Friday, August 25, 2006

Subconscious (Un)reality

So my hopes of getting a good night's sleep last night were quickly dashed to the ground. Had a crazy dream that left me pretty restless, to say the least. In said dream the U2charist started and only about 40 people showed up. And then the powerpoint wasn't working and the whole thing was a mess. I told Charles about it, but he said if 40 people show up it will be a success. Be that as it may, I hope there will be more than 40 people there. Then Peachie (our beagle) started barking at 6 am. This was weird for a couple of reasons. 1. As she's gotten older, she tends to sleep longer and doesn't whine so much during the night. and 2. She's never been really big on barking, but yesterday she was barking all of the time. I'm a firm believer in that whole "animals have a sixth sense" thing, so maybe we're going to have an earthquake or something. Who knows. I thought about just getting up at 6, as I had trouble falling back asleep, but eventually sleep came and it was all good. Until my phone rang at 7:20 am. Julie Roth wanted me to watch Alan Todd, which I would have loved to do, if it weren't for the fact that I'm going crazy today getting stuff ready for the service tomorrow. So I felt really really bad that I had to say no. Then I couldn't fall asleep for real, and just laid in bed for a while.

I had another crazy dream the night before. In this one I had to meet with the Commission on Ministry again, and they said I could be a postulant as long as I was willing to go back to being a 10 year old and live for a year as such. But the thing was, I would have the intellect and life experience of a 23 year old. It was the most horrible dream ever. I kept trying to convince people that I knew this stuff already and wasn't really ten, but they didn't believe me. Probably plays in to my fears that alot of priests in the diocese have known me since I was about 10 or 11, and that they'll always see me that way (something which I don't believe is true at all, and have never had reason to believe).


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