Anglican history and theology 2 (I took a close equivalent at EDS with Ian Douglas, but the dean uses some different books here that could be useful). I'm not looking forward to taking those. The GRE shouldn't be too bad. Just tedious really, and a little writing but nothing like the GOEs will be. I still don't understand what the point of them in but no one asked me. Oh well.

Erin and Blaine are coming up in two weeks. YAY! I'm really excited about their visit. I haven't seen anyone from my family since early June, so it will have been 4 months when she gets up here!

Not much wedding planning going on, really. I've been so swamped and Rick and I have had busy weekends for the last couple of weeks and the next couple, but by mid-October things will have calmed down and we can toss some honeymoon ideas around. Christmas will be when planning begins in earnest, I think. I'm trying to keep it affordable and environmentally responsible, and most of all fun and joy-full.

Other than that...Rick and I are going to NJ this weekend to visit his parents. It will be the first time we've seen his parents since we got engaged (we haven't seen mine yet since that day, but I'll see them at Thanksgiving and he'll be down at New Years. Damn expensive plane tickets!). And we'll see his friends from college, which should be fun. They're funny guys, so it's always interesting to be around them when they get together.

Alrighty well I need to eat and study before the Office premiere comes on.

Byefornow.

Hanna 2

2008-09-06T21:22:00.002-04:00

Hanna has moved in. Interestingly enough, it's not much different than a Nor'easter. We were under a tornado warning until 9 pm, which I only found out about because I was looking at TWC's website. There are no sirens or other warning systems up here. My mom said these people don't know they're supposed to freak out. Ha. It was humid as all get out today and was awful. Rick and I didn't sleep well because it was so hot last night, so this morning we went to Denny's, the LL Bean outlet, Trader Joe's, New England Beverage Warehouse (where I was able to pick up a 12 pack of Shipyard Pumpkinhead--my all time favorite fall beer), Krispy Kreme (HUZZAH!), Kohl's (got some awesome hilarious t shirts) and a pet store to look at the puppies and kittens. I swear if Rick had said yes when the store manager asked if he wanted to hold a kitten we would have walked out of there with two of them. Ha.

But back to Hanna. Stephanie and Gordon had a spare window unit they're loaning me and that's already made a HUGE difference. I think this tropical storm is just a more humid Nor'easter. I looked at the radar and the whole state is covered in yellow and green blobs. And it is apparently supposed to rain something like 6 inches in the next day. So Rick will probably have to leave tomorrow morning after church to start emptying out his basement. LAME.

Oh well. I'll keep y'all updated.

Hanna

2008-09-06T00:09:00.003-04:00

I should preface this entire entry by stating up front that I am a total weather nerd. As a child, I loved watching the weather channel (still do, actually). During my first year in Boston there was a thundersnow, and I got so excited I had to stop walking home from the grocery--in a blizzard no less--to call home and report it.

Well, I move to New England and it's now my first Tropical Storm Warning. Hanna is moving in tonight and tomorrow. I'm not sure how this is going to be any worse or different from a Nor'easter, except that a Nor'easter stays for DAYS and this should be gone by Sunday morning. But we will see. Rick has seen a couple, although he said he wasn't paying attention enough to note whether or not there was a difference. But never fear, my land-locked readers. I will observe carefully what goes on in this Tropical Maelstrom and report back. You never know...Ike may be headed this way as well.

As my mom said, who would have thought that I would only have to travel 1000 miles away from home to New England to experience a tropical storm? I wonder if they shouldn't rename it by this point. i mean, it's hot and humid as hell up here, which is made worse by the fact that no one (including me, unfortunately, but not Rick thank God) has air conditioning. So I've spent the last few days sweating. Anyway it's still not tropical. I think the high temp tomorrow is 80. Couldn't we call it "super-tropical" because it's above the tropical region? And it sounds cooler.

But that's just my two cents.

School's In for September

2008-09-04T09:32:00.001-04:00

Whew. It feels like it's been a month since I updated this thing, but I guess it's only been a couple of weeks. Needless to say, lots has happened in that period of time!

But first, the good news, which I can officially announce via the internet...Rick and I are getting married!!!!!!!! : ) He asked me after we went out to dinner on the 13th, and of course I said yes. So now planning has commenced, and we're both really excited (favorite thing of the moment: Rick will smile, lean over, and whisper in my ear "We're gonna be married!"- it's nice to have a fiance who is just as excited as I am.). So yeah, the wedding will be next summer on July 25th. Woot woot!

Other than that, school started yesterday. I had a wonderful Shakespeare seminar downtown. The prof is hilarious! Then prayer book yesterday afternoon which was also good. Today I've got Dante, tomorrow senior colloquium (Affectionately called mass class) and Tuesday I'll have my other seminar downtown- Law religion and literature in post revolutionary England (I'm excited about that class). So not too bad. And now that part of my loan has come in I can schedule the GRE and get started on the PhD applications. The new Reformation professor here at YDS said he'd help out as much as he can as I start applying, so that's good.

Yep. Things are going well. And my sister is coming to visit in a little over a month! I hope the weather is good, but if not there are still some great things I'm hoping we can do. The apples are already ripe for picking, but I think there will still be some then. So we'll see.

For those who were wondering, I preached yesterday morning and everyone seemed to like the sermon. So yay! And the service last night, which I spent days planning, went really well also! I slept in this morning to recuperate (I was exhausted yesterday, to say the least). So now it's time to get ready for another day of school.

Later, yo.

Hanging Out

2008-08-20T11:15:00.002-04:00

Well, camp is done and school things don't start until next week, so I'm spending this week lounging around. Yesterday I woke up at 10 and then I cleaned some, followed by a 22 mile bike ride. I didn't expect the ride to take the 2.5 hours that it did, but it ended up being almost totally uphill. I don't do uphills very well, but I did the ride and completed it. My back wheel got knocked out of whack somehow, so Rick is going to look at it and fix it. We also have to re-position my seat because he said it's probably too far back (hence the back and knee pain by the end of the ride).

Today I'm spending the day uploading music onto my external hard drive. I found the correct AC cord for it, so now I can actually use it! Now I can upload all of my music and get my IPod almost back to its original state. Woohoo! Rick's roommate comes back today, which is kind of a bummer. I like the guy, but it's been really nice having the house to ourselves (as in, we can watch TV in the living room without feeling like we're taking the TV away from someone else. Let's see, what else? I'm going to go to Old Navy today to look for something for our pictures on August 30th. We're not going to match, but at least coordinate (I think we're going for blue, but maybe green...it all depends on what is on clearance!).

I'm moving down to school on Saturday. I'm really excited about this upcoming year. My classes look good. My roommates are awesome and the house is great! I'm also applying for PhD programs which will be hard but I think exciting, in that I will be writing about what I want to do. I'm trying to keep a positive outlook on the whole thing. And then I'll be planning for the big event! Huzzah!

That's about all for now. I'm going to head out sometime soon for Old Navy. Hope you're all having a pleasant day!

Massachusetts Things to Do Part ?

2008-08-17T19:19:00.002-04:00

As a continuation of an earlier post RE great things to do in New England that you might not know about, I have another one. Today Rick and I went to the Breezy Picnic and Waterslides grounds. Now, I'll start with the bad and then move on to the good. The bad: it's too expensive for what it is. For waterslide rides (unlimited) for the day and admission to the lake/picnic growns it's 17.50 for an adult. The good: it's a lot of fun! I don't think the price is right, but for a once a summer thing (maybe twice) it's fun. There are 3 waterslides that are pretty cool and the waterfront is nice. So I recommend this.

Anyway I'm back to watching the Olympics. I need to get into an Olympic team. I think mayeb curling. What do you think?

Yay!

2008-08-16T15:58:00.002-04:00

Hey there everyone. I have AWESOME news, but I'm not putting it online just yet until all the necessary persons have been informed personally. But never fear, for those of you who haven't spoken with me yet rest assured that you will know of what I am speaking soon enough.

SO aside from the wonderfulness of the last week, things here are starting to wrap-up summerwise. Camp ended on Friday. On the one hand I'm sad not to see some of the kids I've worked with, but I'm glad not to be working there anymore. It was hard working with some people who just didn't do their jobs. But whatever. I got a couple of gifts. One family got me a 25 gift card to Barnes and Noble (I'm going to use it to get Brisingr in September) and another got me a really nice Vera Bradley bag and wallet. I guess that's what happens when you work with the wealthy. At first I wasn't sure about the gift, but it's actually quite useful and the colors (blue and brown mostly) looks very "me."

BTFO starts in about a week and a few days, so chapel ministry stuff will be happening soon. I'm excited about that. I'm also ready for school to start up. I wasn't sure about what was going to happen for one of my classes, but I did decide to switch out one div school class to (hopefully) an English seminar on Religion, Law, and Literature in Post-revolutionary England. It looks cool and right up my alley so keep your fingers crossed it works out!

This week, as I'm not working, I'll probably work on some more GRE study and start getting PhD application materials in line (update CV, figure out when applications are due, making lots of lists, etc.). And I've started reading Moby Dick. Rick hated it but I'm LOVING it way more than I expected. I tend to enjoy 19th century American lit. but I especially like this one.

I was supposed to move some stuff in to my new house this weekend but no one is in town so I guess I'll have to do it next weekend, which isn't the worst thing in the world. But I still have to go to New Haven for a doctor's appointment. LAME. Hopefully I can meet Jason and/or Delfin for lunch, though. Then back to Worcester. Rick's roommate is out of town until Wednesday so we've been spending time watching the Olympics (anyone else want to hear about athletes who are NOT Michael Phelps?) and movies. Tonight we're having steak and backed potatoes and corn and then we're going to watch some LOTR (Which we've strangely never watched together). We want to see Star Wars but I think we're going to save it for next weekend.

Well, that's about all. I think we're going to Gibby's for an afternoon awesome ice cream treat, and I'm going to watch the men's 300M Steeplechase until we leave, so that's all. Just thought I would say hello to everyone! I hope your summer ends well and your school years get off to a good start!

Minuteman

2008-08-03T09:28:00.001-04:00

Rick and I rode our bikes at Minuteman National Park. now, I'm a big supporter of NPS as I worked there and they are good people, and the parks are amazing. This one was no exception. We rode nine miles (a couple in light rain but luckily it didn't pour until we got to the car) and saw the rode the British marched on April 19 1775 during the battle of Lexington and Concord. There are some original houses still standing, and they have some living history interpreters walking around. Why did I not apply for a job there? I'm a goofball, that's why. And the nature in the park is amazing...there are meadows, cornfields, and huge trees that were probably there in 1775. only downside? Now I'm sick with sinus crap, most likely from the pollen overload. I'm on 2 kinds of allergy meds and still this happens. Ridiculous! So I'm not going to move anything in New Haven today. It will have to wait until I'm down there. Oh well. Only two weeks left of camp though, which is awesome!

Tragedy and other news

2008-07-29T18:30:00.003-04:00

Sad news. Two young girls in Louisville were killed in a hit and run. This kind of thing is tragic in and of itself, but the families were both members of the Diocese of Kentucky, and one of the families I know decently well (but I never knew the child). Anyway it's been a really tough week for a lot of people in the Diocese, and for those in the community who knew Riley and Claudia. I didn't know them, but I know it's a tragedy when two young people are taken so needlessly. And the fact that their parents are only a little older than I makes it tough to think about as well.

Here's the news story about the funeral. Normally I wouldn't point this out, but you should look at the photo gallery. Something about seeing so many people, and seeing the priests in Easter white was very moving. But even more moving is the sermon from Ben Maas, rector of St. Andrew's. I cried reading the whole thing, but it is a moving sermon and probably about all you could say in the face of this tragedy. So read it, and look at the pictures, and remember that we are an Easter people.

In other news not much is going on aside from work work and more work. I thought it was getting better but today I was reminded just how much I don't really like my job. Luckily the kids make it worthwhile. Nothing really happened today, it's just some people's general attitudes. But I can't change them and there's only 2.5 weeks left so whatever.

On a happier note, my sister and Blaine are planning a visit for October. YAY!!! I'm super pumped about it, and hope it all works out so that it will happen. it would be so awesome to have them up here!

That's about all for now. I'm going to hop on the exercise bike now to work off the PBJ I just ate and work off the stress from my job. Hope you're having a good summer!

Busy busy.

2008-07-13T13:33:00.003-04:00

I realize it has once again been a while since my last blog post, but this summer has been busier than most. So here we go with what's gone on lately...

I just got back from Matt and Emily's wedding. It was wonderful! I officiated, and it went well so I was happy about that, and I got lots of compliments which I took to mean the families were happy (as were the bride and groom, which really is all that matters) so huzzah. We went to Salisbury beach yesterday morning to pass the time and loved it. Way better than Hampton, so I think we're going to make that our new beach. AND it's a state park, so we can support the state park system. I think next summer we'll get an annual pass so we don't have to pay 7.00 every time we go in. We also saw Dan yesterday which was great. Hopefully I'll be getting together with him and also Tricia (though prob a different occasion) sometime soon. I have no money at the moment though, so frivolity will have to wait.

Other than that, I've just been working. The job is going a little better and I've gotten to know a few of the people I work with more, which is nice. The camp director also seems to like me a lot because I actually do my job, so that's good. And the kids I have are really learning their stuff and seem to be excited about it, as much as they hate it sometimes that I won't let them do cannonballs the whole time like some of the other teachers. But whatever. They're learning and that's important. I had two of my littlest kids (4 and 5) learn how to swim on their back when they kept saying they couldn't. That was super exciting. So yeah. Camp is camp, although it's weird sometimes to think about how wealthy these kids are but how they don't even know it. I hope they learn to use their privilege for good when they get older.

The garden is doing well. We have tomatoes, and when I got back from NH today there are tons of cucumber and squash blossoms!!!!!! I think they bloomed while we were away, but I'm so excited! I never thought I would be able to grow anything until a few years ago when I did a garden for my mom. I may not be able to do flowers, but I can do vegetables it seems. Hopefully these will all turn out well. I've never done cucumbers before, but they plants are huge now that we got back from NH! I'll actually have to attach them to the trellis (they haven't gotten big enough yet).

Not much else is going on here. Work. work. Study for the GRE. Still waiting on books to get here. I only need 1 more and then I can start on my history reading. I've also finished David McCullough's John Adams, but I'll review that one in a little while. For now it's time to wash cars and then go to BJs for some shoppin'.

Hope you're having a fun summer!

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2008-07-01T18:13:00.002-04:00

Sorry for the delay. Life has been crazy, and now that work has started I feel like I'm either working all of the time or trying to get in at least a little hang out time with Rick. The job is going OK...better this week than last week so far. I work with mostly 19 year olds who don't understand that working at camp means you're there for the kids and not the salary. But yesterday and today have been better, so I'm hoping things will get at least more bearable. It's been quite sunny and hot, and it seems no matter how many times I put on sunscreen I'm still getting slightly burnt, although I'm pretty tan now. But I'm standing on a pool deck with no shade from 8:30 AM to 3:00 PM so that's likely to brown the skin. Or bake it. Or both.

Anyway...I've been studying for the GRE. Vocab mostly, but yesterday I started some different stuff. It's boring but necessary. I'm still waiting on two books for my summer reading, and one of them I am about to order from Amazon and cancel the Marketplace order because it's been 17 days and no word on anything, and this particular book is still in print. This is why I don't like Amazon Marketplace. I always end up with the sellers who don't stay in touch very well. LAME. Hopefully I can get something figured out soon.

Rick and I went for a bike ride on Sunday-18 miles (about). It wasn't very long but it felt good. And yesterday we worked out at the house. Don't know if we're riding or using the machines tonight, but I slept so well last night because of the workout! It was great. And I swam yesterday, but I don't really have time the rest of this week. So maybe we'll do a little bit longer workout tonight.

On another note, the Global Anglican Future Conference (GAFCON) recently met in Jerusalem and issued this statement about the state of the communion. It was interesting reading, albeit not surprising. In fact, I'm a little surprised something like this hadn't come out sooner, but they timed it to be released soon before the Lambeth Conference starts to meet. Needless to say, I think it may make things a bit...ummm...AWKWARD. Rowan Williams responded with this statement which I thought was pretty decent. While I don't agree with some of the ways he's been handling contentious issues (such as the ordination of women bishops in the CoE), I thought this was a statement that was willing to look at both the positive and negatives, especially considering the fact that his "authority" is being questioned by GAFCON. Very pastoral and I think a very open look at a statement of concerned leaders in the world. Just because someone disagrees with you doesn't mean you should automatically dismiss them, and Williams's statement displays this. Unfortunately, PB Jefferts-Schori was not so gracious. This letter is, to me, at least as damning of the GAFCON folks as they are of the AoC and ECUSA. I was incredibly disappointed to read this statement from our Presiding Bishop. While Williams made the excellent point that getting rid of colonialism doesn't necessarily mean the colonized taken over the former colonizers (although I'm sure there are many who might dispute that point), Jefferts-Schori just seems to write off the GAFCON folks as not even Anglican.

How very un-Anglican of her.

Sheesh.