Finished the Gore paper this morning. A few of my favorite quotes from him:
"Now what is it that has in fact made Christianity so real a Gospel? It is the simplicity of its message. It holds up the crucifix and says, 'Sic Deus dilexit mundum.' This is a simple message, and it is simple because it points to facts, to the old, old story of the life and death of Jesus. But observe, the facts only constitute a Gospel, because a certain interpretation of them is implied. It were no Gospel that the best of men, after a life of boundless self-sacrifice, should have been harried to death on Calvary. It only becomes a Gospel if He who submits to this ignominious death really reveals the love, not of man only, but of God, if He really was the Son of God, who out of the love which is His own and His Father's, had come to give Himself in sacrifice for man. It only becomes a Gospel again, if God's power is shewn through the weakness of Christ's death, and He gave assurance of this to all men in that He raised Him from the dead. If He was the Son of God, if He was raised form the dead, we have our Gospel for the world...But the power of this Gospel depends utterly on an interpretation of the facts which is necessarily theological, or (considered intellectually) metaphysical, involving the special doctrine of the pre-existent person of the Son who was sent into the world." -The Incarnation of the Son of God, 23-3, 1891.
“that any really true and distinctive presentation of the principles of Christian living and Christian brotherhood, made vivid and intelligible, and applied under modern conditions, must claim a profound change, not only in the region of the social and industrial life, but even more in the region of our prejudices and presuppositions” - Christianity Applied to the Life of Men and of Nations, 41, 1920.
“the evils which we deplore in our present society are not the inevitable results of any unalterable laws of nature…but are the fruits of human blindness (largely voluntary blindness), willfulness, avarice and selfishness on the widest scale and in the long course of history: and their alteration demands something more than legislative and external changes…it demands a fundamental change in the spirit in which we think about and live our common life” -Christ and Society, 178, 1928.
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
A new record!
I just ran for 61 minutes. I realize this isn't a marathon. And I realize that I don't run very fast (around an 11 minute mile on a good day) but still. 61 minutes! It's weird though-61 minutes of intense biking doesn't leave my legs feeling like jelly. This did though. Oh well. Still kinda cool to say I can run continuously for over an hour. I'm sure this will come in handy some day...
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
La la la la
It's always so hard to concentrate when there are only a couple of things left to do, but they don't feel particularly pressing. Well, the final doesn't feel that way to me. Maybe it should, but it's for a year-long course on Dante and it's basically doing some very close readings of the passages. No one really knows how to prepare for it, so I've just been taking some notes and reading the footnotes and hopefully if I do that enough they will stick.
The other thing I'm working on right now is a paper on Charles Gore's incarnational theology as the basis for Christian ethics. It's actually really interesting. People in general are pretty hard on Charles Gore, claiming that he's got a very kenotic christology (which focuses on a complete self-emptying of God in Christ...the problem is that people say this focuses too much on the human side and not on the divine). The more I've read of Gore, though, the more I think he's a little more rounded than it seems from his 1891 Bampton Lectures. He does talk about and sin and the cross, although I don't think he does so as well as Michael Ramsey (who, incidentally, was a big Charles Gore fan).
Anyway, back to the paper. My whole argument is that the Incarnation of the Word not only allowed us to have a new relationship with God, but also allows us to have new relationships with one another because we have the living example of Christ-the "crown of nature"
or "real man" as Gore would put it. There's a danger here of focusing too much on the idea of progress (although Gore was still writing post WWI he was trained before the Great War and thus reflects ideas of progress inherent in that time period). So what I'm arguing is that the Incarnation allows us to approach relationships with one another in new ways that are modeled on the humanity of Christ. Hopefully I'll be able to draw in a few comments from Rowan Williams, who critiqued incarnational theology in his "On Christian Theology" book, but who I think draws on Gore-perhaps unintentionally (although no Anglican theologian worth his salt could ignore Gore...nor do they, I believe) when he talks about the Christian community standing over and against all other forms of community because we share in Christ incarnate, crucified, and risen. Gore lays the foundation for all of this (as does F.D. Maurice but I only have 8-10 pages so I'm focusing on Gore because he's the less obvious choice, thereby making a greater contribution to scholarship...in my dreams at least).
So that's what I'm working on. Hopefully I'll get comments on my Herbert and Eucharistic theology paper back on Friday, so I can start working it up for this competition I'm going to enter it in. And getting it polished for PhD/ThD applications.
And then it's time to read whatever I want for the year. I've started compiling a reading list. Thus far it consists of:
Into Thin Air (own it, never read it)
Life of Pi
Dear Fatty (Dawn French's Autobiography-out in the UK but not here until October I think)
The Brothers Karamazov (only made it half way through about 3 times. I'm determined to
finish it)
King Lear
Everything written by Rowan Williams in book form, as well as sermons on his website
More Michael Ramsey
Maybe some Lancelot Andrewes (if you can't tell I'm trying to widen my reading in Anglican theology and spirituality for PhD stuff)
And in there I'm going to sprinkle a whole lot of fun not very heady books. And I want to write a short blurb on all of them so that I can keep track of what I've read.
Oh and I'm thinking about teaching myself Latin this year, or at least starting it. And reviewing my Greek. I'd like to take Hebrew if I decide against Latin, but that will largely depend on where I'm working this next year. If I'm in a college town, I could audit a class at a local university. I'd just like to be able to do some solid biblical exegesis in the original language. I know enough Greek to be able to do that with the NT (and have used it in preaching, which is the real reason I want to know it) but I'd like to be able to do the same for Hebrew. And Latin would just be helpful since I tend to find myself in sixteenth century when I'm studying. But that's something to decide in August. I thought about taking my Greek textbook, NT, and middle Lidell home, but decided that I wouldn't study it anyway this summer so why carry it all there. It will be easier in the fall when I'm in more of a routine and when it's not so nice outside that I would rather be sitting in the pool. And I'm not sure flashcards would work out so well while floating in crystal clear chlorinated water...maybe a better mind could do it, but I'll take some Diana Gabaldon instead. : ) (speaking of which I think she has a new one coming out this fall! Yay for Clare and Jamie!)
OK must read Dante now...
The other thing I'm working on right now is a paper on Charles Gore's incarnational theology as the basis for Christian ethics. It's actually really interesting. People in general are pretty hard on Charles Gore, claiming that he's got a very kenotic christology (which focuses on a complete self-emptying of God in Christ...the problem is that people say this focuses too much on the human side and not on the divine). The more I've read of Gore, though, the more I think he's a little more rounded than it seems from his 1891 Bampton Lectures. He does talk about and sin and the cross, although I don't think he does so as well as Michael Ramsey (who, incidentally, was a big Charles Gore fan).
Anyway, back to the paper. My whole argument is that the Incarnation of the Word not only allowed us to have a new relationship with God, but also allows us to have new relationships with one another because we have the living example of Christ-the "crown of nature"
or "real man" as Gore would put it. There's a danger here of focusing too much on the idea of progress (although Gore was still writing post WWI he was trained before the Great War and thus reflects ideas of progress inherent in that time period). So what I'm arguing is that the Incarnation allows us to approach relationships with one another in new ways that are modeled on the humanity of Christ. Hopefully I'll be able to draw in a few comments from Rowan Williams, who critiqued incarnational theology in his "On Christian Theology" book, but who I think draws on Gore-perhaps unintentionally (although no Anglican theologian worth his salt could ignore Gore...nor do they, I believe) when he talks about the Christian community standing over and against all other forms of community because we share in Christ incarnate, crucified, and risen. Gore lays the foundation for all of this (as does F.D. Maurice but I only have 8-10 pages so I'm focusing on Gore because he's the less obvious choice, thereby making a greater contribution to scholarship...in my dreams at least).
So that's what I'm working on. Hopefully I'll get comments on my Herbert and Eucharistic theology paper back on Friday, so I can start working it up for this competition I'm going to enter it in. And getting it polished for PhD/ThD applications.
And then it's time to read whatever I want for the year. I've started compiling a reading list. Thus far it consists of:
Into Thin Air (own it, never read it)
Life of Pi
Dear Fatty (Dawn French's Autobiography-out in the UK but not here until October I think)
The Brothers Karamazov (only made it half way through about 3 times. I'm determined to
finish it)
King Lear
Everything written by Rowan Williams in book form, as well as sermons on his website
More Michael Ramsey
Maybe some Lancelot Andrewes (if you can't tell I'm trying to widen my reading in Anglican theology and spirituality for PhD stuff)
And in there I'm going to sprinkle a whole lot of fun not very heady books. And I want to write a short blurb on all of them so that I can keep track of what I've read.
Oh and I'm thinking about teaching myself Latin this year, or at least starting it. And reviewing my Greek. I'd like to take Hebrew if I decide against Latin, but that will largely depend on where I'm working this next year. If I'm in a college town, I could audit a class at a local university. I'd just like to be able to do some solid biblical exegesis in the original language. I know enough Greek to be able to do that with the NT (and have used it in preaching, which is the real reason I want to know it) but I'd like to be able to do the same for Hebrew. And Latin would just be helpful since I tend to find myself in sixteenth century when I'm studying. But that's something to decide in August. I thought about taking my Greek textbook, NT, and middle Lidell home, but decided that I wouldn't study it anyway this summer so why carry it all there. It will be easier in the fall when I'm in more of a routine and when it's not so nice outside that I would rather be sitting in the pool. And I'm not sure flashcards would work out so well while floating in crystal clear chlorinated water...maybe a better mind could do it, but I'll take some Diana Gabaldon instead. : ) (speaking of which I think she has a new one coming out this fall! Yay for Clare and Jamie!)
OK must read Dante now...
Monday, May 04, 2009
Update
Hey there. I don't have too much time to write, because I should be doing some research. Just thought I would let you all know that I'm still hanging in. It's finals week, and I have an 8-10 page paper and a final left, and then I'm DONE with master's number two. Wootwoot. Also, I'm hopefully lining up some job prospects. I have at least one interview this month, with two more possibilities. We'll see. Rick and I went to one of the churches this past week and liked it. It was a little bit chaotic (I felt like there was very little sense of cohesive movement among the congregation at times like communion) but the people were friendly and the rector could do a great baptism. So that's good.
Other than that...we're getting more excited about the wedding. We registered at Sears on Sunday. Woohoo! Still have Walmart and Lowes left to register at, but we'll probably do those this weekend. Once classes are done I can finish packing up everything (I'm about 1/4-1/3 of the way there) and try to sell my car. Then home to KY for a few days, then back here for a couple of weeks, then back to KY for the summer until the wedding. Phew.
I'm reading a good book right now. I think it will be the first post in my book postings on this blog.
Also, I'm stoked that the new Star Trek comes out this week. Simon Pegg is in it, and Rick and I both really like his stuff (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Run Fatboy Run) and maybe just maybe we'll go see it at the drive in on Friday night!
Other than that...we're getting more excited about the wedding. We registered at Sears on Sunday. Woohoo! Still have Walmart and Lowes left to register at, but we'll probably do those this weekend. Once classes are done I can finish packing up everything (I'm about 1/4-1/3 of the way there) and try to sell my car. Then home to KY for a few days, then back here for a couple of weeks, then back to KY for the summer until the wedding. Phew.
I'm reading a good book right now. I think it will be the first post in my book postings on this blog.
Also, I'm stoked that the new Star Trek comes out this week. Simon Pegg is in it, and Rick and I both really like his stuff (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Run Fatboy Run) and maybe just maybe we'll go see it at the drive in on Friday night!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Crapola
I'll admit it. I'm scared- not so much in a "there's a big scary monster under the bed" kind of way, but a "I don't have a job and no one wants to hire me" kind of way. I think this would all feel better if there were continually jobs opening up, but there aren't. And I have a MASSIVE amount of student loan debt and only 300 dollars to my name right now. Seriously.
I've been joking about working at Starbucks, but more and more that's looking like it's going to be a reality, as long as they'll hire me. I don't know what it pays, but I do know that they have health insurance, so at least I could have that covered.
I had a conversation with another potential employer today. I thought it went OK...wasn't an official interview or anything (I seem to be having lots of these "conversations" lately) but I felt an underlying hesitance to hire an ordained person. So if that doesn't work out, there are two church options I'm also exploring but beyond that...nothing.
Maybe I'll get a sandwich board and work in a Boston McDonald's and proclaim "Hey! I have grad degrees from Harvard AND Yale, awesome grades, am ordained female and under 30, AND NO CHURCHES WILL HIRE ME!!!!" Think that might work? Ha.
Sorry to have such down-er blog posts lately. It's really just this all consuming issue in my life at the moment, and is made harder by the fact that almost everyone else in my class who's being ordained in ECUSA has a job or is in a diocese where they help you find jobs. It's just...frustrating. I know something will happen. God wouldn't get me this far and then just kind of leave me alone and not present some opportunity for ministry (not in a fatalistic "this was meant to be or wasn't meant to be" kind of way) but it's hard to keep that ever present when no money and lots of loans to pay back loom in the very near future. Arg. I'm not filling out some of these surveys they keep sending the graduating students because I don't have a job, and it's depressing and shaming (I know I know it shouldn't be but we all have pride issues) and I just don't want to advertise at graduation "hey I can't seem to get hired and don't know what the f*** I'm doing now!" kind of thing.
And on top of this I don't think my diocese is going to make it possible for Rick to be at my ordination. Which is also hard. I want him to be there, and I think it's important for him to be there. He's part of my ministry, and can't be there for a very important point in it. Lame.
Well, back to the old exams and papers.
Oh and by the way, WTF with the 90 degree weather in Boston today? Weird. It was 81 here and is supposed to be 58 tomorrow. So strange.
I've been joking about working at Starbucks, but more and more that's looking like it's going to be a reality, as long as they'll hire me. I don't know what it pays, but I do know that they have health insurance, so at least I could have that covered.
I had a conversation with another potential employer today. I thought it went OK...wasn't an official interview or anything (I seem to be having lots of these "conversations" lately) but I felt an underlying hesitance to hire an ordained person. So if that doesn't work out, there are two church options I'm also exploring but beyond that...nothing.
Maybe I'll get a sandwich board and work in a Boston McDonald's and proclaim "Hey! I have grad degrees from Harvard AND Yale, awesome grades, am ordained female and under 30, AND NO CHURCHES WILL HIRE ME!!!!" Think that might work? Ha.
Sorry to have such down-er blog posts lately. It's really just this all consuming issue in my life at the moment, and is made harder by the fact that almost everyone else in my class who's being ordained in ECUSA has a job or is in a diocese where they help you find jobs. It's just...frustrating. I know something will happen. God wouldn't get me this far and then just kind of leave me alone and not present some opportunity for ministry (not in a fatalistic "this was meant to be or wasn't meant to be" kind of way) but it's hard to keep that ever present when no money and lots of loans to pay back loom in the very near future. Arg. I'm not filling out some of these surveys they keep sending the graduating students because I don't have a job, and it's depressing and shaming (I know I know it shouldn't be but we all have pride issues) and I just don't want to advertise at graduation "hey I can't seem to get hired and don't know what the f*** I'm doing now!" kind of thing.
And on top of this I don't think my diocese is going to make it possible for Rick to be at my ordination. Which is also hard. I want him to be there, and I think it's important for him to be there. He's part of my ministry, and can't be there for a very important point in it. Lame.
Well, back to the old exams and papers.
Oh and by the way, WTF with the 90 degree weather in Boston today? Weird. It was 81 here and is supposed to be 58 tomorrow. So strange.
Monday, April 27, 2009
...
Not too much to say today. It started off as a great day-I woke up before my alarm clock (and on a day when I didn't have to get up particularly early, no less!) to a sunny room with the fans blowing and the wonderful quiet of the morning that happens in this neighborhood, except on trash days or when there's construction. Then I had a nice breakfast. Then I got the phone call telling me I wasn't being considered for a position that I had interviewed particularly well for because I couldn't live in the neighborhood. That definitely put a damper on my day-and that was 9:30 this morning. Woo. I shelved at the library for four hours- four hours in a tiny, hot, and stuffy room standing on concrete and lifting books. But it was gettin' paid so whatever.
The church thing is so disappointing because I didn't grow up thinking of ECUSA as an insular church. My diocese had always brought in people from all over-you didn't have to be from KY to work for the church in KY. But I'm finding in this neck of the woods that so often people really only want those who are from their diocese...I have to wait until "their own" get placed before I can take a look at the leftovers. And that's a hard thing to swallow, especially when I feel that I've got a lot of energy and potential-not to mention that I'm hardworking and excited about Jesus.
Luckily I have an interview tomorrow with the position that I really really REALLY want and feel most called to. I don't think the pay is great (I heard on the grape vine around 17 000 but I don't know if that's true, although it does include health benefits and that would get me in for the pension fund) BUT it's doing young adult ministry which is what I feel called to do. And I would get to do it NOT as a side job, but as THE job! And that would be awesome.
So pray hard for me tomorrow. I really feel called to what this job asks people to do...and I feel I could do a lot in that position. I just have to get it first...
The church thing is so disappointing because I didn't grow up thinking of ECUSA as an insular church. My diocese had always brought in people from all over-you didn't have to be from KY to work for the church in KY. But I'm finding in this neck of the woods that so often people really only want those who are from their diocese...I have to wait until "their own" get placed before I can take a look at the leftovers. And that's a hard thing to swallow, especially when I feel that I've got a lot of energy and potential-not to mention that I'm hardworking and excited about Jesus.
Luckily I have an interview tomorrow with the position that I really really REALLY want and feel most called to. I don't think the pay is great (I heard on the grape vine around 17 000 but I don't know if that's true, although it does include health benefits and that would get me in for the pension fund) BUT it's doing young adult ministry which is what I feel called to do. And I would get to do it NOT as a side job, but as THE job! And that would be awesome.
So pray hard for me tomorrow. I really feel called to what this job asks people to do...and I feel I could do a lot in that position. I just have to get it first...
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Adventures With My Neti (or Netti?)
To preface this post, I have been in allergy hell for the past few days. I LOVE spring. I love summer even more. And spring in New England is so intense I think because it's a short season...things just became green this past week, and April is almost over! Needless to say, that's been a hard adjustment to make up here in Yankee-ville. The South definitely has this whole spring thing down better (as well as just about everything else).
Anyway, I'd been taking my normal allergy medicine regimen when all of this kicked in so I added some pseudophedrine on top of that to try and help get me over the hump. So then I switched to benadryl. And ibuprofen. I'm still coughing (not as much though) and still sniffling, but with the help of tissues with aloe in them to keep me from looking like rudolph and some allergy meds, I may be seeing a tiny speck of light in the distance. Or maybe not. I don't want to jinx myself.
I'd been hearing about neti pots for a while, and a post on Facebook from a friend reminded me about them. I told her I wasn't going to get one, as it looked like something Dwight Schrute would use and I wasn't ready to go that road. But then I saw one on sale for 8.99 and figured what the hell. I'd give it a shot. Hence the picture at the beginning of the blog.
Needless to say, it's kind of weird. See below:
You basically pour water mixed with a saline solution into one nostril and it goes into the snus cavities, flushes them out, and drains out of the other nostril. I think I'm getting a little more used to it, but it's still kind of weird. It does leave you with a nice refreshing feeling afterwards, though. And it's all natural, which is nice. It says you can use it for kids over 4, but I'm not sure a. how this could fit up a four year old's nose (it barely fits up mine) and b. how they would know not to breathe out of their nose and only their mouth. If you don't do that, the solution drains down the back of your throat, which is pretty gross.The whole process is kind of wet and gross, but no worse than a saline nasal spray.
That's what has been occupying my time. Trying to beat allergies. That and wedding planning. And finding a job. And finishing the semester. But the neti pot seemed the most interesting...weird, huh?
Sorry if that grossed you out Mom. Didn't mean to.
Oh and I finished two books this week (fun books, not school books). A Lion Among Men, which was OK but a little too pyschological for me, and World Without End, which took me months to get through after I started it at Christmas because I just didn't have time. It was good...very much like Pillars of the Earth, though. Now I've moved on to Blue Highways. It's a travel narrative/journal but it's pretty interesting. I've started compiling a list of books to read during the next year when I can read whatever the hell I want. It's going to be great! This blog may turn into a book journal of sorts...I think I'm more likely to do it if it's electronic rather than handwritten. So keep your eyes open. It may even start this summer! Woohoo!
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Just me...how novel.
I've been looking at various wedding things lately (obviously because of planning) and I've been amazed by how much pressure there is out there to create "the perfect day." I've gotten two great pieces of advice about this whole process. The first was from my mom, who basically said "It's your wedding, you can do what you want." Not from a she doesn't care perspective, but from a perspective of "it's your wedding and Rick's wedding and no one else's" which I think is great. So that's been awesome. And someone else told me to think of the wedding as a big party celebrating you and your fiance (by then husband!). And that's the attitude we've had throughout this whole thing. It's about making our commitment before God and our families and then celebrating. This is a little more in line with the Eastern Orthodox tradition of weddings, but I think there's something there. So here are things we've decided on that may go against the "traditional" ideas of weddings. Not that any of you reading this are likely getting married, but in case some random bride to be comes across this, she can get encouragement (and hopefully the groom to be as well!).
1. We're not having champagne. For some reason this one sticks out to me because that champagne toast is so...the thing. My sister didn't do it either. They had some white sangria. Rick and I are having beer, because we love beer and it's part of who we are as a couple (Note: we are not alcoholics, but in fact have a real interest in different kinds of beers and in brewing our own. Just wanted to put that out there). Furthermore, it's going to be a wheat beer brewed at a local microbrewery.
2. No flower girl. Mostly because there's no little girl in either immediate family for the job. My nephew will be the most fantastic ring bearer ever, though.
3. No DJ. No Dancing. It's all about the iPod as background music.
4. Flowers. We're getting them bulk from a florist and just going with daisies. Nothing fancy shmancy. Just very simple and pretty and summery.
5. I have a bridesman, aka my brother. We did this at my sister's wedding as well. Nathan is my brother, and I want him on my side supporting me during the wedding. Gender stereotypes be damned!
6. We decided (after a long think on it) not to go with tuxes. That in itself isn't so odd, but I think it's a little less normal for an indoor church wedding. But I'm excited about what they'll be wearing, so it should be good.
7. Krispy Kreme donuts for the wedding cake. I am soooooo excited about this.
Now that I've looked back on this list, none of those are that weird really. Just not what you'd see in Father of the Bride (although that is a great movie). I still haven't decided on whether Rick and I will have pics taken together before or after the wedding. There's the whole not seeing each other thing, but there's also the "Wanting to have fun at the party instead of having our pictures taken" thing as well. I would rather have a choreographed moment of Rick seeing me for the first time (so we can get the picture of it : ) ) than miss the entire reception.
And then it's off to Disney World. I'm am so pumped about this. I haven't been on what I would consider a real vacation since I was 11. I've been places, most definitely, all over the world. But they've always been for various study or mission reasons. This will be going someplace where we are there to relax completely. And it is going to rock (I could go into my whole theological views of going on a real vacation...but not at the moment).
Other than that...just doing homework. Yeehaw. I swear it's not getting any warmer here, which is beyond depressing. It's sunny and things are starting to bloom, but it's still relatively cold. Every now and then we'll get a day that's close to 60, but that's about as good as it gets. Where's spring??????
1. We're not having champagne. For some reason this one sticks out to me because that champagne toast is so...the thing. My sister didn't do it either. They had some white sangria. Rick and I are having beer, because we love beer and it's part of who we are as a couple (Note: we are not alcoholics, but in fact have a real interest in different kinds of beers and in brewing our own. Just wanted to put that out there). Furthermore, it's going to be a wheat beer brewed at a local microbrewery.
2. No flower girl. Mostly because there's no little girl in either immediate family for the job. My nephew will be the most fantastic ring bearer ever, though.
3. No DJ. No Dancing. It's all about the iPod as background music.
4. Flowers. We're getting them bulk from a florist and just going with daisies. Nothing fancy shmancy. Just very simple and pretty and summery.
5. I have a bridesman, aka my brother. We did this at my sister's wedding as well. Nathan is my brother, and I want him on my side supporting me during the wedding. Gender stereotypes be damned!
6. We decided (after a long think on it) not to go with tuxes. That in itself isn't so odd, but I think it's a little less normal for an indoor church wedding. But I'm excited about what they'll be wearing, so it should be good.
7. Krispy Kreme donuts for the wedding cake. I am soooooo excited about this.
Now that I've looked back on this list, none of those are that weird really. Just not what you'd see in Father of the Bride (although that is a great movie). I still haven't decided on whether Rick and I will have pics taken together before or after the wedding. There's the whole not seeing each other thing, but there's also the "Wanting to have fun at the party instead of having our pictures taken" thing as well. I would rather have a choreographed moment of Rick seeing me for the first time (so we can get the picture of it : ) ) than miss the entire reception.
And then it's off to Disney World. I'm am so pumped about this. I haven't been on what I would consider a real vacation since I was 11. I've been places, most definitely, all over the world. But they've always been for various study or mission reasons. This will be going someplace where we are there to relax completely. And it is going to rock (I could go into my whole theological views of going on a real vacation...but not at the moment).
Other than that...just doing homework. Yeehaw. I swear it's not getting any warmer here, which is beyond depressing. It's sunny and things are starting to bloom, but it's still relatively cold. Every now and then we'll get a day that's close to 60, but that's about as good as it gets. Where's spring??????
Monday, April 06, 2009
Whoa.
The subject line to this is a reaction on my part. I actually finished a paper today and it's not due until the 16th. Now, many of you will not think this is a big deal. BUT if you've ever been in graduate school (for the humanities, in particular) you will know that this is a feat. I have yet to proof the paper, but I like to have a day or two in between so I come to it with fresh eyes. Anyway I just thought I would share the accomplishment. Not a major life or world-changing event, but it's nice to have it done. Now I just need to do some reading...
Sunday, April 05, 2009
OK...
NOTE: I accidentally posted this on the family blog the other day, and just now realized it. but it's all information they already know. So I'm putting it on the blog it's supposed to go on. Sorry fam for boring you with things you already knew...
Hey Everyone. It's been a month since I've posted, so I thought I would say hey and let you all know what's going on. Life has been a bit hectic as of late, with the semester starting to come to a close and job searches going on in earnest. And wedding planning! And my journey for getting into shape. So here we go!
Family life has been crazy as it has been this entire year. We're all ready for the bad stuff to stop. Seriously. Enough is enough. Hopefully we're starting to come out of this thunderstorm that has been October-Now. Prayers are always welcome, and still definitely needed for the family.
The semester is starting to end. Only 3 weeks left of class, which is crazy to think about, especially since I'm not starting a PhD in the fall. But since I've been in school since kindergarten, it will be good to have a year off. The only downside is trying to find a job. The economy sucks and there aren't many full time associate positions out there, but I'm trying my best. I've had a preliminary conversation at one parish, and will hopefully have a formal interview there. I have another interview with a parish later this month-that one looks pretty intense. I'm scheduled for about 5 hours of time with them, and that's just on a first interview! And then I hopefully have a phone interview early next week at another place. The teaching jobs are so few I'm not hopeful about those. If nothing else, I'll work Sundays at my friend Mike's church and work at Starbucks or something during the week while I get PhD applications under way. I'm going to go about the whole thing in a different manner, and I'm hoping that will help me apply to more programs. The reality is that I want to do good solid scholarship on Anglican spirituality, and to do that I need the PhD. But that could be in theology, history, or even English. So I'm going to widen my search. I have to start working on that now, though, so that I can make an even better personal statement.
Rick and I are making progress in the wedding planning. We were conflicted about the tux choice, so we finally decided to nix that. The guys are going to be in khakis with a white shirt and cornflower tie. Rick will be in a tan suit. I think that will look great, and be way more comfortable (and cheaper!). Blaine's hopefully going to wear a seersucker number. It's going to be adorable. And I found the shoes (Birkenstocks) that I want for the wedding. So that's all good. And we made a flower decision. I just need to put together the liturgy, and we'll be doing invites in May when I'm home for the dress fitting. And the honeymoon is slowly but surely being paid off! I'm really excited about marrying Rick, and the wedding is going to be an awesome celebration of the two of us!
For those who don't know, in Feb. I joined weightwatchers online. So far I've lost 21 lbs! It's exciting. Although I had Indian food for dinner and feel like I just gained it all back! Oh well. There are good days and bad days, but I'm in better shape and my clothes fit better and I feel better. And that's what matters. It's weird though. Everyone asks if I'm doing it for the wedding. And the honest to God answer is no, I'm not. Rick thinks I'm beautiful regardless. He's lost lots of weight too, recently, but I find him handsome no matter what. The truth is that we want to start our marriage living a healthy lifestyle, so that we can bring our kids up living a healthy lifestyle as well.
Other than that, just doing homework really. I'm working on a paper I am going to enter into some competitions and hopefully get published. I hope it turns out well. Seriously. I like the topic and everything too. So we'll see.
Anyway that's all for now. Hope you're all doing well and enjoying the spring!
Cheers
Hilary
Hey Everyone. It's been a month since I've posted, so I thought I would say hey and let you all know what's going on. Life has been a bit hectic as of late, with the semester starting to come to a close and job searches going on in earnest. And wedding planning! And my journey for getting into shape. So here we go!
Family life has been crazy as it has been this entire year. We're all ready for the bad stuff to stop. Seriously. Enough is enough. Hopefully we're starting to come out of this thunderstorm that has been October-Now. Prayers are always welcome, and still definitely needed for the family.
The semester is starting to end. Only 3 weeks left of class, which is crazy to think about, especially since I'm not starting a PhD in the fall. But since I've been in school since kindergarten, it will be good to have a year off. The only downside is trying to find a job. The economy sucks and there aren't many full time associate positions out there, but I'm trying my best. I've had a preliminary conversation at one parish, and will hopefully have a formal interview there. I have another interview with a parish later this month-that one looks pretty intense. I'm scheduled for about 5 hours of time with them, and that's just on a first interview! And then I hopefully have a phone interview early next week at another place. The teaching jobs are so few I'm not hopeful about those. If nothing else, I'll work Sundays at my friend Mike's church and work at Starbucks or something during the week while I get PhD applications under way. I'm going to go about the whole thing in a different manner, and I'm hoping that will help me apply to more programs. The reality is that I want to do good solid scholarship on Anglican spirituality, and to do that I need the PhD. But that could be in theology, history, or even English. So I'm going to widen my search. I have to start working on that now, though, so that I can make an even better personal statement.
Rick and I are making progress in the wedding planning. We were conflicted about the tux choice, so we finally decided to nix that. The guys are going to be in khakis with a white shirt and cornflower tie. Rick will be in a tan suit. I think that will look great, and be way more comfortable (and cheaper!). Blaine's hopefully going to wear a seersucker number. It's going to be adorable. And I found the shoes (Birkenstocks) that I want for the wedding. So that's all good. And we made a flower decision. I just need to put together the liturgy, and we'll be doing invites in May when I'm home for the dress fitting. And the honeymoon is slowly but surely being paid off! I'm really excited about marrying Rick, and the wedding is going to be an awesome celebration of the two of us!
For those who don't know, in Feb. I joined weightwatchers online. So far I've lost 21 lbs! It's exciting. Although I had Indian food for dinner and feel like I just gained it all back! Oh well. There are good days and bad days, but I'm in better shape and my clothes fit better and I feel better. And that's what matters. It's weird though. Everyone asks if I'm doing it for the wedding. And the honest to God answer is no, I'm not. Rick thinks I'm beautiful regardless. He's lost lots of weight too, recently, but I find him handsome no matter what. The truth is that we want to start our marriage living a healthy lifestyle, so that we can bring our kids up living a healthy lifestyle as well.
Other than that, just doing homework really. I'm working on a paper I am going to enter into some competitions and hopefully get published. I hope it turns out well. Seriously. I like the topic and everything too. So we'll see.
Anyway that's all for now. Hope you're all doing well and enjoying the spring!
Cheers
Hilary
Sunday nights
Sunday nights are interesting times. I always think I'm going to be so productive, and then I'm not. Only kind of productive, really. But that's so associated with homework, I think my Sunday nights will be revolutionized next year when I can relax on Sundays. Woohoo! But knowing me I'll figure out some way to have something to do.
Not much going on here. Well, not much that is new I should say. Lots of things are going on, just nothing out of the ordinary. Homework and papers, basically. And trying to find a job. And getting in shape, which was the real reason for this blog.
This was an up and down week. i don't think I did very good WW wise, which is OK as it's the first non-good week I think I've had. I think I probably gained 1-2 lbs, but in the grand scheme of things that's not too bad. But on the flip side, I ran for an entire hour today without stopping. I NEVER in my life thought that I would be able to do that, but I did! Woohoo! It wasn't too bad of a run either. I hit a wall around 45 minutes but ran through it and by about 50 minutes it was better. Yay for me. I'm hoping to run in some sort of race in the next few months, just because it's an accomplishment I'd like to have under my belt. A 5K would be ideal, because I run one of those almost every day and know I can do it, but a 10K would be even cooler. Maybe I can do one of each!
I should probably make an attempt at outlining this paper now. And then I have to read. And then get to bed at some point so that I can actually get up on time for MP tomorrow. I hope you all have a good Holy Week. It's kind of crazy that it's here, but since this year has been a very long lent-like year, Holy Week doesn't seem too different from any other day to be honest. That probably doesn't make sense to anyone not in my family, but there it is.
Hope you all have a good week!
Cheers
Hilary
Not much going on here. Well, not much that is new I should say. Lots of things are going on, just nothing out of the ordinary. Homework and papers, basically. And trying to find a job. And getting in shape, which was the real reason for this blog.
This was an up and down week. i don't think I did very good WW wise, which is OK as it's the first non-good week I think I've had. I think I probably gained 1-2 lbs, but in the grand scheme of things that's not too bad. But on the flip side, I ran for an entire hour today without stopping. I NEVER in my life thought that I would be able to do that, but I did! Woohoo! It wasn't too bad of a run either. I hit a wall around 45 minutes but ran through it and by about 50 minutes it was better. Yay for me. I'm hoping to run in some sort of race in the next few months, just because it's an accomplishment I'd like to have under my belt. A 5K would be ideal, because I run one of those almost every day and know I can do it, but a 10K would be even cooler. Maybe I can do one of each!
I should probably make an attempt at outlining this paper now. And then I have to read. And then get to bed at some point so that I can actually get up on time for MP tomorrow. I hope you all have a good Holy Week. It's kind of crazy that it's here, but since this year has been a very long lent-like year, Holy Week doesn't seem too different from any other day to be honest. That probably doesn't make sense to anyone not in my family, but there it is.
Hope you all have a good week!
Cheers
Hilary
Monday, March 09, 2009
Update.
Hey Everyone.
It's been a while since I've updated, but then again alot of stuff has been happening. Unfortunately, I didn't get into any PhD programs. I attribute that to several things: the economy crashing right after application went in, thereby making programs cut the number of people they took in; my previous studies in religion and not quite as much in history; and the strength of other candidates. I'll try again next year or the year after I think. But for this year I'm going to find a job (hopefully at a parish!) and enjoy spending time being married to Rick.
Speaking of jobs, I've begun the job search in earnest. I'm talking to one congregation, and will hopefully have an interview in the next couple of weeks. I won't say where or who, but I'd really really like this one to work out. It seems like a good fit, but I'll just have to pray and hope really. There's another position I'm applying for that would also be pretty good but again we'll see. There's only so much I can do when other people are applying too!
The job search is taking up most of my energy right now. I have classes still (although I'm on spring break and with my brother in Iowa City), but I'd really like to get a job under my belt before the semester ends. That way I could spend the early part of the summer getting prepared for starting the job!
I don't know too much more than that. Rick and I are getting more and more excited about the wedding, and the honeymoon after that! I hope you guys are all doing OK and that your spring begins well.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Lent.
Lent starts this week. Easter is later this year, so I didn't have an Ash Wednesday birthday this time (talk about a way to dampen the mood!). I've been trying to think of what I'm going to do. I think sometimes giving something up can be good when it overtakes your worldview, but I'm more of a "take something on" kind of person. So this year I'm taking on being really disciplined about weight watchers and working out and such. I know that may sound like a cop-out, but it really is a matter of being disciplined and focused about it, and about honoring the body God gave me. Hopefully it will go well! I'm already down 3-4 pounds after the first week, which is good (and that's on top of the 6 I lost in the first 6 weeks of the year) so that's good progress! Rick and I want to get in shape now so that it's easier to maintain once we're married and then once we have a family. I urge you all to think about what disciplines you could take on during lent...
I have to get back to my Dante homework though. Talk to you all later!
I have to get back to my Dante homework though. Talk to you all later!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Update.
Howdy everyone. Sorry it's been a little while since I updated. I was in England all of last week, so wasn't really in a place to update. To be honest, though, there's not really too much to write. Just doing the school thing and starting to look for jobs for next year. There are two at this point for which I'm going to apply, so we'll see how that goes. Other than that, just papers really. Rick and I had a fantastic weekend this past week, so that was great. We needed it. I'm headed to KY in a couple of weeks for diocesan convention. I'll be in Bowling Green and am going to spend the night with my BFF Kim in her new house! That's exciting. And I'll get to see my grandfather, which is also great. And I'll be at Christ Church and get to see a bunch of people I haven't really seen since I became a postulant, so that will be good as well. Ummm...yeah. I need to start looking for plane tickets for spring break. I'm hoping to go hang out with my brother for a week. I'm just debating on flying (which would be more convenient but more expensive) versus driving (less convenient but also cheaper) so we'll see. Hopefully I'll be able to get out there and we can hang out not in the hospital. iowa City seems like a pretty decent place, but I've really only seen the hospital and the mall. It would be good to see more of it, especially with Nathan.
Anywho that's all I know. Just thought I would let you all know that I'm still kickin'.
Anywho that's all I know. Just thought I would let you all know that I'm still kickin'.
Friday, February 06, 2009
26 et. al.
Well yesterday was my birthday. I'm now 26. Woohoo! (i think). It was a pretty low key and normal day, which as my mom said is a great thing in my family right now. It was nice, though. I had friends over last night and we had Chinese food and watched the Office and had 2 cakes and good beer! Woohoo! I finally felt like fall semester was over, because my ISM project is DONE and presented as of Wednesday the 4th. Now I'm just waiting for PhD stuff. Some days I think I'll get in, and other days I think there's not a chance in hell. So I really have no idea. I just need to start doing job stuff but I feel I can't do it until I have some idea about these programs. I should hopefully know something this month though. I'm still hoping the most for Brown, but I'd go for any of them really.
Other than that, I head out for Canterbury today. Haven't been to England since I studied abroad in the summer of 2003 in London, so this will be fun. Hopefully I'll have time to update this blog about the trip, but if not I'll fill y'all in when I get home. I hope you're staying warm and getting ready for spring!
Other than that, I head out for Canterbury today. Haven't been to England since I studied abroad in the summer of 2003 in London, so this will be fun. Hopefully I'll have time to update this blog about the trip, but if not I'll fill y'all in when I get home. I hope you're staying warm and getting ready for spring!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Ridiculousity 2
I think maybe I already titled a post "Ridiculousity," so this is the 2nd one. But if I haven't done so, then it's the first.
Anyway, a grand jury tossed out the charges levelled against two men in Lexington for hanging an effigy of Obama during the campaign. Part of the article reads: "Defense attorney Fred Peters said common sense prevailed among Fayette County grand jurors. He said they realized the case "had been blown way out of proportion." Fischer and Bush apologized Tuesday for what they called a "political prank." They said they hung the effigy after seeing a similar display of unsuccessful GOP vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin hung from a tree in a California man's yard."
This, my good readers, is beyond ridiculous. It's just another example of racism that is inherent within our society and will stay that way if people don't get a clue! The defendants argued that they had seen a similar act done with Sarah Palin as the figure in California. Now, I want it to be noted for the record that I do NOT condone hanging Sarah Palin in effigy. There are issues with that as well (particularly the use of such a violent means of expression against a political candidate whose opinions I happen to disagree with). I'm not so sure I'm for effigies in general--I don't know in the end how effective they really are for accomplishing anything, not to mention that they are pretty violent expressions. I'm all about freedom of expression but NOT about cultural insensitivity. Did these men not understand the unavoidable racist and lynching implications of their actions? I'm not willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. How can you be an American in 2009 and NOT realize that hanging the figure of any African-American in a tree would not bring to mind such things? SERIOUSLY. And the fact that the jury threw this case out means that such hate crimes will continue to go unpunished and be tacitly condoned by fellow citizens.
We may have elected our first African-American president, but racism is by no means absent from our society, and if this article is any hint, it won't be absent for quite a while...
I'm disgusted.
Anyway, a grand jury tossed out the charges levelled against two men in Lexington for hanging an effigy of Obama during the campaign. Part of the article reads: "Defense attorney Fred Peters said common sense prevailed among Fayette County grand jurors. He said they realized the case "had been blown way out of proportion." Fischer and Bush apologized Tuesday for what they called a "political prank." They said they hung the effigy after seeing a similar display of unsuccessful GOP vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin hung from a tree in a California man's yard."
This, my good readers, is beyond ridiculous. It's just another example of racism that is inherent within our society and will stay that way if people don't get a clue! The defendants argued that they had seen a similar act done with Sarah Palin as the figure in California. Now, I want it to be noted for the record that I do NOT condone hanging Sarah Palin in effigy. There are issues with that as well (particularly the use of such a violent means of expression against a political candidate whose opinions I happen to disagree with). I'm not so sure I'm for effigies in general--I don't know in the end how effective they really are for accomplishing anything, not to mention that they are pretty violent expressions. I'm all about freedom of expression but NOT about cultural insensitivity. Did these men not understand the unavoidable racist and lynching implications of their actions? I'm not willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. How can you be an American in 2009 and NOT realize that hanging the figure of any African-American in a tree would not bring to mind such things? SERIOUSLY. And the fact that the jury threw this case out means that such hate crimes will continue to go unpunished and be tacitly condoned by fellow citizens.
We may have elected our first African-American president, but racism is by no means absent from our society, and if this article is any hint, it won't be absent for quite a while...
I'm disgusted.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Boo.
This is a stressful year, to say the least. Right now I feel like I'm caught up in the middle of...nothing. And yet it's everything at the same time. Waiting for PhD admissions or rejections, waiting to find a job, waiting waiting waiting. And it's wearing me down, especially with the school work I need to be doing. I'm ready for Feb. 4 to be over, to be honest. Then the ISM project will be done and I can put it behind me. I was hoping to do a lot on it last week but the funeral and everything kept that from happening. I'm not blaming anyone...it is what it is, and family comes first. I don't have class tomorrow so hopefully I can get a lot done. Well, not hopefully. I have to get a lot done. I've been completely unproductive today. Every now and then I have those days when stress reaches a level that keeps me from being able to concentrate. Today has been one of those days. But that means tomorrow shouldn't be one of those days, which is a good thing. So hurray there. Nathan is sick with an infection, so he's in the hospital while they try to get that sorted out. Dad is currently en-route to Louisville from PA, where Erin will pick him up around midnight. And Mom is in IA with Nathan. We're all over the damn place!
Not much else really to report. I'm thinking of changing the blog background. This one is starting to get boring. Rick and I have a photographer for our wedding. I like his stuff and he seemed really nice over the phone so he should be easy to work with. The only major thing we have to do now is flowers, and figure out the food situation. The rest is just stuff my Mom, sister and I can do. And Rick when he's there to help : ) It was nice and warm one day this week...Friday I think. It was incredible. And then it got stupid cold again. Alas for winter! Ummm...my birthday is coming up, but this has been such a stressful time that it doesn't even feel like it! Because of the trip to Canterbury (which should be awesome!) I won't be able to see Rick until a week after my birthday, which is a bummer. Yep. don't know too much more than that. Everything is ice here, because of the melt on Friday. Rick's drive way is a skating rink. Seriously. Too bad I don't have any skates...
Not much else really to report. I'm thinking of changing the blog background. This one is starting to get boring. Rick and I have a photographer for our wedding. I like his stuff and he seemed really nice over the phone so he should be easy to work with. The only major thing we have to do now is flowers, and figure out the food situation. The rest is just stuff my Mom, sister and I can do. And Rick when he's there to help : ) It was nice and warm one day this week...Friday I think. It was incredible. And then it got stupid cold again. Alas for winter! Ummm...my birthday is coming up, but this has been such a stressful time that it doesn't even feel like it! Because of the trip to Canterbury (which should be awesome!) I won't be able to see Rick until a week after my birthday, which is a bummer. Yep. don't know too much more than that. Everything is ice here, because of the melt on Friday. Rick's drive way is a skating rink. Seriously. Too bad I don't have any skates...
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Funeral Homily
For those who don't know and read this blog, my grandmother passed away this week. I've been in PA for the funeral (which was this morning). I preached the funeral homily, and just figured I'd post it here. Who knows if any of you will read it, but there you go.
"Ever Onward"
In the name of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.
It’s amazing how the Holy Spirit works. When I heard that my grandmother had passed away, I began thinking about her and what her life had taught me. Over the next few days, ideas for this homily began to swirl around in my head. Then, last night, I was talking to Jerri Smith and learned something new about my grandmother. Whenever she would leave the room, she would say "Ever Onward!" This is not something that I had ever heard, I guess because the occasion never arose. But more and more people began to mention this phrase, and I couldn’t resist making this the center piece of the sermon. So, as she would say.
It is fitting that such a phrase would be central to a funeral service. Often we think of these times as times of mourning and remembering. And to a certain extent they are. We are here to celebrate the life of my grandmother and to remember her spirit as we mourn together. But we also come here to do something more. We are an Easter people—always looking forward to the Resurrection. Indeed, the first lines of the burial service in the Book of Common Prayer say "I am Resurrection and I am Life, says the Lord. Whoever has faith in me shall have life, even though he die…" (491). In this time it is easy for us to get caught in a kind of "Good Friday" mode, scared about things to come and saddened by our loss. But as Christians we do not live in the Good Friday moment. We live in the Easter moment.
The scripture readings today speak to such a moment in different ways. The Hebrew Bible readings note God’s constancy in the face of trouble. Job, the man who had everything taken away from him yet still remained faithful to God, proclaims, "For I know that my Redeemer lives, and that at the last he will stand upon the earth" (19:25). Psalm 46 makes a similar statement: "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change, though the mountains shake in the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble with its tumult…The nations are in an uproar, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge" (46:1-3, 6-7). These are good words for us to hear, even when we are not in such a state of loss. In our world it often seems that the nations are in an uproar and the kingdoms are tottering. And now, when our personal grief threatens to overwhelm us, to totter our own kingdoms, Job and the Psalmist assure us that God will remain firm to the very end. Even on Good Friday, when Jesus’s words on the cross "My God My God, why have you forsaken me?" echo in our ears, God is there. And God is with us now.
The New Testament readings provide us with another view of this Easter moment. The epistle speaks of the future time as well, yet not in the catastrophic sense of Job and the Psalm. Rather, we get a picture of the kingdom to come, the heavenly city where we will "hunger no more, and thirst no more; the sun will not strike [us], nor any scorching heat; for the Lamb at the centre of the throne will be our shepherd, and he will guide us to springs of the water of life, and God will wipe away every tear from our eyes" (7-16-17). Jesus tells of this time in the Gospel of John, when all who see the Son and believe will be raised and have eternal life (6:40). If there was ever a vision to help us move ever onward, these pictures from the New Testament provide it.
These passages also provide us with comfort at the passing of our mother, grandmother, and friend. We can be assured that she has moved Ever Onward. As I told Mrs. Smith last night, I’m sure her soul uttered those words as the passed. But what about those of us who are still here? What do we do when the ones we love have moved ever onward? We can take comfort in the hope of the Resurrection, but how do we go about our day to day lives when someone close to us has died? How do we rebuild when our kingdoms have tottered? One of the hymns we sing today is about the saints of God—but not those saints we might think of ordinarily. These saints are ordinary people. You. Me. We all have the ability to be saints. And we can learn from the lives of the saints who have gone before us, people like my grandmother.
When I was about eight years old, one of my homework assignments was to put together a family tree. This included the creation of a construction paper object that looked something like a tree with people I drew who looked something like my family. The other part of this assignment involved an interview with a family member who was not your parent. I decided to interview my Gorgeous Ma (so named because she always told us to look Gorgeous in pictures), because how many people in my class had a British grandmother? She told me one story in that interview that has always stayed with me, though I have never known why. I think the reason is becoming more and more clear as I get older.
The question I asked her had to do with school. "What was your least favorite class?" I asked. She responded "art." I asked her why and she told me that as a girl, she had been told to draw a picture for art class. So she drew a picture of a local shop. The teacher, however, was not pleased with her rendition. "Why didn’t she like your picture, Gorgeous Ma?" I asked. "Well," she replied, "the store window was empty." As I said, I have long wondered why I remember this story. It sounds like something my grandmother would have done, but it was not particularly inspirational for whatever artistic talent might have been budding within me.
The night I heard that Gorgeous Ma had passed away, I once again thought of this story and began to wonder, what if each of our lives were a store window, filled by the events of our lives? And this got me to thinking, what would be in Gorgeous Ma’s window? It’s likely that the answer would be different for each of us. We all knew her in different ways and have particular memories of this wonderful woman. For me, this window would be filled with many things: a map of England, a tray of warm strawberry tarts like those she used to make with my siblings and I, a picture of her Yorkie Love, some knitting, a book about Jewish spirituality, pictures of family that have long hung on her walls, calendars done for the historical society, a Book of Common Prayer, a bottle of Estee Lauder Beautiful, and the bear skin rug in her living room. The list could go on for quite a while, but you get the idea. We could each sit here and fill that window with so many things.
These windows are things we can carry with us throughout our lives. Just because she has passed, doesn’t mean that my grandmother’s window is all of a sudden empty. It remains in our lives, to be cherished and viewed whenever we like. It also challenges us to think about our own windows. What will people put in my window when I am gone? What do I want to be there? How do I want my window to help others?
As my grandmother moves ever onward, so do we. We move onward in the knowledge that God is steadfast even in the midst of turmoil. We move onward in the hope of the Resurrection, and of the time when our tears will be wiped away. And we move onward with the memory of this wonderful woman, looking to her window as we try to become saints in our own ways. Amen.
"Ever Onward"
In the name of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen.
It’s amazing how the Holy Spirit works. When I heard that my grandmother had passed away, I began thinking about her and what her life had taught me. Over the next few days, ideas for this homily began to swirl around in my head. Then, last night, I was talking to Jerri Smith and learned something new about my grandmother. Whenever she would leave the room, she would say "Ever Onward!" This is not something that I had ever heard, I guess because the occasion never arose. But more and more people began to mention this phrase, and I couldn’t resist making this the center piece of the sermon. So, as she would say.
It is fitting that such a phrase would be central to a funeral service. Often we think of these times as times of mourning and remembering. And to a certain extent they are. We are here to celebrate the life of my grandmother and to remember her spirit as we mourn together. But we also come here to do something more. We are an Easter people—always looking forward to the Resurrection. Indeed, the first lines of the burial service in the Book of Common Prayer say "I am Resurrection and I am Life, says the Lord. Whoever has faith in me shall have life, even though he die…" (491). In this time it is easy for us to get caught in a kind of "Good Friday" mode, scared about things to come and saddened by our loss. But as Christians we do not live in the Good Friday moment. We live in the Easter moment.
The scripture readings today speak to such a moment in different ways. The Hebrew Bible readings note God’s constancy in the face of trouble. Job, the man who had everything taken away from him yet still remained faithful to God, proclaims, "For I know that my Redeemer lives, and that at the last he will stand upon the earth" (19:25). Psalm 46 makes a similar statement: "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change, though the mountains shake in the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble with its tumult…The nations are in an uproar, the kingdoms totter; he utters his voice, the earth melts. The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge" (46:1-3, 6-7). These are good words for us to hear, even when we are not in such a state of loss. In our world it often seems that the nations are in an uproar and the kingdoms are tottering. And now, when our personal grief threatens to overwhelm us, to totter our own kingdoms, Job and the Psalmist assure us that God will remain firm to the very end. Even on Good Friday, when Jesus’s words on the cross "My God My God, why have you forsaken me?" echo in our ears, God is there. And God is with us now.
The New Testament readings provide us with another view of this Easter moment. The epistle speaks of the future time as well, yet not in the catastrophic sense of Job and the Psalm. Rather, we get a picture of the kingdom to come, the heavenly city where we will "hunger no more, and thirst no more; the sun will not strike [us], nor any scorching heat; for the Lamb at the centre of the throne will be our shepherd, and he will guide us to springs of the water of life, and God will wipe away every tear from our eyes" (7-16-17). Jesus tells of this time in the Gospel of John, when all who see the Son and believe will be raised and have eternal life (6:40). If there was ever a vision to help us move ever onward, these pictures from the New Testament provide it.
These passages also provide us with comfort at the passing of our mother, grandmother, and friend. We can be assured that she has moved Ever Onward. As I told Mrs. Smith last night, I’m sure her soul uttered those words as the passed. But what about those of us who are still here? What do we do when the ones we love have moved ever onward? We can take comfort in the hope of the Resurrection, but how do we go about our day to day lives when someone close to us has died? How do we rebuild when our kingdoms have tottered? One of the hymns we sing today is about the saints of God—but not those saints we might think of ordinarily. These saints are ordinary people. You. Me. We all have the ability to be saints. And we can learn from the lives of the saints who have gone before us, people like my grandmother.
When I was about eight years old, one of my homework assignments was to put together a family tree. This included the creation of a construction paper object that looked something like a tree with people I drew who looked something like my family. The other part of this assignment involved an interview with a family member who was not your parent. I decided to interview my Gorgeous Ma (so named because she always told us to look Gorgeous in pictures), because how many people in my class had a British grandmother? She told me one story in that interview that has always stayed with me, though I have never known why. I think the reason is becoming more and more clear as I get older.
The question I asked her had to do with school. "What was your least favorite class?" I asked. She responded "art." I asked her why and she told me that as a girl, she had been told to draw a picture for art class. So she drew a picture of a local shop. The teacher, however, was not pleased with her rendition. "Why didn’t she like your picture, Gorgeous Ma?" I asked. "Well," she replied, "the store window was empty." As I said, I have long wondered why I remember this story. It sounds like something my grandmother would have done, but it was not particularly inspirational for whatever artistic talent might have been budding within me.
The night I heard that Gorgeous Ma had passed away, I once again thought of this story and began to wonder, what if each of our lives were a store window, filled by the events of our lives? And this got me to thinking, what would be in Gorgeous Ma’s window? It’s likely that the answer would be different for each of us. We all knew her in different ways and have particular memories of this wonderful woman. For me, this window would be filled with many things: a map of England, a tray of warm strawberry tarts like those she used to make with my siblings and I, a picture of her Yorkie Love, some knitting, a book about Jewish spirituality, pictures of family that have long hung on her walls, calendars done for the historical society, a Book of Common Prayer, a bottle of Estee Lauder Beautiful, and the bear skin rug in her living room. The list could go on for quite a while, but you get the idea. We could each sit here and fill that window with so many things.
These windows are things we can carry with us throughout our lives. Just because she has passed, doesn’t mean that my grandmother’s window is all of a sudden empty. It remains in our lives, to be cherished and viewed whenever we like. It also challenges us to think about our own windows. What will people put in my window when I am gone? What do I want to be there? How do I want my window to help others?
As my grandmother moves ever onward, so do we. We move onward in the knowledge that God is steadfast even in the midst of turmoil. We move onward in the hope of the Resurrection, and of the time when our tears will be wiped away. And we move onward with the memory of this wonderful woman, looking to her window as we try to become saints in our own ways. Amen.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Loss.
I'm in Pennsylvania right now. For those who don't know, my grandmother passed away unexpectedly on Thursday evening. She had broken her leg and had to have surgery to repair it, but they had to go in and do something on her heart first. Her body just gave out, and her spirit went home. Although thinking about it, I'm not sure (in retrospect, obviously) that she would have been able to handle the 6-8 hour surgery for her leg. That's pretty tough on the body and everything. Needless to say, my family is in shock. First Nathan got sick (although he's doing better and the chemo is doing what it's supposed to do!!!), then my grandfather had some life-change stuff (don't really think I'm supposed to write about it here, just has to reorganize his life a bit, basically), and now my grandmother dies. Seriously-this kind of thing only happens in novels and in movies. When my mom called to tell me, it really felt unreal. In a way it still does. I'm staying in her house with my dad (mom is with Nathan in IA and Erin has to work) and there are just all of these reminders that she did not expect to enter that hospital and not come back. For example, her clothes for when she got home are laid out on the chair in her room. Her mail is in the backseat of her car, as if she just grabbed it and stuck it there to check it later. There's a book half-read on the coffee table. The fish are swimming lazily in their tank. The freezer is full of various foodstuffs that she bought. It's just so...weird. Surreal, really. When my Fluffy died (my mom's mom) I was 10, and didn't really notice those sorts of things. Not to mention that she was at the Barn (the country house) when she died, and we were in the house on High Street for the funeral. But now that I'm going through this kind of loss as an adult, it's seriously a completely different experience. It is a different experience, but one would think there are similarities. Maybe there will be Yoohoo at the funeral home (at my great-grandmother and grandmother's funerals in BG, we drank a lot of Yoohoo at the funeral home. So now Yoohoo always makes me think of death, and therefore I can't drink it). Gorgeous Ma will definitely be missed. I have a card by my bed in CT thanking me for the engagement photo I sent her, and it said the date was already on the calendar for next year. And I know she was really looking forward to my ordination, and that was something I really wanted her to see--graduations didn't matter so much to me, it's the ordination that I thought would be best for her to be at. But now she'll be seeing it from a different perspective. Oh well. At least she'll be present in some sense! I'm preaching the homily at the funeral. I asked Carol, the vicar, if I could. I feel like it would be a way to honor her, and to honor her excitement and joy about my vocation. Now I just have to write it...
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
The Righteous and the Rest.
I don't do this often, but I figured maybe I will start whenever I do preach (which is less often now, more often in the future I'm sure). This is the short homily (3-5 minutes) I will be preaching at St. Luke's tomorrow morning. The three texts listed are the lectionary readings we're doing in Chapel in the morning, so they give a Scriptural context for what I'm doing. The idea actually came to me in chapel today, which was convenient as I preach tomorrow.
“The Righteous and the Rest” Ps. 14, Mk. 1:29-45, Eph.2:1-10
Religious groups can be exclusive. I know, it’s hard to imagine that we could be an exclusive bunch, interested in our own salvation and our own journeys to God, but it’s true. The psalmist today provides a perfect example of this. The psalm is full of “they did this” and “they did that.” It reminds me of listening to four year olds complain about their peers who haven’t shared a toy, or are eating one too many cookies. Or, for that matter, one group of church goers critiquing the liturgical practices of another church. One of the great things about the psalms is their ability to hold a mirror up to humanity—both the good, and the bad. The psalmist speaks of “they” and once uses the more direct “you”—words meant to create a dichotomy between the righteous and the rest. The beginning of Paul’s passage almost seems to run along the same lines: you were dead when you followed the ways of “those who are disobedient.” We are the righteous. They are the rest.
I bring this tendency to exclusivity up because I want to make a few comments about mission. Now, you might think that this would be a rather odd way of bringing such a topic up, but I think it is important in seminary, where we can easily ignore the outside world. An example: this December, when I had about seventy-five pages of writing due at the end of the semester, I spent an entire evening writing at my desk. The ground was clear when I started, and when I glanced out of the window I was startled to see three inches of snow on the ground. Mind you, I sit right next to a window. Literally. It’s about a foot away from my desk chair. And there is even another window in my room. I had gotten so wrapped up in what I was doing that I had not even looked out of the window for hours. And this is just concerning the weather—much less the social justice issues, the poverty and helplessness that seems to pervade my neighborhood. I have to ask, am I too busy to look out of my own seminary-world window to see that? And the answer, if I’m honest, is more often yes than no.
This leads me to my next point. Forgive me GOE takers, but I want to talk a minute about the missio Dei, or the mission of God. In the mid-twentieth century as the ecumenical movement gained more and more momentum, there was increasing conversation about the mission of the Church universal. Before this time, mission had actually been missions, carried out by individual churches with the focus on conversion. However, by the time the 60s rolled around, Christianity had spread throughout the world and denominations were finding that missions might not be the most pressing need for the church anymore. This was known in missiological terms as the missio Ecclesia, or the mission of the church. The implications of this term are that missions were dependent upon the actions of the individual churches—the Church of England, for example. However, by the 1968 World Council of Churches meeting in Uppsala, the ground had shifted to the missio Dei. The WCC defined the missio Dei as something meant “to bring all people into this new creation. All who work for justice and peace in the world participated in this new creation” (Douglas 272). In more stark terms, the mission of God was not dependent upon the church. Indeed, the mission of God worked outside of the church.
It’s interesting that it took almost 2000 years from Jesus’s time to figure this out. Genesis 1 does not read: “the spirit moved across the deep from it’s source point of St. Stephen’s by the formless void.” No. That spirit moved before an institutional church even existed! Similarly, in today’s Gospel passage we see Jesus responding to the deep needs of those around him. In yesterday’s Gospel he preached repentance. In today’s he goes about curing the sick and casting out demons. All of these outside of an institutional Church.
Now, at first this all seems like an odd message to give to future leaders of a church institution. Hopefully my last two points will show it is actually quite relevant, however.
The first point comes from the Ephesians passage. As Paul writes: “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God— not the result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are what he has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works” (8-10). We were created to do good works; to be a just people who work for justice. Our very nature as a Christian people is to be a people who reaches out to the deep needs and hurts of the world, as Jesus shows us in Mark. The hardest part is done—we’re already made for good works. Now we just have to do them!
The second point, and the one thing I’d like for you to take from this if you don’t remember anything else, is that the mission of God is not confined to the church. I said it before, but as the dean said, redundant communication is key to leadership development. There are going to be people responding to the mission of God whether or not they go to church. But think of all of the great resources we—as part of a larger institution—can bring! Prayer, advocacy, people-power, and money, to name a few. But we have to respond to that call. We have to look out of the window and see not only the snow falling on the ground, but the homeless who are forced to sleep in that snow. The missio Dei is going to happen with or without us: the question we must ask is, do we want to be a part of it?
“The Righteous and the Rest” Ps. 14, Mk. 1:29-45, Eph.2:1-10
Religious groups can be exclusive. I know, it’s hard to imagine that we could be an exclusive bunch, interested in our own salvation and our own journeys to God, but it’s true. The psalmist today provides a perfect example of this. The psalm is full of “they did this” and “they did that.” It reminds me of listening to four year olds complain about their peers who haven’t shared a toy, or are eating one too many cookies. Or, for that matter, one group of church goers critiquing the liturgical practices of another church. One of the great things about the psalms is their ability to hold a mirror up to humanity—both the good, and the bad. The psalmist speaks of “they” and once uses the more direct “you”—words meant to create a dichotomy between the righteous and the rest. The beginning of Paul’s passage almost seems to run along the same lines: you were dead when you followed the ways of “those who are disobedient.” We are the righteous. They are the rest.
I bring this tendency to exclusivity up because I want to make a few comments about mission. Now, you might think that this would be a rather odd way of bringing such a topic up, but I think it is important in seminary, where we can easily ignore the outside world. An example: this December, when I had about seventy-five pages of writing due at the end of the semester, I spent an entire evening writing at my desk. The ground was clear when I started, and when I glanced out of the window I was startled to see three inches of snow on the ground. Mind you, I sit right next to a window. Literally. It’s about a foot away from my desk chair. And there is even another window in my room. I had gotten so wrapped up in what I was doing that I had not even looked out of the window for hours. And this is just concerning the weather—much less the social justice issues, the poverty and helplessness that seems to pervade my neighborhood. I have to ask, am I too busy to look out of my own seminary-world window to see that? And the answer, if I’m honest, is more often yes than no.
This leads me to my next point. Forgive me GOE takers, but I want to talk a minute about the missio Dei, or the mission of God. In the mid-twentieth century as the ecumenical movement gained more and more momentum, there was increasing conversation about the mission of the Church universal. Before this time, mission had actually been missions, carried out by individual churches with the focus on conversion. However, by the time the 60s rolled around, Christianity had spread throughout the world and denominations were finding that missions might not be the most pressing need for the church anymore. This was known in missiological terms as the missio Ecclesia, or the mission of the church. The implications of this term are that missions were dependent upon the actions of the individual churches—the Church of England, for example. However, by the 1968 World Council of Churches meeting in Uppsala, the ground had shifted to the missio Dei. The WCC defined the missio Dei as something meant “to bring all people into this new creation. All who work for justice and peace in the world participated in this new creation” (Douglas 272). In more stark terms, the mission of God was not dependent upon the church. Indeed, the mission of God worked outside of the church.
It’s interesting that it took almost 2000 years from Jesus’s time to figure this out. Genesis 1 does not read: “the spirit moved across the deep from it’s source point of St. Stephen’s by the formless void.” No. That spirit moved before an institutional church even existed! Similarly, in today’s Gospel passage we see Jesus responding to the deep needs of those around him. In yesterday’s Gospel he preached repentance. In today’s he goes about curing the sick and casting out demons. All of these outside of an institutional Church.
Now, at first this all seems like an odd message to give to future leaders of a church institution. Hopefully my last two points will show it is actually quite relevant, however.
The first point comes from the Ephesians passage. As Paul writes: “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God— not the result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are what he has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works” (8-10). We were created to do good works; to be a just people who work for justice. Our very nature as a Christian people is to be a people who reaches out to the deep needs and hurts of the world, as Jesus shows us in Mark. The hardest part is done—we’re already made for good works. Now we just have to do them!
The second point, and the one thing I’d like for you to take from this if you don’t remember anything else, is that the mission of God is not confined to the church. I said it before, but as the dean said, redundant communication is key to leadership development. There are going to be people responding to the mission of God whether or not they go to church. But think of all of the great resources we—as part of a larger institution—can bring! Prayer, advocacy, people-power, and money, to name a few. But we have to respond to that call. We have to look out of the window and see not only the snow falling on the ground, but the homeless who are forced to sleep in that snow. The missio Dei is going to happen with or without us: the question we must ask is, do we want to be a part of it?
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