I'll admit it. I'm scared- not so much in a "there's a big scary monster under the bed" kind of way, but a "I don't have a job and no one wants to hire me" kind of way. I think this would all feel better if there were continually jobs opening up, but there aren't. And I have a MASSIVE amount of student loan debt and only 300 dollars to my name right now. Seriously.
I've been joking about working at Starbucks, but more and more that's looking like it's going to be a reality, as long as they'll hire me. I don't know what it pays, but I do know that they have health insurance, so at least I could have that covered.
I had a conversation with another potential employer today. I thought it went OK...wasn't an official interview or anything (I seem to be having lots of these "conversations" lately) but I felt an underlying hesitance to hire an ordained person. So if that doesn't work out, there are two church options I'm also exploring but beyond that...nothing.
Maybe I'll get a sandwich board and work in a Boston McDonald's and proclaim "Hey! I have grad degrees from Harvard AND Yale, awesome grades, am ordained female and under 30, AND NO CHURCHES WILL HIRE ME!!!!" Think that might work? Ha.
Sorry to have such down-er blog posts lately. It's really just this all consuming issue in my life at the moment, and is made harder by the fact that almost everyone else in my class who's being ordained in ECUSA has a job or is in a diocese where they help you find jobs. It's just...frustrating. I know something will happen. God wouldn't get me this far and then just kind of leave me alone and not present some opportunity for ministry (not in a fatalistic "this was meant to be or wasn't meant to be" kind of way) but it's hard to keep that ever present when no money and lots of loans to pay back loom in the very near future. Arg. I'm not filling out some of these surveys they keep sending the graduating students because I don't have a job, and it's depressing and shaming (I know I know it shouldn't be but we all have pride issues) and I just don't want to advertise at graduation "hey I can't seem to get hired and don't know what the f*** I'm doing now!" kind of thing.
And on top of this I don't think my diocese is going to make it possible for Rick to be at my ordination. Which is also hard. I want him to be there, and I think it's important for him to be there. He's part of my ministry, and can't be there for a very important point in it. Lame.
Well, back to the old exams and papers.
Oh and by the way, WTF with the 90 degree weather in Boston today? Weird. It was 81 here and is supposed to be 58 tomorrow. So strange.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
...
Not too much to say today. It started off as a great day-I woke up before my alarm clock (and on a day when I didn't have to get up particularly early, no less!) to a sunny room with the fans blowing and the wonderful quiet of the morning that happens in this neighborhood, except on trash days or when there's construction. Then I had a nice breakfast. Then I got the phone call telling me I wasn't being considered for a position that I had interviewed particularly well for because I couldn't live in the neighborhood. That definitely put a damper on my day-and that was 9:30 this morning. Woo. I shelved at the library for four hours- four hours in a tiny, hot, and stuffy room standing on concrete and lifting books. But it was gettin' paid so whatever.
The church thing is so disappointing because I didn't grow up thinking of ECUSA as an insular church. My diocese had always brought in people from all over-you didn't have to be from KY to work for the church in KY. But I'm finding in this neck of the woods that so often people really only want those who are from their diocese...I have to wait until "their own" get placed before I can take a look at the leftovers. And that's a hard thing to swallow, especially when I feel that I've got a lot of energy and potential-not to mention that I'm hardworking and excited about Jesus.
Luckily I have an interview tomorrow with the position that I really really REALLY want and feel most called to. I don't think the pay is great (I heard on the grape vine around 17 000 but I don't know if that's true, although it does include health benefits and that would get me in for the pension fund) BUT it's doing young adult ministry which is what I feel called to do. And I would get to do it NOT as a side job, but as THE job! And that would be awesome.
So pray hard for me tomorrow. I really feel called to what this job asks people to do...and I feel I could do a lot in that position. I just have to get it first...
The church thing is so disappointing because I didn't grow up thinking of ECUSA as an insular church. My diocese had always brought in people from all over-you didn't have to be from KY to work for the church in KY. But I'm finding in this neck of the woods that so often people really only want those who are from their diocese...I have to wait until "their own" get placed before I can take a look at the leftovers. And that's a hard thing to swallow, especially when I feel that I've got a lot of energy and potential-not to mention that I'm hardworking and excited about Jesus.
Luckily I have an interview tomorrow with the position that I really really REALLY want and feel most called to. I don't think the pay is great (I heard on the grape vine around 17 000 but I don't know if that's true, although it does include health benefits and that would get me in for the pension fund) BUT it's doing young adult ministry which is what I feel called to do. And I would get to do it NOT as a side job, but as THE job! And that would be awesome.
So pray hard for me tomorrow. I really feel called to what this job asks people to do...and I feel I could do a lot in that position. I just have to get it first...
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Adventures With My Neti (or Netti?)
To preface this post, I have been in allergy hell for the past few days. I LOVE spring. I love summer even more. And spring in New England is so intense I think because it's a short season...things just became green this past week, and April is almost over! Needless to say, that's been a hard adjustment to make up here in Yankee-ville. The South definitely has this whole spring thing down better (as well as just about everything else).
Anyway, I'd been taking my normal allergy medicine regimen when all of this kicked in so I added some pseudophedrine on top of that to try and help get me over the hump. So then I switched to benadryl. And ibuprofen. I'm still coughing (not as much though) and still sniffling, but with the help of tissues with aloe in them to keep me from looking like rudolph and some allergy meds, I may be seeing a tiny speck of light in the distance. Or maybe not. I don't want to jinx myself.
I'd been hearing about neti pots for a while, and a post on Facebook from a friend reminded me about them. I told her I wasn't going to get one, as it looked like something Dwight Schrute would use and I wasn't ready to go that road. But then I saw one on sale for 8.99 and figured what the hell. I'd give it a shot. Hence the picture at the beginning of the blog.
Needless to say, it's kind of weird. See below:
You basically pour water mixed with a saline solution into one nostril and it goes into the snus cavities, flushes them out, and drains out of the other nostril. I think I'm getting a little more used to it, but it's still kind of weird. It does leave you with a nice refreshing feeling afterwards, though. And it's all natural, which is nice. It says you can use it for kids over 4, but I'm not sure a. how this could fit up a four year old's nose (it barely fits up mine) and b. how they would know not to breathe out of their nose and only their mouth. If you don't do that, the solution drains down the back of your throat, which is pretty gross.The whole process is kind of wet and gross, but no worse than a saline nasal spray.
That's what has been occupying my time. Trying to beat allergies. That and wedding planning. And finding a job. And finishing the semester. But the neti pot seemed the most interesting...weird, huh?
Sorry if that grossed you out Mom. Didn't mean to.
Oh and I finished two books this week (fun books, not school books). A Lion Among Men, which was OK but a little too pyschological for me, and World Without End, which took me months to get through after I started it at Christmas because I just didn't have time. It was good...very much like Pillars of the Earth, though. Now I've moved on to Blue Highways. It's a travel narrative/journal but it's pretty interesting. I've started compiling a list of books to read during the next year when I can read whatever the hell I want. It's going to be great! This blog may turn into a book journal of sorts...I think I'm more likely to do it if it's electronic rather than handwritten. So keep your eyes open. It may even start this summer! Woohoo!
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Just me...how novel.
I've been looking at various wedding things lately (obviously because of planning) and I've been amazed by how much pressure there is out there to create "the perfect day." I've gotten two great pieces of advice about this whole process. The first was from my mom, who basically said "It's your wedding, you can do what you want." Not from a she doesn't care perspective, but from a perspective of "it's your wedding and Rick's wedding and no one else's" which I think is great. So that's been awesome. And someone else told me to think of the wedding as a big party celebrating you and your fiance (by then husband!). And that's the attitude we've had throughout this whole thing. It's about making our commitment before God and our families and then celebrating. This is a little more in line with the Eastern Orthodox tradition of weddings, but I think there's something there. So here are things we've decided on that may go against the "traditional" ideas of weddings. Not that any of you reading this are likely getting married, but in case some random bride to be comes across this, she can get encouragement (and hopefully the groom to be as well!).
1. We're not having champagne. For some reason this one sticks out to me because that champagne toast is so...the thing. My sister didn't do it either. They had some white sangria. Rick and I are having beer, because we love beer and it's part of who we are as a couple (Note: we are not alcoholics, but in fact have a real interest in different kinds of beers and in brewing our own. Just wanted to put that out there). Furthermore, it's going to be a wheat beer brewed at a local microbrewery.
2. No flower girl. Mostly because there's no little girl in either immediate family for the job. My nephew will be the most fantastic ring bearer ever, though.
3. No DJ. No Dancing. It's all about the iPod as background music.
4. Flowers. We're getting them bulk from a florist and just going with daisies. Nothing fancy shmancy. Just very simple and pretty and summery.
5. I have a bridesman, aka my brother. We did this at my sister's wedding as well. Nathan is my brother, and I want him on my side supporting me during the wedding. Gender stereotypes be damned!
6. We decided (after a long think on it) not to go with tuxes. That in itself isn't so odd, but I think it's a little less normal for an indoor church wedding. But I'm excited about what they'll be wearing, so it should be good.
7. Krispy Kreme donuts for the wedding cake. I am soooooo excited about this.
Now that I've looked back on this list, none of those are that weird really. Just not what you'd see in Father of the Bride (although that is a great movie). I still haven't decided on whether Rick and I will have pics taken together before or after the wedding. There's the whole not seeing each other thing, but there's also the "Wanting to have fun at the party instead of having our pictures taken" thing as well. I would rather have a choreographed moment of Rick seeing me for the first time (so we can get the picture of it : ) ) than miss the entire reception.
And then it's off to Disney World. I'm am so pumped about this. I haven't been on what I would consider a real vacation since I was 11. I've been places, most definitely, all over the world. But they've always been for various study or mission reasons. This will be going someplace where we are there to relax completely. And it is going to rock (I could go into my whole theological views of going on a real vacation...but not at the moment).
Other than that...just doing homework. Yeehaw. I swear it's not getting any warmer here, which is beyond depressing. It's sunny and things are starting to bloom, but it's still relatively cold. Every now and then we'll get a day that's close to 60, but that's about as good as it gets. Where's spring??????
1. We're not having champagne. For some reason this one sticks out to me because that champagne toast is so...the thing. My sister didn't do it either. They had some white sangria. Rick and I are having beer, because we love beer and it's part of who we are as a couple (Note: we are not alcoholics, but in fact have a real interest in different kinds of beers and in brewing our own. Just wanted to put that out there). Furthermore, it's going to be a wheat beer brewed at a local microbrewery.
2. No flower girl. Mostly because there's no little girl in either immediate family for the job. My nephew will be the most fantastic ring bearer ever, though.
3. No DJ. No Dancing. It's all about the iPod as background music.
4. Flowers. We're getting them bulk from a florist and just going with daisies. Nothing fancy shmancy. Just very simple and pretty and summery.
5. I have a bridesman, aka my brother. We did this at my sister's wedding as well. Nathan is my brother, and I want him on my side supporting me during the wedding. Gender stereotypes be damned!
6. We decided (after a long think on it) not to go with tuxes. That in itself isn't so odd, but I think it's a little less normal for an indoor church wedding. But I'm excited about what they'll be wearing, so it should be good.
7. Krispy Kreme donuts for the wedding cake. I am soooooo excited about this.
Now that I've looked back on this list, none of those are that weird really. Just not what you'd see in Father of the Bride (although that is a great movie). I still haven't decided on whether Rick and I will have pics taken together before or after the wedding. There's the whole not seeing each other thing, but there's also the "Wanting to have fun at the party instead of having our pictures taken" thing as well. I would rather have a choreographed moment of Rick seeing me for the first time (so we can get the picture of it : ) ) than miss the entire reception.
And then it's off to Disney World. I'm am so pumped about this. I haven't been on what I would consider a real vacation since I was 11. I've been places, most definitely, all over the world. But they've always been for various study or mission reasons. This will be going someplace where we are there to relax completely. And it is going to rock (I could go into my whole theological views of going on a real vacation...but not at the moment).
Other than that...just doing homework. Yeehaw. I swear it's not getting any warmer here, which is beyond depressing. It's sunny and things are starting to bloom, but it's still relatively cold. Every now and then we'll get a day that's close to 60, but that's about as good as it gets. Where's spring??????
Monday, April 06, 2009
Whoa.
The subject line to this is a reaction on my part. I actually finished a paper today and it's not due until the 16th. Now, many of you will not think this is a big deal. BUT if you've ever been in graduate school (for the humanities, in particular) you will know that this is a feat. I have yet to proof the paper, but I like to have a day or two in between so I come to it with fresh eyes. Anyway I just thought I would share the accomplishment. Not a major life or world-changing event, but it's nice to have it done. Now I just need to do some reading...
Sunday, April 05, 2009
OK...
NOTE: I accidentally posted this on the family blog the other day, and just now realized it. but it's all information they already know. So I'm putting it on the blog it's supposed to go on. Sorry fam for boring you with things you already knew...
Hey Everyone. It's been a month since I've posted, so I thought I would say hey and let you all know what's going on. Life has been a bit hectic as of late, with the semester starting to come to a close and job searches going on in earnest. And wedding planning! And my journey for getting into shape. So here we go!
Family life has been crazy as it has been this entire year. We're all ready for the bad stuff to stop. Seriously. Enough is enough. Hopefully we're starting to come out of this thunderstorm that has been October-Now. Prayers are always welcome, and still definitely needed for the family.
The semester is starting to end. Only 3 weeks left of class, which is crazy to think about, especially since I'm not starting a PhD in the fall. But since I've been in school since kindergarten, it will be good to have a year off. The only downside is trying to find a job. The economy sucks and there aren't many full time associate positions out there, but I'm trying my best. I've had a preliminary conversation at one parish, and will hopefully have a formal interview there. I have another interview with a parish later this month-that one looks pretty intense. I'm scheduled for about 5 hours of time with them, and that's just on a first interview! And then I hopefully have a phone interview early next week at another place. The teaching jobs are so few I'm not hopeful about those. If nothing else, I'll work Sundays at my friend Mike's church and work at Starbucks or something during the week while I get PhD applications under way. I'm going to go about the whole thing in a different manner, and I'm hoping that will help me apply to more programs. The reality is that I want to do good solid scholarship on Anglican spirituality, and to do that I need the PhD. But that could be in theology, history, or even English. So I'm going to widen my search. I have to start working on that now, though, so that I can make an even better personal statement.
Rick and I are making progress in the wedding planning. We were conflicted about the tux choice, so we finally decided to nix that. The guys are going to be in khakis with a white shirt and cornflower tie. Rick will be in a tan suit. I think that will look great, and be way more comfortable (and cheaper!). Blaine's hopefully going to wear a seersucker number. It's going to be adorable. And I found the shoes (Birkenstocks) that I want for the wedding. So that's all good. And we made a flower decision. I just need to put together the liturgy, and we'll be doing invites in May when I'm home for the dress fitting. And the honeymoon is slowly but surely being paid off! I'm really excited about marrying Rick, and the wedding is going to be an awesome celebration of the two of us!
For those who don't know, in Feb. I joined weightwatchers online. So far I've lost 21 lbs! It's exciting. Although I had Indian food for dinner and feel like I just gained it all back! Oh well. There are good days and bad days, but I'm in better shape and my clothes fit better and I feel better. And that's what matters. It's weird though. Everyone asks if I'm doing it for the wedding. And the honest to God answer is no, I'm not. Rick thinks I'm beautiful regardless. He's lost lots of weight too, recently, but I find him handsome no matter what. The truth is that we want to start our marriage living a healthy lifestyle, so that we can bring our kids up living a healthy lifestyle as well.
Other than that, just doing homework really. I'm working on a paper I am going to enter into some competitions and hopefully get published. I hope it turns out well. Seriously. I like the topic and everything too. So we'll see.
Anyway that's all for now. Hope you're all doing well and enjoying the spring!
Cheers
Hilary
Hey Everyone. It's been a month since I've posted, so I thought I would say hey and let you all know what's going on. Life has been a bit hectic as of late, with the semester starting to come to a close and job searches going on in earnest. And wedding planning! And my journey for getting into shape. So here we go!
Family life has been crazy as it has been this entire year. We're all ready for the bad stuff to stop. Seriously. Enough is enough. Hopefully we're starting to come out of this thunderstorm that has been October-Now. Prayers are always welcome, and still definitely needed for the family.
The semester is starting to end. Only 3 weeks left of class, which is crazy to think about, especially since I'm not starting a PhD in the fall. But since I've been in school since kindergarten, it will be good to have a year off. The only downside is trying to find a job. The economy sucks and there aren't many full time associate positions out there, but I'm trying my best. I've had a preliminary conversation at one parish, and will hopefully have a formal interview there. I have another interview with a parish later this month-that one looks pretty intense. I'm scheduled for about 5 hours of time with them, and that's just on a first interview! And then I hopefully have a phone interview early next week at another place. The teaching jobs are so few I'm not hopeful about those. If nothing else, I'll work Sundays at my friend Mike's church and work at Starbucks or something during the week while I get PhD applications under way. I'm going to go about the whole thing in a different manner, and I'm hoping that will help me apply to more programs. The reality is that I want to do good solid scholarship on Anglican spirituality, and to do that I need the PhD. But that could be in theology, history, or even English. So I'm going to widen my search. I have to start working on that now, though, so that I can make an even better personal statement.
Rick and I are making progress in the wedding planning. We were conflicted about the tux choice, so we finally decided to nix that. The guys are going to be in khakis with a white shirt and cornflower tie. Rick will be in a tan suit. I think that will look great, and be way more comfortable (and cheaper!). Blaine's hopefully going to wear a seersucker number. It's going to be adorable. And I found the shoes (Birkenstocks) that I want for the wedding. So that's all good. And we made a flower decision. I just need to put together the liturgy, and we'll be doing invites in May when I'm home for the dress fitting. And the honeymoon is slowly but surely being paid off! I'm really excited about marrying Rick, and the wedding is going to be an awesome celebration of the two of us!
For those who don't know, in Feb. I joined weightwatchers online. So far I've lost 21 lbs! It's exciting. Although I had Indian food for dinner and feel like I just gained it all back! Oh well. There are good days and bad days, but I'm in better shape and my clothes fit better and I feel better. And that's what matters. It's weird though. Everyone asks if I'm doing it for the wedding. And the honest to God answer is no, I'm not. Rick thinks I'm beautiful regardless. He's lost lots of weight too, recently, but I find him handsome no matter what. The truth is that we want to start our marriage living a healthy lifestyle, so that we can bring our kids up living a healthy lifestyle as well.
Other than that, just doing homework really. I'm working on a paper I am going to enter into some competitions and hopefully get published. I hope it turns out well. Seriously. I like the topic and everything too. So we'll see.
Anyway that's all for now. Hope you're all doing well and enjoying the spring!
Cheers
Hilary
Sunday nights
Sunday nights are interesting times. I always think I'm going to be so productive, and then I'm not. Only kind of productive, really. But that's so associated with homework, I think my Sunday nights will be revolutionized next year when I can relax on Sundays. Woohoo! But knowing me I'll figure out some way to have something to do.
Not much going on here. Well, not much that is new I should say. Lots of things are going on, just nothing out of the ordinary. Homework and papers, basically. And trying to find a job. And getting in shape, which was the real reason for this blog.
This was an up and down week. i don't think I did very good WW wise, which is OK as it's the first non-good week I think I've had. I think I probably gained 1-2 lbs, but in the grand scheme of things that's not too bad. But on the flip side, I ran for an entire hour today without stopping. I NEVER in my life thought that I would be able to do that, but I did! Woohoo! It wasn't too bad of a run either. I hit a wall around 45 minutes but ran through it and by about 50 minutes it was better. Yay for me. I'm hoping to run in some sort of race in the next few months, just because it's an accomplishment I'd like to have under my belt. A 5K would be ideal, because I run one of those almost every day and know I can do it, but a 10K would be even cooler. Maybe I can do one of each!
I should probably make an attempt at outlining this paper now. And then I have to read. And then get to bed at some point so that I can actually get up on time for MP tomorrow. I hope you all have a good Holy Week. It's kind of crazy that it's here, but since this year has been a very long lent-like year, Holy Week doesn't seem too different from any other day to be honest. That probably doesn't make sense to anyone not in my family, but there it is.
Hope you all have a good week!
Cheers
Hilary
Not much going on here. Well, not much that is new I should say. Lots of things are going on, just nothing out of the ordinary. Homework and papers, basically. And trying to find a job. And getting in shape, which was the real reason for this blog.
This was an up and down week. i don't think I did very good WW wise, which is OK as it's the first non-good week I think I've had. I think I probably gained 1-2 lbs, but in the grand scheme of things that's not too bad. But on the flip side, I ran for an entire hour today without stopping. I NEVER in my life thought that I would be able to do that, but I did! Woohoo! It wasn't too bad of a run either. I hit a wall around 45 minutes but ran through it and by about 50 minutes it was better. Yay for me. I'm hoping to run in some sort of race in the next few months, just because it's an accomplishment I'd like to have under my belt. A 5K would be ideal, because I run one of those almost every day and know I can do it, but a 10K would be even cooler. Maybe I can do one of each!
I should probably make an attempt at outlining this paper now. And then I have to read. And then get to bed at some point so that I can actually get up on time for MP tomorrow. I hope you all have a good Holy Week. It's kind of crazy that it's here, but since this year has been a very long lent-like year, Holy Week doesn't seem too different from any other day to be honest. That probably doesn't make sense to anyone not in my family, but there it is.
Hope you all have a good week!
Cheers
Hilary
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